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Post by AQUA SALZ! on Apr 28, 2020 21:30:44 GMT 1
Triceratops,
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Post by Grandmaster on Apr 28, 2020 21:31:55 GMT 1
close shaves
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on Apr 28, 2020 21:35:53 GMT 1
I’m certain you’ll be amazed as I was to learn that Fleming Stone reveals that Humphrey Holt is really Aunt Jane in disguise! Why did Aunt Jane disappear to do a drag routine? Well, let Aunt Jane explain it herself:
“[T]he only way I could get Janet’s murderer was to pretend to be a detective and so have an opportunity to investigate. Also, I must pose as a man, for a woman detective is no good, and too, I’d be recognized.”
So the intrepid Aunt Jane plucked her bushy eyebrows, “had a new double set of false teeth made” (quick work!), “got her hair shingled and thinned out” and had her brother, with whom she was staying, coach her “in the matter of manly action” (I told you, don’t ask). And she was able to fool everyone in town once she returned, except Fleming Stone, of course.
I’m sure this makes perfect sense to you too.
The most astounding revelation of all, however, is that the murderer turns out to be Janet’s best friend, that beautiful blonde, Eunice Church. We learn to our horror that Eunice is “almost, if not quite, insane” and that she killed Janet and Stacpoole out of jealousy over their engagement. After Eunice dispatches herself with another hypodermic syringe (such handy things), Fleming Stone is left free to explain his brilliant deductions to the surviving characters:
“Perhaps you’ve noticed [Eunice’s] mannerism of tucking her thumbs into her curled fingers… That is a sure sign of weakness of character, degeneracy, and even criminal tendency. Then, her head is flat at the back. That is positive proof of hatred, revenge and jealousy….[And her ears are] pointed at the top, [with] broad and heavy lobes, and a thin helix…It all points toward a criminal nature… Then her thin lips, her eyes, steel blue at times, though often violet, and her prominent muscular jaw, in spite of her soft chin, all meant homicidal mania that was sure to break out upon provocation.” Wow! Clearly Eunice should have been drowned at birth. Unfortunately for her criminal schemes, she failed to consult Aunt Jane in disguise techniques, and she fell under the the penetrating gaze of Fleming Stone, an obvious student of physiological criminologist Cesare Lombroso.
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Post by Grandmaster on Apr 28, 2020 21:41:49 GMT 1
Shutting down the laptop to join the wife in bed and my spotify decides to play this song...
😳😳😳😳😳
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2020 21:56:48 GMT 1
What's up doc?
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on Apr 28, 2020 21:57:53 GMT 1
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2020 23:07:52 GMT 1
Just like mama used to make!
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Post by AQUA JAR!™ on Apr 29, 2020 4:23:29 GMT 1
and icing is called, there.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2020 4:52:10 GMT 1
If this message should find anyone-Prison food is surprisingly good but, sighs, I have a prison wife now...
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Post by Grandmaster on Apr 30, 2020 9:58:39 GMT 1
Grandmaster picked a colour. Aloe Vera green. Painted my bedroom wall.
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on Apr 30, 2020 18:12:32 GMT 1
Oh, for that time machine.
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2020 4:07:56 GMT 1
علاء الدين هو أفضل فيلم على الإطلاق!
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 1, 2020 4:09:55 GMT 1
علاء الدين هو أفضل فيلم على الإطلاق! Exactly!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2020 4:11:49 GMT 1
علاء الدين هو أفضل فيلم على الإطلاق! Exactly! You like tickling spider bellies too?!
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 1, 2020 4:15:39 GMT 1
The dangers of banana food.
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 2, 2020 4:31:46 GMT 1
Not the Overlook:
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 8, 2020 0:14:49 GMT 1
When I was out walking my dog, I saw a cloud that was shaped like the front end of a bunny combined with the back end of an aeroplane.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2020 1:21:41 GMT 1
karate chop
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 8, 2020 3:16:59 GMT 1
Has no one thought to nickname the good doctor “Grouchy Fauci”?
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2020 5:28:29 GMT 1
Spider-Man's girlfriend's poodle's chew toy
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Post by Grandmaster on May 8, 2020 6:11:06 GMT 1
Shit went down. Vommit went up. What hole to put where.
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Post by AQUA JAR!™ on May 8, 2020 7:05:26 GMT 1
I'll tell you what... that is shocking irony.
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 14, 2020 15:53:58 GMT 1
It’s surprisingly fun to plot Scream movies.
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Post by Grandmaster on May 14, 2020 17:19:02 GMT 1
Winning isnt the only thing.
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 14, 2020 17:25:34 GMT 1
Also:
Sinning
Binning
Pinning
Grinning
Spinning
Tinning
Twinning
Beginning
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2020 21:47:25 GMT 1
Aquaman greeted the surfer with, "What up bro?"
The surfer looked angry and was just about to slap Aquaman but changed his mind. He instead back-handed the King of Atlantis. "Stop stealing our schtick!"
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Post by Grandmaster on May 15, 2020 13:50:48 GMT 1
Weekend is not days in the week. Its a state of mind.
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2020 19:39:16 GMT 1
Get a wiggle on!
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2020 20:37:01 GMT 1
"Keep a man's head underwater until he stops being an arsehole." -Ghandi
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Post by AQUA SALZ! on May 15, 2020 20:48:31 GMT 1
Spider-Man's girlfriend's poodle's chew toy Donald Trump was running against Andrew Cuomo for governor of New York in 2007, and my paper wrote a bad review of Spider-Man’s girlfriend’s performance in a play.
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