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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Apr 24, 2021 10:02:58 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 1: 'Chapter Fifty-Eight: In Memoriam'. {Spoiler}Since this was a very somber, heartfelt tribute to Luke Perry's passing (and with him, the character of Fred Andrews who he played on this show), I will attempt to keep the snark to a minimum. The Jughead voiceover says how the 4th of July is approaching and there's been an Independence Day parade planned (though no fireworks, because Cheryl's family used to sponsor them and the town can't afford them without their support. Really? No one else can pay for fireworks in the town?) - which most displeases Cheryl, who's reading the newspaper to her Jason's rotting corpse (I trust she's done something to cover up the smell?). I'm sad to see that she's still somewhat crazy (well...crazier than 'normal' for her, anyway) and hanging onto that gross disgusting thing she calls a brother. I'm hoping it's not going to take the entire season for her to snap out of it. The core four are painting a float for the parade, when Cheryl comes to give them an earful due to the fact that Jason died on the 4th of July (if you are acknowledging that he died, WHY are you still treating his corpse like he's alive, Cheryl? Seems like a contradiction) and she's mad because she doesn't see what's worth celebrating about the day her brother died. The others explain they've held off having a parade for three years since Jason's death happened out of respect for him, but it's time to move on. I will say that Cheryl looked smashing in the outfit she was wearing during this scene. The colours were really something. She also provided the one funny line in this whole episode, which was in response to Jughead suggesting she stay home if she was so against the parade. That's^ it, as far as amusing moments go, because the next scene is where Archie receives probably the worst phone call he'll ever get. He's in Pop's Veronica's diner with the other three, as they plan a camping trip and discuss the fact that this may be the last chance they get to do anything like this since they'll be preparing for college next year. K.J. Apa played Archie's reaction to hearing the news of his dad's death convincingly. The way he drops his phone, then drops to his knees as his friends rush over to him and the camera tilts - like his world was literally crashing down - sells the moment of hearing something so shocking. The next scene starting with Vegas the dog lying on the floor, looking up and whining/whimpering at the door, waiting for Fred to come home - as Sheriff Jugdad fills in Archie, his mum and those with them on what happened exactly - was something I wasn't prepared for and I actually found quite upsetting, because although all the people in the scene got to understand why Fred wouldn't be there anymore, poor Vegas wouldn't have had any idea/no one could explain it to him. Sheriff Jugdad (struggling to keep it together) says that Fred had stopped to help someone on the side of the road with their car when he was struck by a vehicle speeding past. Archie asks if the driver stopped and when he hears that they didn't, he naturally wants this person found so they can pay for what they did. When this was revealed, I thought it was a bit on-the-nose to make what seemed like it would be a season-long plot point (Archie has to find the person who killed his dad so he can have his revenge!) out of the tragedy of Luke Perry's passing. However, the show actually handled this well, as firstly they wrote Fred dying in such a way that it felt 'in character' - he's totally the sort of person who'd help someone out of the goodness of his heart, so all the characters are of the opinion that of course his final moments alive would involve him doing a good deed. Secondly, although Archie looking for revenge is indeed a plot point this episode, it only lasts for this one episode and isn't dragged out all season long (thankfully), so it didn't feel like the writers were taking advantage of Luke Perry's tragic passing. I wish we could've gotten a scene of Archie talking to Vegas, though. It might sound 'silly' to some (although it shouldn't) to wish for such a thing, but animals feel emotions too and we know that Fred was the one who cared about Vegas more than anyone else (in Archie's own words from the Season 2 premiere). However, I think such a scene might've wrecked me (emotionally), so probably just as well there wasn't one. Once again Veronica proves she's always got her friends' backs, as she is totally prepared to pay whatever amount it costs to have Fred's body brought back home across the state, but as much as she tries to help, she can't change the fact that because it's the holiday, he won't be brought back until July 5th, and of course Archie and his mum want him home before then. What follows is a good scene between Archie and his friends where they reminisce about how Fred played a part in all of their lives. Even Reggie and Kevin have tales about how Fred was such a good person, but the ones that are really telling are Bughead's stories - as both had less-than-stellar dads (Jughead's was drunk and Betty's was never around - possibly off serial killing?), so Fred helped out Jughead with his dad and was Betty's 'father for a day' in the father-daughter potato sack race when she and Archie were in grade school. Alas, reminiscing stirs up many feelings for Archie and he has to retire. Sleep provides no sanctuary, though, as he dreams about his grandpa who leads Archie into a room full of characters he knows (some who're alive in reality and some who have died such as Jason, Jason's dad, Betty's dad). Archie asks where his dad is and his grandpa says he has to go get him. Once he awakes from his dream, he tells Veronica that's exactly what he's going to do. They go to the funeral home and want to have Fred released, but the funeral home director won't allow it because Archie's underage. So he calls his mum, tells her this, and she gets him to put the funeral home director on the phone. Obviously, with Archie's mum being a lawyer she knows what to say to convince the guy to let Archie do what he went there to do. You don't hear a word of what she says, but you can tell from the guy's reactions that she is quite convincing with whatever she tells him. After hanging up, he agrees to let Archie take his dad home, but then Archie asks if he can see him. He is about to, but can't go through with it, so he asks Betty and Veronica to go identify the body and confirm whether or not it is in fact his dad (as it would appear he's at the 'denial' stage of grief, not quite believing that it's actually his dad). They're both such good friends to Archie, and it was a nice moment when Beronica held hands as they slowly walked over to see Fred. Although, for obvious reasons, there's no shot of him, both Lili Reinhart and Camila Mendes totally convey what it's like for their two characters to be looking at the body of their friend's dear friend's dad (who was also a dear friend to them). When they return, they confirm it is indeed Archie's dad, and from his reaction it looks