Post by AQUA SALZ! on Feb 10, 2024 19:44:12 GMT 1
I posted these years ago, but I recently thought of ’em, and… Well, here they are again: three poems, each in the style of a famous poet, about Admiral Ackbar. You’re welcome. Guesses as to who the parodied poets are more than welcome.
The Anthem of Ackbar
When the sky no more seems starry,
When the dark has routed light,
There is one Mon Calamari
Who will not give up the fight —
Ackbar!
With his skin a striking salmon,
With his fins upon his hips,
With his charts to re-examine,
He commands all Rebel ships —
Ackbar!
Tho’ an Empire of Evil
Has attacked him night and day,
Yet a Force strong and primeval
Still has lighted him the way —
Ackbar!
And so soon shall ev’ry planet,
From cold Hoth to Tatooine,
Cheer with pride this Squid of Granite
Who has brought back peace serene —
Ackbar!
The Witch of Endor
And the king said unto her, Be not afraid: for what sawest thou? And the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth.
Deep, deep in the well of life
stands the tepid water,
sings the tepid water.
Round and round the Mulberry Bush, oh! how it will sing.
It drops through my fingers,
weaving here and there,
landing on dead dust like a dove of mourning.
But not a dove.
Not a dove, not any more.
Let me remember
(if you will have me remember)
that night we waited, without speech, without thought, without even fear.
You and I, we were there, we were here,
we drank a tepid, torrid draught of beer,
waited round the Mulberry Bush for Ewok, for Wookiee.
I said,
‘Good squid, why must – why must we always wait?’
You said, ‘There is coming, coming that great time when all is changed, in but a twinkling of an eye. Aye, then, yea, be ready.’
Not I, not I.
And I shall remember
(if you will have me remember)
the universe spread out like flaccid flesh,
having well forgot the Crèche,
and singing only the song of Corbenic.
Is Percival piercèd so quickly?
Still the chase,
the doctrine of अपने परमानंद का पालन करें.
Is this life after all?
After everything, but just the funereal pall?
You stand upon the bow, athwart withal,
you raise your piscine head
and gaze, like the madman
Was habt ihr getan, ihn zu überwinden?
into despair
and let not it stare back, yea, unlike he, from thee.
And the water works its deafening retreat back up the well, the chase has ceased,
has seen its Redeemer liveth.
As always was, and as will always be,
when the stars reflect in the command module,
and the Dark and the Light are One.
The Adm’ral’s Triumph
Oh, an eastern spacewind’s blowin’,
And we men is scared tonight,
For they say the ad’mral’s slowin’,
And ’is gills is gittin’ white.
Yes, they’re sayin’ ’e hain’t ready,
T’at doddery old chap,
Who don’t ’ave aim that’s steady
And loves to take ’is nap.
Well, we men is whisp’rin’, sneerin’ —
But wait, an ’earty yell
As we notice what’s appearin’
T’at’ll blast us all to ’ell!
It’s a thousand Star Destroyers
And some TIEs to boot,
Comin’ ’ere on our ships’ foyers,
Which – zap! – start in to shoot!
But Ol’ Ackbar don’t look frightened,
Though ’e just yelled, ‘It’s a trap!’
No, ’e don’t no more look whitened,
This fine, fine, fish-faced chap!
Though the odds hain’t in our favour,
We’re fightin’ to be free;
Ol’ Ackbar, ’e won’t waver,
Let’s save the Galaxy!
Oh, we’re fightin’ like a demon,
But when the smoke unclogs,
‘’Old up!’ sez Ackbar, beamin’,
‘We’ve whipped th’ Imper’al dogs!’
Oh, a western spacewind’s blowin’,
All worlds is back on track,
Three cheers, hurrah, fer showin’
There’s none like you, Ol’ Ack!
The Anthem of Ackbar
When the sky no more seems starry,
When the dark has routed light,
There is one Mon Calamari
Who will not give up the fight —
Ackbar!
With his skin a striking salmon,
With his fins upon his hips,
With his charts to re-examine,
He commands all Rebel ships —
Ackbar!
Tho’ an Empire of Evil
Has attacked him night and day,
Yet a Force strong and primeval
Still has lighted him the way —
Ackbar!
And so soon shall ev’ry planet,
From cold Hoth to Tatooine,
Cheer with pride this Squid of Granite
Who has brought back peace serene —
Ackbar!
The Witch of Endor
And the king said unto her, Be not afraid: for what sawest thou? And the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth.
Deep, deep in the well of life
stands the tepid water,
sings the tepid water.
Round and round the Mulberry Bush, oh! how it will sing.
It drops through my fingers,
weaving here and there,
landing on dead dust like a dove of mourning.
But not a dove.
Not a dove, not any more.
Let me remember
(if you will have me remember)
that night we waited, without speech, without thought, without even fear.
You and I, we were there, we were here,
we drank a tepid, torrid draught of beer,
waited round the Mulberry Bush for Ewok, for Wookiee.
I said,
‘Good squid, why must – why must we always wait?’
You said, ‘There is coming, coming that great time when all is changed, in but a twinkling of an eye. Aye, then, yea, be ready.’
Not I, not I.
And I shall remember
(if you will have me remember)
the universe spread out like flaccid flesh,
having well forgot the Crèche,
and singing only the song of Corbenic.
Is Percival piercèd so quickly?
Still the chase,
the doctrine of अपने परमानंद का पालन करें.
Is this life after all?
After everything, but just the funereal pall?
You stand upon the bow, athwart withal,
you raise your piscine head
and gaze, like the madman
Was habt ihr getan, ihn zu überwinden?
into despair
and let not it stare back, yea, unlike he, from thee.
And the water works its deafening retreat back up the well, the chase has ceased,
has seen its Redeemer liveth.
As always was, and as will always be,
when the stars reflect in the command module,
and the Dark and the Light are One.
The Adm’ral’s Triumph
Oh, an eastern spacewind’s blowin’,
And we men is scared tonight,
For they say the ad’mral’s slowin’,
And ’is gills is gittin’ white.
Yes, they’re sayin’ ’e hain’t ready,
T’at doddery old chap,
Who don’t ’ave aim that’s steady
And loves to take ’is nap.
Well, we men is whisp’rin’, sneerin’ —
But wait, an ’earty yell
As we notice what’s appearin’
T’at’ll blast us all to ’ell!
It’s a thousand Star Destroyers
And some TIEs to boot,
Comin’ ’ere on our ships’ foyers,
Which – zap! – start in to shoot!
But Ol’ Ackbar don’t look frightened,
Though ’e just yelled, ‘It’s a trap!’
No, ’e don’t no more look whitened,
This fine, fine, fish-faced chap!
Though the odds hain’t in our favour,
We’re fightin’ to be free;
Ol’ Ackbar, ’e won’t waver,
Let’s save the Galaxy!
Oh, we’re fightin’ like a demon,
But when the smoke unclogs,
‘’Old up!’ sez Ackbar, beamin’,
‘We’ve whipped th’ Imper’al dogs!’
Oh, a western spacewind’s blowin’,
All worlds is back on track,
Three cheers, hurrah, fer showin’
There’s none like you, Ol’ Ack!