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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 4, 2021 22:16:46 GMT 1
By the way as a reference for the Blitzball, this is what I was using. It's from Final Fantasy 10. What does it do? How powerful? Not sure but it's basically a equivalent of a soccer ball
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Post by AQUA CAT! on Mar 4, 2021 22:29:51 GMT 1
What does it do? How powerful? Not sure but it's basically a equivalent of a soccer ball It looks like one, designed from a Yarmulke. I was going to say Ripley but going into battle with a toy is a hell of a handicap.
Nonetheless, Ripley. She takes Conan because Conan is way too sheltered. Ripley's seen and done things. Munchkin Land is too overwhelming for Conan's beige landscape sensibilities. I also think Conan's mostly naked body will snap Ripley out of her naked Michael Moore stupor while Conan is lost in color. It won't be easy but eventually she'll shatter his face with a yellow brick and pet a cat.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 4, 2021 23:17:22 GMT 1
Would a midlife crisis actually effect someone like conan? Granted I haven't seen that movie in years but...
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Post by AQUA CAT! on Mar 4, 2021 23:31:20 GMT 1
Would a midlife crisis actually effect someone like conan? Granted I haven't seen that movie in years but... It might. Ripley might open with "get away from her you bitch!" and a depressed Conan might shuffle off sadly.
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Post by AQUA JAMES! on Mar 5, 2021 1:50:54 GMT 1
At the moment, Imma say Conan. No idea what the Blitzball does.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 5, 2021 13:42:40 GMT 1
Okay here's my take on this fight.
Conan and Ellen Ripley somehow managed to get to Munchkinland.
Conan found a random Lead Pipe there and is going through the midlife crisis.
Ellen Ripley brought a Blitz ball for some reason and while she's walking around Munchkinland she runs into a naked Michael Moore and is so grossed out by the sight of it that she covers her eyes and runs away, where she stumbles into Conan.
The Munchkins, assuming that they already haven't fled due to a naked Michael Moore wandering around, are absolutely going to get the fuck out when they see someone like conan Walking into their land.
I'm sure the sight of conan is more appealing than the sight of a naked Michael Moore but Ellen knows conan is a threat and can easily crush her. So she's not going to charge into a fight with him right away.
But I don't see how she can beat conan. Let's say she throws the blitz ball at him, she doesn't have the strength or ability to make it effective against him and lets be honest here, midlife crisis or not if conan gets hit by the ball he's just going to get angry and going to go after her in a rage.
I don't think there's anything in Munchkinland that she could use to her advantage.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 13:48:20 GMT 1
Alright I think it's time to move on to the next fight.
I'm giving this fight to Conan. If Ellen Ripley rolled a better weapon, I think she could have easily won. But I don't see how she could possibly get a upper hand in this fight.
Ellen Ripley will get another chance in the losers bracket.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 13:52:04 GMT 1
Alright it's time for fight 4.
Let's see who's fighting this time...
Fighter 1 is.....James Bond!
And fighter 2 is....John Wick!
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 13:53:32 GMT 1
Let's see where James Bond and John Wick will be fighting at...
A Crowded Chucky Cheese.
Oh those poor kids...
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 13:58:27 GMT 1
Let's see what weapon James Bond gets...
A Riot Shield? Interesting...
Let's see if he gets a Edge or a handicap...
He gets a Edge!
Let's see what his edge is...
A brainwashed Andre Cedeno assists them...
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 14:03:25 GMT 1
Now it's John Wick turn.
Let's see what weapon he gets...
A Blaster Pistol...
Let's see if he gets a edge or a handicap....
A handicap!
Let's see what his handicap is...
Has a volatile bomb that will explode in 5 minutes unless they win the fight...
Oh shit!
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 14:07:01 GMT 1
So to recap the fight is James Bond vs John Wick at a crowded Chucky Cheese
James Bond is armed with a Riot Shield and gets the Legendary internet lolcow Andre Cedeno to assist him.
John Wick gets a Blaster Pistol and is handicap by a collar bomb set to blow in five minutes unless he wins the fight.
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Post by AQUA JAMES! on Mar 6, 2021 15:29:52 GMT 1
I wonder if that riot shield will be enough to block the blaster pistol. Otherwise I gotta give it to Wick.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 16:50:12 GMT 1
This is hard. Assassin v British intelligence
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 16:52:27 GMT 1
John Wick wins by yelling Vesper
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 16:59:11 GMT 1
For anyone who is not familiar with Andre Cedeno, this is who he is:
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 18:30:19 GMT 1
Bond wins. He's like Batman- he always finds a way
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 20:17:45 GMT 1
I wonder if that riot shield will be enough to block the blaster pistol. Otherwise I gotta give it to Wick. Giving how a Blaster bolt goes through storm troopers like they're nothing leads me to believe that a Riot Shield would not be effective against it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 20:20:28 GMT 1
Now it's John Wick turn. Let's see what weapon he gets... A Blaster Pistol... Let's see if he gets a edge or a handicap.... A handicap! Let's see what his handicap is... Has a volatile bomb that will explode in 5 minutes unless they win the fight... Oh shit! Damn it,now this is a hard one but I am giving it to Bond cause he has all kinds of neat toys.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 20:37:00 GMT 1
My take on this fight.