like he was still holding out hope that it wasn't. Back home, Cheryl and Toni are talking to Archie's mum and I'm not sure if it's Cheryl who's extremely emotional or Madelaine Petsch...or a mix of both, but Cheryl appears to really be feeling deep sadness, as she knows what it's like to lose a loved one (though I'm not sure everyone knows what's it's like to talk to a loved one's body that you're hanging out with and treating like it's still alive, Cheryl). Anyway, this is in stark contrast to how she was at the beginning of the episode, as she says she'd like to do something for both Archie and Mary upon Archie's return with Fred's body. There were a lot of obviously grieving actors/actresses in this episode who I'm sure weren't just playing characters mourning the character of Fred, but were also mourning Luke Perry (and being filmed as they did so, which can't be easy). Everyone does a good job, but Madelaine Petsch's emotion during this scene was one of the instances that really got to me. It was almost like a gut-punch. As nasty as Cheryl can be at times, she's clearly someone who does feel emotions (sometimes more than others), so it makes sense that although we didn't really see her interact with Fred much, she'd still feel his loss (mixed with her own feelings of losing Jason) very much. Back with the core four, they've gone to retrieve Fred's truck that is still on the side of the road and Archie hesitantly gets in, then finds a photo of his dad and mum in the glove box. What follows was totally a surprise to me, as I hadn't been spoiled for it. A woman approaches and I wondered if it was someone I'd recognise, it took me a minute, but then when they showed her in closeup I realised it was Shannen Doherty - who, of course, was Luke Perry's co-star in 90210. She's playing the person who Fred helped on the side of the road. She talks about how no one else stopped to help her, how Fred was talking about Archie the whole time and on top of everything else, he saved her life by getting her out of the way of the vehicle speeding past and that's what caused his death. Again, this was another instance where it felt like the person playing the character was equal parts playing their character's grief mixed in with their own. Clearly, Shannen Doherty knew Luke Perry well and I'm sure this was very hard for her, but in a way it allowed her to say goodbye too. What I was super-surprised about (but very happy to see) was her character asking the others if they would join her in saying a prayer for Fred. First of all, I was very relieved to see none of the characters say anything negative about praying, as that seems to happen on a great many shows these days (there always has to be some character who's anti-religious and rants about it). And secondly, it was nice to see characters being portrayed as religious and not in a cartoonish over-the-top sort of way or in any other negative fashion. It seems like such a rare thing to see in shows nowadays. It was a nice scene, and Shannen Doherty did a lot with her one scene in the show. It didn't feel cheap or like it was just an excuse to have her in the series. It was a very lovely, well-thought-out scene that contributed to the story. Later at a diner ( not Pop's Veronica's diner), Archie is struggling with knowing his dad did a good thing by stopping/helping/saving the woman by the side of the road, but a part of him is angry about it. Especially the fact that his dad died on the side of the road without any of his family or friends there. The other three try to ease their friend's pain by saying Fred died a hero (which he did), but it's all too much for Archie, so he goes outside and that's when he receives a call from Sheriff Jugdad who tells him that they got the guy who killed Fred...but he's been released. I'm not sure what Sheriff Jugdad was thinking, doing this. I mean, on the one hand, he was doing what he thought was right (letting Archie know), but saying the guy's name just gives Archie the means to track him down (which he does, after looking him up in the phone book at a payphone and ripping out the page). Surely Sheriff Jugdad should've realised Archie wasn't emotionally stable at this point and maybe it would've been better for him to wait until they all returned home before telling him the guy's name. Anyway, Archie arrives at the guy's place, bangs on his door repeatedly, and when the guy answers the door, Archie checks it's who he's looking for...then proceeds to slam him against the wall with his arm over the guy's throat. When the guy tries to calm him down, making the mistake of saying the word 'son', Archie punches the wall and says he doesn't get to call him that since he took away the one person in the world who did get to call him that. Then suddenly a teen (the guy's son) appears and tearily explains that his dad is just covering for him, as it was he who took the car out (without even having a driver's license) and caused Fred's death, then drove off because he was scared. This^ is what convinces Archie to leave them both alone, as he sees the two of them hugging after he's released the dad. Archie's friends arrive, he fills them in on what he's learned and lets them know his reason for being so understanding about it is because it sounded like something he would've done (he confesses to having taken his dad's truck out when he shouldn't have in the past) and his dad would've taken the blame just like the guy took the blame for his son. This leads to Archie feeling guilty, saying how his dad would be ashamed of him for going after the guy out of revenge, but Veronica has a good talk with him about how that would not be the case. After that, they drive Fred home and meet Sheriff Jugdad at the town's boarder, where he offers to give Fred a police escort (like he deserves). Archie agrees and as they enter Riverdale, it appears the entire town has come out with flags and signs showing their love/appreciation for Fred Andrews and support for Archie. Despite it being under sad circumstances, people are waving their flags and smiling supportively for him...except for that one member of the Pretty Poisons who I now think should be referred to as 'Ravencrow Neversmiles', since she appears like she couldn't be less happy to be their showing her support. Other than that, it's a nice scene. They arrive home with Fred, Archie's mum hugs him and then the next scene is the funeral. Josie's singing 'Amazing Grace', and although the whole town isn't there, all the important characters are. I can only imagine how hard it must've been for the actors/actresses to play a scene of a character being buried who was played by an actor whose funeral they probably attended in real life. Once again, Cheryl's/Madelaine Petsch's raw emotion that she displays kills me, as it seems it's really hit her harder than a lot of the others. Of course, Archie is the one most affected and he delivers a nice speech about his dad, saying how he was the greatest man he ever knew and how it hurts him that he never got to say goodbye. Kudos to everyone in this scene for having to act out what I'm sure were very real emotions. After the service, Veronica learns that her dad paid the bill for everything. Then comes a scene I wasn't expecting, and I thought was very effective. While Archie's dad has received a (well-deserved) hero's funeral, the grave of Betty's dad has been vandalised in a very end-of- Carrie-the-movie sort of way. There's junk lying everywhere, which Betty clears away, and she mourns her dad alone. I felt so bad for Betty. Her dad was a terrible human being, but for Betty he was still her dad, and unlike with Archie's dad, it appears no one else will be mourning him (it was quite the contrast). Lili Reinhart sold the hell out of this scene. This show doesn't often do 'subtle' (or even seem to know what the word means), but in this instance they managed to do it (and do it well). After Archie's asked Jughead to write his dad's obituary, we hear it via Jughead voiceover and it's a nice tribute. We see various characters reading it and one I wasn't counting on seeing reacting to it was Hermione, who's in her orange prison jumpsuit and sobbing. Marisol Nichols didn't even get to utter a word in the episode and is only shown onscreen for a very brief moment, but she totally made the most of her appearance. She was another one whose emotions onscreen got to me. Archie and his friends gather in his back yard at night and prepare to let off fireworks (which, presumably, Cheryl has paid for just like she arranged the town-wide tribute to Fred). The final scene of the episode features Archie in the garage which his dad soundproofed so he could practice his music back in Season 1 and we're treated to some archive footage of Fred Andrews and moments he spent with his son. Archie, who's been barely holding it together all episode, finally breaks down and lets all of his grief come out as he leans on the jalopy they fixed up together. After the episode ends, there's a loving tribute to Luke Perry. I must say, not since probably the 100th episode of Smallville have I watched an episode deal with the death of parent character in such a way that I found it effective on an emotional level. I wondered how this series was going to handle Luke Perry's passing/writing out the character of Fred, and I think they put together a really fitting, well-conceived send-off to both the actor and character he portrayed. It was heartfelt and very respectful (like I'd hoped for). This show gets a lot of crap from people, but occasionally the showrunners prove they're capable of telling a good story, as they did in this instance. The episode flew by, though featured no real 'action' or anything, was just people dealing with their grief in a believable way and that was enough. I'm not sure we'll ever get another episode that carries this much emotion ever again and I fully expect the show to return to its usual batshit craziness for the remainder of the season, but it was nice to take a break from all that and just deal with a very 'real'/'human' story about a son losing his dad. This might seem 'blasphemous' to some, but I was never a fan of the episode titled 'The Body' from Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. To me it always felt out-of-place on that show and it had no impact on me whatsoever, whereas this one felt sincere and satisfying whilst also being very sad. Major kudos to everyone who contributed to this perfect send-off for a much-beloved character and even more beloved actor. RIP Luke Perry.
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Apr 28, 2021 10:08:38 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 2: 'Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fast Times at Riverdale High'. {Spoiler}Voiceover Jughead says how Archie’s getting back to normal after his dad’s funeral, then looks over at the core four...including himself. Trippy. Even trippier? The other Jughead seems to look back at him. Voiceover Jughead also says they had dinner at Pop's every night - can they really afford to eat out every night? Didn't some of them have money troubles? Anyway, with two months having passed since the funeral, now Archie has an excuse to be not so down (whereas if this episode had picked up right after the funeral, the way Archie's acting here would've been weird). He's now good buds with Mad Dog and suggests he enroll in Riverdale High (no! Stay away from that place, Mad Dog! Many people have died there! Then again, you took on a whole bunch of guards at juvie, and therefore can likely handle yourself, so probably no need to worry). Betty's FBI agent half-brother, Charles (does Sheriff Jugdad even know about his son being not-dead yet?), informs her that her uncover informant mum hasn't checked in, which worries Betty. Veronica is meeting with her family's lawyer about the trials for both her parents, recommending she issue a statement of support, but she has nothing to say (and if she did, it probably wouldn't be anything very nice). Meanwhile, Cheryl is asking her rotting corpse of a brother what outfit she should wear (oh, Cheryl. Though considering what she wears is pretty dang nice, apparently dead people have excellent taste). Naturally, this being Riverdale, it's not long before there's shirtlessness and both Varchie and Bughead are gettin' it on (I hope Veronica will make sure to clean her place well after this. Or maybe she'll just have Smithers do it? Isn't it a bit weird to be having sex with your b/f at the same time/in the same place as your BFF and her b/f are having sex? Not in Riverdale, it ain't!). Sadly, no foursome (for those hoping for such a thing). Of course, then the following morning they're all late to their first day of senior year, and as they run through the school halls to class they're abruptly stopped by the new principal called 'Mr. Honey' (just when I think this show can't come up with any more ridiculous name for characters...they prove me wrong) and he's played by Kerr Smith (congrats! Your character's last name is almost as bizarre as your r/l first name!). He maintains that this year is going to be 'different' now that he's running the show. So...does that mean no more allowing students to hang other students upside down and drop them to their death whilst at the same time getting hung up on petty squabbles between students? No, instead he will be the one getting into petty squabbles with students (in this case Cheryl) over the back-to-school dance, which he has cancelled even though she explains that people need it to 'heal', just like it helped her do after Jason's death (yet you're still talking to his corpse, Cheryl, so I wouldn't say you've fully 'healed' yet). Mr. Honey will not be swayed. Cheryl's not the only one having problems. Just as the football coach is telling Reggie that he's his #1 Guy or whatever, Archie introduces Mad Dog (we learn his real name is Munroe) to the coach. Reggie immediately sees he's got competition for being the best guy on the team and takes an instant disliking to him because of it. At the same time Kevin is apologising for being such a shitty friend to Betty last season (even before he got involved with the cult farm). Understandably, she's not in a rush to forgive/trust him, but says she's willing to give him a chance. I think I'd read somewhere about Sam Witwer being in this show, but had forgotten about it, so it came as a