James Bond is at a Chucky Cheese, not sure why because I don't remember him having any children but whatever. At this party he meets up with Andre Cedeno who is also there for some reason as well. He also has access to a Riot Shield.
John Wick, giving his handicap, is probably being forced to hunt down and kill James Bond and had five minutes to do so. He Also somehow got his hands on a Blaster Pistol.
Now the question is can James Bond evade john Wick for five minutes? Because John Wick is a force of nature who will probably go through anyone who is in his way.
Oh and Andre Cedeno won't be much help. In fact I see him getting shot in the head instantly.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 6, 2021 20:38:26 GMT 1
It should be noted that James Bond doesn't have any of his special gear or weapons and equipment.
Bond only has what been rolled for him.
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Post by Loki on Mar 6, 2021 20:53:08 GMT 1
I was about to ask that...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 20:54:51 GMT 1
It should be noted that James Bond doesn't have any of his special gear or weapons and equipment. Bond only has what been rolled for him. In that case Bond will seduce John and just sleep with him 😂
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Post by AQUA CAT! on Mar 6, 2021 22:09:51 GMT 1
My instinct is John Wick is more aggressive. Bond can't give him the runaround if they're trapped indoors. John Wick rushes toward Bond in the crowd. Bond is startled and raises his shield. Wick opens fire, Bond shields, kids scatter, Wick runs out of ammo and they collide in the center of the room. John Wick takes a violent shove with the shield and a few hard body shots before maneuvering himself around Bond and snapping his neck, maybe even wrestling him to the ground to do it. He went right for the kill and it was just too overwhelming, too shocking for a Chuck E Cheese in the middle of the day.
In my head it's Sean Connery's Bond but it could be any of them except maybe Daniel Craig.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2021 23:19:25 GMT 1
I visited my parents the other night and my dad was watching one of the Wick movies on cable. I’ve #NeverSeenIt, but it seemed to literally just be two straight hours of him shooting people with no break in action.
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 7, 2021 14:19:28 GMT 1
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Post by ArArArchStanton on Mar 7, 2021 14:57:43 GMT 1
Let's see what Ellen Ripley weapon going to be... A Blitz ball... well it's a range weapon I guess... Let's see if she rolls a handicap or a edge... She's getting a handicap! Okay what's her handicap... Saw Michael Moore naked and is temporarily blinded for 30 seconds... Alrighty then. Dont know if I’m too late but Conan. He may be regretting his life’s choices but she been blinded by Michael Moore and doesn’t have an airlock. :-)
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Post by ArArArchStanton on Mar 7, 2021 15:01:47 GMT 1
So to recap. It's Hawkeye vs Indiana Jones at a Nightclub. Hawkeye is armed with a trash can lid and had no Handicaps or Edges in the fight. Indiana Jones is armed with a pistol and is handicap by having Andy Dick following him around. Surprisingly Hawkeye. Jones has a pistol and Andy Dick will comically accidentally help him out, but Clint will use his superior skill in the nightclub setting to utilize tables for cover and throw glasses and bottles accurately as hell to slowly bludgeon Indy into submission
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Post by AQUA KEN! on Mar 7, 2021 15:01:53 GMT 1
Let's see what Ellen Ripley weapon going to be... A Blitz ball... well it's a range weapon I guess... Let's see if she rolls a handicap or a edge... She's getting a handicap! Okay what's her handicap... Saw Michael Moore naked and is temporarily blinded for 30 seconds... Alrighty then. Dont know if I’m too late but Conan. He may be regretting his life’s choices but she been blinded by Michael Moore and doesn’t have an airlock. :-) We're actually on the James Bond vs John Wick fight!
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Post by ArArArchStanton on Mar 7, 2021 15:11:28 GMT 1
So to recap the fight is James Bond vs John Wick at a crowded Chucky Cheese James Bond is armed with a Riot Shield and gets the Legendary internet lolcow Andre Cedeno to assist him. John Wick gets a Blaster Pistol and is handicap by a collar bomb set to blow in five minutes unless he wins the fight. This is hard. Bond is quite adept at handling specialized assassins, and Wick of course is the clear the entire building on hard mode guy. Bond has that Riot Shield so it’s going to be hard for John to ever get in a winning shot, especially with Andre in his f’ing face telling him to watch BVS and accusing him of being a Marvel shill when he tells him to shut the F up. That’s just going to get distracting. Him bomb goes off taking out Andre as well, who’s dying words echo through the blast “DC is betterrrrrrrrrrr”
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