surprise when he turned up in the episode. Here he's playing 'Mr. Chipping' (giving off his usual whiff of underlying evil), who was apparently so impressed with a short story Jughead wrote for a contest (though he didn't win), he wants him to come study writing at his prestigious private school, Stonewall Prep. Of course, Jughead's 'too cool' for that and declines. Veronica reckons she's a shoe-in for Harvard, but then she and Archie are ambushed by paparazzi who bombard her with questions about her parents trials. Thinking quickly, she pulls the fire alarm which crowds the hall with students, allowing the two of them to escape the paparazzi (though I'm sure the fire brigade won't be too pleased about being called out for a false alarm). At football practice, as expected, Munroe kicks Reggie's arse (metaphorically-speaking), then Reggie's dad looks like he wants to kick his son's arse literally, but instead just gives him an earful for ALL to hear. Dude, if you're going to verbally abuse your son, at least be less obvious about it. Then again, no one but Archie seems to notice this each time it happens. Great job, coach! And it's not just the coach who is a questionable member of the school staff, as apparently the new principal has not only done nothing to keep paparazzi from getting into the school, but he also hasn't done anything to ensure that peeping toms can't gain access to the girls' locker rooms - which Veronica discovers when she catches one taking photos of her in there, though she assumes he was just wanting nude pics of all the girls. In actuality, he was paid by a reporter to score a photo of Veronica. The girls surround him, Veronica shoves him against the lockers and basically says if she catches him again, she's going to do to him what she did to his camera (I can't believe some people thought they were being too 'harsh' with the guy. Oh, yes, poor pervert being intimidated by the girls he was photographing without their consent). Things aren't going much better in the guys' locker room, as Reggie's picking fights with Munroe and yet again Archie is the only one actually doing anything about trying to keep the peace. What a great coach these footballers have! He really seems to care about his players (NOT). Elsewhere, Betty's stumbled upon a file of Charles's that says he's been surveilling Kevin, which she didn't know about/is none-too-pleased to discover. He thinks Kevin's still tight with the cult farm, as he's been itching to meet with Fangs who's still among them, so this could be used to their advantage. His plan is for Betty to purposely 'accidentally' slip some fake intel to see if Kevin plays the good little disciple and reports it to Fangs when they meet. The only one who isn't having a tough time (he's just choosing to make things difficult) is, of course, Jughead - due to the fact that when he gets home, he finds his dad is talking to Mr. Chipping, who just will not give up on Jughead (wow, his short story must've been AMAZING). He basically has to be dragged kicking and screaming into accepting Chipping's offer to give him a tour of the school, hoping that'll make him change his mind. In Gothicville (aka where Cheryl lives), Toni's using a candelabra to light her way (I'm surprised Cheryl didn't freak out and rant at her, "Hey! Candelabras are MY thing!") and almost catches Cheryl chatting with her brother's rotting corpse, but she stops her and says she's just been praying to find out a way to deal with Mr. Honey (Cheryl should really have some better security - lest someone find her brother's rotting corpse. I'm guessing she's done something about the smell, since Toni doesn't get a whiff of stinkiness down there). She's decided that since he banned the back-to-school dance, she's going to host one (so...that'd make it a back-to-Cheryl's dance?). 'Archie's Party' by the band The Archies plays as she hands out invites at school (now, WHY can't we get the original version of their song 'Sugar, Sugar' in the show rather than the bastardized version we got during Season 1?). Bughead arrive for their tour of the school that's just itching to have Jughead join them after his apparently life-altering short story he wrote, and there they meet Bret, who will not being calling Jughead 'Jughead' (instead calling him 'Forsythe' - which I keep forgetting is Jughead's actual first name) and waffles on about the place before Mr. Chipping shows up and invites Jughead to join a discussion of Moby Dick the following day. Bret extends the invitation to Betty, but she's had enough of this and is like, "Y'all are so obviously super-weird here, so I'm gonna goooo..." (smart Betty!). Mr. Honey, who just keeps looking worse and worse (making me appreciate the previous principal in the process), seems more concerned with the fact that he's heard claims from an unnamed source at Veronica's speakeasy that she is responsible for the crimes her dad's been accused of (probably because Hiram said exactly that. Just when you think he can't be a more pathetic Mafia boss, he goes and tells the press, "*I* didn't do all those bad things...my teenager daughter did!") than he is with the fact that people keep getting into the school who really shouldn't be able to. Priorities! As per Charles' plan, Betty purposely 'accidentally' lets slip info to Kevin about someone in the cult farm who is willing to come forward and spill the beans on their whole operation - this has all been made up by Charles, and he's proven right about his suspicions of Kevin still being involved with the cult farm, as he immediately blabs this info to Fangs when they meet in the woods. Fangs is pretty wary of Kevin and wants a name, whereas Kevin just wants his b/f back. Once Fangs nicks off, Betty shines a torch in Kevin's face and is all like, "Gotcha, traitor!". At Veronica's speakeasy, she wonders who the anonymous source was that gave out info to the press about her being guilty of her dad's crimes. She asks Reggie, but he says it wasn't him. He's also sporting a black eye and it's pretty obvious how he got it (I wondered how Veronica didn't immediately know something was up when Reggie was wearing sunglasses inside. What, did she think he'd become blind overnight?). When she's next in bed with Archie, she informs him of Reggie's black eye that he so obviously got from his dad. That probably killed Archie's mood, so no sexytimes for Varchie that night, I guess. Betty and her half-bro cross-examine Kevin, who maintains all he wants is some Fangs-lovin', as he has nothing left (well, you had Betty until you betrayed her, jerk). Betty wants to give him a chance to prove himself, but Charles is opposed to that. At football practice, once again Reggie has his arse handed to him by Munroe and his dad verbally abuses him so everyone can hear (yet the coach still does/says nothing about it). Only Archie decides to stick up for Reggie, telling off his dad, but then Reggie gets defensive and tells Archie to mind his own beeswax. It's only when he starts fighting with Archie that the coach (finally!) does anything (along with Munroe). Where was that concern for your players before, coach? Jughead attends the Moby Dick discussion...and dear lord, could they be more pretentious? Jughead's finally found his people! There's a stark contrast between that place and Riverdale High's classes being Dullsville snoozefests, which Betty later observes. She can totally tell Jughead's not feeling 'fulfilled', so after he walks out during the middle of class and she follows him (the teacher doesn't say a word about it, but since she's so focused with droning on about whatever snooze-worthy subject, it's no surprise. Honestly, students walking out during the middle of class is probably the least weird thing going on at that school), she encourages him to go to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, saying they'll make things between them 'work'. I'm always amused to see Veronica pull out her blonde wig, sunglasses and headscarf disguise, as she does here when going to visit her dad in jail. He says he's refusing to pay for Veronica's crimes (ie. his crimes) and that's why he let everyone know she really truly is a Lodge at heart. At the back-to-Cheryl's party, she declares to everyone that Mr. Honey is their enemy and I think she even says she's going to 'behead' the principal (in this show, you never know if they mean things like that metaphorically or literally). Two things I noticed during this scene were Cheryl's dress - which she wears very well (dead people should pick out everyone's outfits!) - and the fact that Jughead, Betty and Veronica are dressed in red, yellow & blue. It just immediately caught my eye and made me randomly think "Superman colours!". Apparently Cheryl still hasn't set up better security to keep people from stumbling upon her brother's rotting corpse, as Reggie almost does so. She tells him off and we see the best she can manage in hiding her corpse of a brother is to throw a white sheet over him. Even more crazy is that Betty and Kevin chat in Cheryl's bedroom whilst sitting on her extravagant bed. I highly doubt they got permission to do that, which means they're either very stupid or very brave to risk being caught there. Betty decides to trust Kevin and (rather foolishly) tells him everything, including the stuff about her mum being an undercover informant at the cult farm. She's crossing her fingers that he doesn't blab this to Fangs when he next meets with him, as she wants Kevin to tell Fangs that the witness who's going to testify against the cult farm is Penelope Blossom. Yet again, Reggie tries to pick a fight with Munroe, and he asks Cheryl if she even knows the guy, but while she doesn't, she's less opposed to him being at the party than she is to drunk Reggie being there. Nothing kills a party faster than the sheriff showing up, which is exactly what Sheriff Jugdad does, as he's had a noise complaint (though Cheryl points out there's no neighbours around other than deaf and dead people) and she's informed that Mr. Honey was the one who complained (so begins her plans for revenge). Archie seems to be going for sainthood, as he rescues Reggie from being arrested by Sheriff Jugdad after he offers to go get the sheriff a drink (though Sheriff Jugdad seems more concerned with bogus noise complaints than underage drinking. The only one he really cares enough about to tell them they shouldn't be drinking is Jughead, who tips out the contents of his cup). Archie and Reggie have a heart-to-heart talk about Reggie's dad, and Archie's dad is brought up in the conversation since he was the complete opposite to Reggie's dad. Reggie's also apparently thought about his own dad dying in place of Archie's dad. Archie wants to help Reggie, who tells him he's already done enough by calling out his dad for his crap behaviour, so now he has to take care of the rest. It was good to see these two characters having a decent scene together, and also nice to see there's some actual depth to Reggie...then he goes and pulls a Ferris Bueller's Day Off on his dad's car (okay, so maybe Reggie's not that deep). When he next talks about his dad with Archie, he says that they reached an understanding or whatever (though it kind of sounds like Reggie possibly offed his dad). When Veronica's getting ready to leave her place, she's greeted by a mob of paparazzi as she opens her door, which she then slams shut before composing herself and reopening the door to say she will grant them ONE, and only one, interview at her speakeasy. But first they have to sit down, shut up and watch her performance of 'All That Jazz' from Chicago, which she performs with several girls (I recognised Cheryl and Toni, and thought one may have been Betty, but then I realised that was incorrect. It was just some other blonde). I actually quite enjoyed this performance (then again, I enjoy the movie version of Chicago). I just really like that song and Camila Mendes did a fine job singing it, I thought. When the performance is over, she answers the paparazzi's questions (saying she did illegal things under duress from her dad) and when asked as to which parent she's standing with, she basically says "They both suck, so I choose me!". The following day she informs Archie she's ditching the last name of 'Lodge' and using her mum's maiden name of 'Gomez'. If you were really not siding with either parent, Veronica, you wouldn't use your mum's last name either. Make one up instead! What's a good last name that goes with 'Veronica'? Something that rhymes with ‘Lars’, perhaps? Betty's step-bro is rethinking saying he wanted her to cut Kevin loose, and Betty's all like, "Well, good news...I didn't! *cough* And I also told him mum is an informant.*cough*", but before Charles can really let loose with his admonishing her for taking such a risk, Kevin shows up and says Fangs told him where the cult farm are now taking up residence - an abandoned hotel behind the maple barrens. Also...Edgar has guns. Lots of guns. No, this doesn't sound dodgy at all. As revenge against Mr. Honey for ruining her party, Cheryl has left him a little gift in his office in the form of a beehive. I'm just picturing Cheryl decked out in full beekeeping gear (of course, it'd be red) and carrying that thing into school. See, Mr. Honey? Your lax security has worked against you! Jughead's all dressed up to go to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness...except he's still wearing that stupid beanie of his - I can't WAIT to watch that thing burn when we catch up to the flashforward of Spring Break where Archie tosses it on the bonfire. Speaking of, the flashforward to that time period we get at the end of this episode involves everyone and their dog out searching for Jughead in the woods at night, calling out his name and making so much noise that it's not like they'd be able to hear him even if he did answer. Earlier in the episode, Sheriff Jugdad had said how Jughead's grandpa attended the school he's now going to (for a little while, anyway), but then he disappeared. Hmm, this bodes well. Episode 3: 'Chapter Sixty: Dog Day Afternoon'. {Spoiler} Mad Dog Munroe is basically pulling his kid brother by his ear, admonishing him for hanging out with lowlifes at the arcade, and then he asks Archie when they're going to get on with turning the boxing gym into a community centre like they'd planned to do at the end of last season. Archie's like, "Well, sorry my dad dying took up all my attention, Mad Dog, but I'll get right on that, okay?". Jughead’s starting at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, his dad and sister are there along with Betty, and Sheriff Jugdad knows Bughead need some alone time, so he quickly gets Jugsis out of there as Bughead say goodbye while maintaining that being at separate schools won't cause any problems for their relationship whatsoever (riiiight). Meanwhile, Veronica has decided not to follow my suggestion of picking a last name for herself that rhymes with 'Lars' and is sticking with her mum's maiden name of 'Gomez'. Archie wants her to accompany him to the boxing gym, as he's meeting with someone about turning it into a community centre. She agrees to go...but not before SEX! At the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, Jughead finds (to his surprise) that he's going to be roommates with Moose (who we haven't seen since he left Kevin and decided to "Duh, stay out of Riverdale!"). Moose insists on being called 'Marmaduke' now (this is one instance where the nickname is less weird than the character's actual first name) because he doesn't want anyone at the school to know all the stuff he and his dad were involved with/he wants to start fresh. Jughead promises to keep his secret, but Bret (who Jughead met last episode when he was going on his tour of the school) is listening in and he doesn't seem like the type who can be trusted with keeping such things a secret (maybe it's his Draco Malfoy-esque look/demeanor?). Betty, who it seems is now an honorary member of the FBI (since Jughead's basically part of the police force, working alongside his dad, it's not that out of the ordinary - at least not in Riverdale), continues working with her half-bro, Charles, in trying to bring down the cult farm. Even though we don't even see him, I felt a bit sorry for the undercover agent posing as a pizza delivery guy who Edgar’s daughter/wife, Evelyn, immediately realises something is off with, a scuffle ensues and then several gunshots can be heard (what if the dude was an actual pizza delivery guy who just got the wrong address?). Since the now-dead undercover agent was wearing a wire, Edgar uses it to taunt Betty's half-bro and is now sounding like he's in full-on evil mode. It also seems like there's something evil going on at Cheryl's place, as Choni are interrupted mid-makeout session by noises, and when they go to investigate, Cheryl's creepy grandma is standing by the fireplace and rambling about 'triplets' burning in a fire, whilst thinking Cheryl is Penelope. Hmm, last season we saw Betty 'hallucinate' her niece and nephew being dropped into a fire, and now Cheryl's creepy grandma is ranting about similar things. After Cheryl explained who she was and that the twins were asleep/safe, I was half-expecting there to be a cut to something suspicious-looking burning in the fireplace. I guess this show will never actually 'go there' (they just settle for mentioning such things). Archie, Veronica and Munroe are filled in on what's involved with turning the boxing gym into a community centre and it's like Archie's only just now learning that places need things such as safety inspections and a second bathroom, etc. He's all, "Hmm, that sounds like it might be expensive." (which it is - WHO KNEW?), so Veronica offers to pay, but he doesn't want anymore handouts, so then her next idea combines her two favourite things - shirtless guys and making LOTS of money. Cue shirtless carwash scene, though (disappointingly) Veronica keeps her shirt on. Alas, she overestimated the 'financial pull of (Archie's) pectorals' (you know, if it'd been guys and girls doing the carwash whilst wearing barely anything, you might've earned twice as much, Veronica). I was amused that yet again Archie required clarification about money - in this case when Veronica says they made "a little over four", he asks, "Grand?" (no, Archie, $400). They then brainstorm other ways to make money and Veronica wants to see them reenact the final scene of The Full Monty, but none of them seem to be on board with that (really, all her suggestions just seem to involve guys getting their kit off. That's her solution to everything - just like Archie's solution to everything is his fists). Betty receives a call from Edgar, who's gone from peaceful cult leader who harvests organs to full-on evil beardo making demands for fake passports, money, food, water and a bus after mentioning to Betty how he started cutting off fingers of his disciples and that's when he learned Alice was an undercover informant. In comparison to that, Jughead's problems don't seem so important, as Bret is reading his story in front of everyone who proceed to kiss his arse while only Jughead smirks at it. Bret encourages him to share his thoughts on the story, saying he can handle any criticism, but then when Jughead does criticise his story, Bret proves he can't handle criticism and attacks Jughead's story about 'Goblin Kings' as payback. He's basically saying that Jughead's story isn't at all believable. Jughead should totally take him to Riverdale and he could achieve two things - 1) prove that everything he wrote was real (since spending even the briefest time in that town would allow anyone to see exactly what sort of craziness goes on there) and 2) hopefully Bret would get taken out by whatever maniac is running around in Riverdale at the present time (as there always seems to be one). Alas, all Jughead does is threaten (after Bret insults him) and Mr. Chipping eventually intervenes, saying the school has a 'zero tolerance for fighting' (why do I get the feeling they'll be fully tolerant of other shady shit, though?). Someone else who isn't getting along with a new person they've met is Cheryl, who wonders WTF some random dude is doing in her house, but turns out he's a night nurse that Toni hired (from online - always totally reliable, I'm sure) to help take care of the place, Cheryl's creepy grandma, the twins, etc. Cheryl reluctantly allows him to stay, but FORBIDS him from going down to the basement (where she's secretly keeping the rotting corpse of her dead brother, Jason). WHEN will characters in this show learn that forbidding/banning things just makes other characters want to investigate them more? Jughead walks in on Moose (I'm refusing to call him 'Marmaduke') and one of the girls from his group (her name's Donna) gettin' it on. Moose points out the sock on the doorknob, but apparently Jughead didn't notice. Donna warns him that Bret is a 'diplobrat' (son of a diplomat) and someone to watch out for, as instead of getting payback with his fists, he's all about 'psychological' warfare and isn't afraid to play dirty. After she leaves, Jughead's confused by Moose and is like, "Wait...didn't you like guys? What're you doing with a girl? Does. Not. Compute." and Moose has to explain that he's bi. Bughead's better half is having a lot rougher time, as Edgar's being a dick again over the phone, he tells Betty he's already released a hostage after she asks him to, then that hostage turns out to be her sister, Polly...with a bomb strapped to her. While Charles and the rest of the FBI are probably thinking "Return to sender! RETURN TO SENDER!", Betty's the only one who seems to be remaining relatively calm. While some people might've questioned these supposedly skilled FBI agents getting a 'teen' civilian to do their job, the fact that Polly is panicking means probably the only one who won't set her off is her sister. She's got a 'dead man's switch', which means if she lets go of it... BOOM (along with probably the rest of the room). As is usually the way with these sorts of situations, the person defusing the bomb is instructed to cut a certain wire (in this case, the yellow wire), which Betty does, but then she's like, "Uhh...why is this thing still ticking down and at a faster speed?". While I knew Betty wouldn't die, I was half-expecting Charles to grab her and pull her away just as Polly went BOOM, splattering Betty with sister bits...but instead Betty has her trusty bobby pin in her hair (bobby pins - is there anything they can't do?), which she uses to replace the pin Edgar removed from the trigger. The sisters, but especially Polly, look like they almost shat their pants (not that I blame them. I actually felt some tension during this scene, so kudos to the show for that). Compared to this^, Jughead and the other members of his group being given the task to write an ending to a murder mystery where the murderer's identity is revealed (they'll read out all their versions of the ending and vote for a winner) isn't that thrilling. Hell, it probably wouldn't be interesting even if it hadn't just followed a bomb-defusing scene. Another storyline the fails to live up to the excitement of the bomb-defusing is Munroe's kid brother getting jumped by those same lowlifes he warned him about (maybe he'll listen to his big brother next time?) at the arcade, and now Munroe wants to make them pay, calling on Archie to go help him do that...but Archie thinks maybe there's a better way to handle this that doesn't involve using their fists (WTH? This isn't Archie, it's got to be some strange, non-violent version of him who's taken the real Archie's place!). Apparently the lowlifes' boss is called 'Dodger' (oh, Jughead and his group would've had a great time discussing that) and Archie says he'll inform Sheriff Jugdad/let the police handle it. What sort of intelligent, mature, reasonable person is this? 'Cause it's certainly not Archie Andrews. Polly, who seems to have finally gotten out from under the thrall of Edgar (about damn time! I guess becoming a suicide bomber against your will will do that to a person), warns Betty that Edgar can't be stopped and they should do what he says or he's going to start sacrificing the people from his cult farm and Alice, if she's even still alive, will likely be one of the first to go. Betty then asks Veronica if she can help get the money Edgar's demanded, but $250,000 is a LOT and Veronica's not an ATM (though you were willing to give Archie $40,000, Veronica, and since he doesn't want it...it could've at least helped Betty out a bit). Instead, she says Betty can take all her dad's 'Glamourge eggs' - like the one Choni stole last season - which should fetch a pretty penny. Toni is able to score the fake passports, and then Betty drives the bus with all the stuff Edgar demanded to his cult farm, asks where her mum is, but he just blathers on, spouting crazy cult crap before Evelyn (who's competing with Jughead for most pretentious headwear, as she's sporting a béret) clobbers Betty from behind, knocking her out. It should also be mentioned that on top of going full-blown crazypants, Edgar now feels the need to have his shirt open, showing off his torso. I guess whoever wrote this episode wanted to give the CMM fans one more look at his abs...since it'll be the last chance they'll get to admire them (spoiler!). You know, Jughead and his lame tormenter just can't compare with Betty's whole storyline she's got going on. Bret annoys/taunts Jughead and then makes the mistake of insulting his family and he starts getting physical with the jerk, but refrains from giving him a well-deserved pummeling, saying he should try "writing compelling drama instead of starting it" - the 'drama' you two were starting wasn't that compelling, Jug. Neither is Veronica finding her dad in his study (he claims he can just come and go from 'his' prison as he pleases), as he's pissed at Veronica wanting to change her last name and proceeds to tell her a non-compelling story about how his actual name was originally 'Jaime (pronounced 'Hymie') Luna' and he was given a hard time, so he wanted to change it, which pissed his dad off that he beat him. So, that was the birth of 'Hiram Lodge'. Doesn't this just illustrate that objecting to Veronica changing her name makes you a hypocrite, Hiram/Jaime? He says changing her name won't work (because she'll "always be a Lodge") just like changing the locks won't work, because nothing can keep him out. And the other non-compelling storyline going on in this episode is Archie getting into an argument with his mum over the community centre, as she makes actual valid points for getting out of Riverdale, but he won't listen and even uses his dad's death against her (low blow, Archibald), then decides to go all masked vigilante on the lowlifes' arses with his trusty baseball bat (but can it DEFUSE BOMBS?). He's outnumbered, but somehow manages to beat them all up with his face, then takes the money he needs for the community centre renovations, but Munroe's equal parts pissed he didn't get in on the action and that the money is 'dirty'. Archie then wants Veronica to do something about it being dirty money (I wonder if he took what Munroe said literally and he's just expecting Veronica to put it in the washing machine to clean it?), but she suggests he get rid of it. So, you'll involve Veronica in your crimes, Archie, but not accept her offer to pay for the community centre renovations? You're so crazy! Not as crazy at Edgar, though, as he's tied up Betty, who is finally reunited with her mum...who's also tied up. And so follows the craziest exchange I think I've heard in this show (and that is REALLY saying something), in which Alice informs her daughter of Edgar's plan... Just let that^ whole exchange sink it, process it, then accept this is the world of Riverdale (Betty doesn't even ask any follow-up questions such as, "Wait...do you literally mean Edgar's going to take off in a rocket ship...to space??"). Compared to Edgar's whole scenario, Cheryl seems like only the second craziest person in the episode, as she goes down to the basement for one of her regularly scheduled reading sessions with her brother's rotting corpse...and thinks he's been moved from where she last saw him. This leads to her firing the night nurse, after she learns he went into the basement against her orders - though I think if he'd discovered Jason, he would've been reacting along the lines of "WTF?!". Then again, maybe night nurses in Riverdale have seen everything this crazy town has to offer and nothing shocks them anymore? Either way, she sends him packing with an angry version of her usually-cheery "Toodles!". He's probably better off getting out of there anyway. Back with the most batshit crazy storyline of the episode, Evelyn says "Those bitches." (takes one to know one!) after she finds Betty and Alice missing, then receives payback for clobbering Betty by getting clobbered in the head herself (how I wish Betty would've gone all 'Archie' on her and kept clobbering like he did with the bear man in last season's final). Sadly, Betty appears to allow Evelyn to keep breathing, but I loved the fact that she stole her outfit and béret (not that it'll disguise her much, since technically everyone should know what Betty looks like, but it's fun to think of her just doing something petty like stealing Evelyn's béret simply to tick her off when she eventually awakes). Betty and Alice, who look kick-arse as they're walking together, attempt to get everyone on the bus so they can escape, but Fangs recognises Betty and tries to out her - so she shuts him up with a fist to the face (go Betty!) and others just do what she says when she tells them to take him onto the bus. She then encounters the previous principal...and apparently he was one of the unfortunate people who lost a finger. It seems that's caused him to finally snap out of being under Edgar's thrall, but then we get a zoom-in of Edgar on the stairs and Alice asks for Evelyn's Betty's gun and goes after him. Next up is probably THE MOST INSANE scene this show's had yet (and when you factor in what's come before...you realise how 'normal' all the insanity has become on this show). Turns out Edgar taking off on his rocket ship wasn't metaphorical or a euphemism...he's LITERALLY got a rocket ship ready to launch him off to...freedom? Space? His home planet? Who the hell knows? Alice aims Evelyn's Betty's her gun at Edgar, who's decked out in Evel Knievel getup (to further prove just how nutso he's become), and unbeknownst to Alice, he's got a gun of his own shoved in the back of his pants which he's slowly reaching for as he spouts his crazy cult crap at her. They both fire their weapons, Betty hears the shot and runs up to find her mum has successfully put down the nutbar who was rambling about 'ascending'. Betty asks what happened and Alice answers, "Edgar ascended." - this is probably the MOST I've liked Alice since...I can't remember when exactly. Maybe Season 2? Yes, it's rather transparent that the writers had her character turn out to be not actually crazy, because otherwise how could they expect viewers not to hate her guts for everything she put poor Betty through? If we could have Betty and Alice kicking arse and being awesome together, then that might go a ways towards me starting to forgive Alice for everything. Anyway, the first step towards her redemption is finally ridding us of Edgar Evernever who'll never ever get to play out the live-action version of the Leader from the Movementarians in The Simpsons, complete with crazy cult leader attempting to escape with all the money he's stolen on a spaceship (or, in this case, a rocket ship). So long, Nutbar (wish your daughter/wife could've joined you in 'ascending'). As things start winding down, Archie's mum tells him she's sticking around and that she's going to work on getting Archie's community centre declared a nonprofit - meaning that he can get donations, apply for grants and won't have to pay tax. Earlier on, Veronica came by Archie's house to give his mum the donation Archie refused to accept and she didn't want it either because she didn't want him staying in Riverdale due to the body count constantly rising, but then Veronica gave a speech about how she believes in/wants to invest in Archie and how he makes her believe in herself ( You don't need Archie to make you believe in yourself, Veronica. You're plenty awesome on your own!). Veronica pays her dad a visit in jail (which he's returned to. I wonder if he sneaks in any stuff he grabs from home?) and sticks it to him by saying she's changing her last name to what his originally was, so now she'll be 'Veronica Luna'. Take that, dad! Jughead discovers that copies of a news article about Moose and his dad (who impersonated the Gargoyle King last season) have been stuck up everywhere and poor ol' Moose knows that his time at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness is over (count yourself lucky, Moose, as clearly some sinister shit is gonna go down at that place in the not-too-distant future). Cheryl goes to ask her rotting corpse of a brother whether the night nurse saw him. The only answer she gets is the squeaking of a rat that crawls out of his stomach and this is what freaks Cheryl out apparently, as she screams and then proceeds to flatten the poor rat with a large book (RIP Ratty). As she's sewing up the hole in her brother's stomach, Toni walks in and catches her in the act, wondering WTF is going on (and THIS is why you should've had better security, Cheryl!). The episode ends with Bughead together, and he's telling her about how jerkwad Bret came at him through hurting Moose because earlier when Mr. Chipping was holding votes to see whose ending for the murder mystery should be the winner, both Bret's and Jughead's came 'last' - which it seems Bret is holding Jughead responsible for (not sure how that logic works. Jughead made you come last...and himself as well? Anyway, the winner was Donna). Betty's like, "You think you've got problems? I almost wound up as a hood ornament for a bus that was going to get driven off a cliff by a bunch of crazy cultists as their leader flew off in a rocket ship! And this was after I almost wound up with my sister splattered all over me! Don't whine to me about your Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness problems, Juggie!"...or maybe she's just thinking that. Anyway, Polly's off at some treatment centre, getting help (hopefully it's legit) and Alice is working on an exposé about the cult farm. Betty then makes the mistake of saying, "I'm just happy that this nightmare is...finally over.", which naturally leads to a knock at the door. They go to investigate, and as Jughead finds a VHS tape has been left, he responds to what Betty said with, "WHY did you have to say that?! Haven't we got enough crazy shit going on in our lives without you falling into that classic horror movie trope of saying it's all over/we're safe now only to have something TERRIBLE happen?!"...or maybe he just says "Famous last words". Whatever you do, DON'T watch the tape, Bughead, or a creepy black-haired ghost girl will crawl out of your TV and you'll be dead in seven days (in this show, that could actually happen).
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Apr 30, 2021 10:19:59 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 4: 'Chapter Sixty-One: Halloween', Episode 5: 'Chapter Sixty-Two: Witness for the Prosecution' and Episode 6: 'Chapter Sixty-Three: Hereditary'. {Spoiler}I guess Bughead called their parents before deciding to watch the VHS tape left for them on the doorstep at the end of last episode, as now all four are watching it. Disappointingly, there's no creepy black-haired ghost girl, it's just hours of footage of their home which someone's been filming from across the street. Apparently they're not the only ones who've gotten such a tape, as Archie, Veronica, Cheryl, Toni and Pop get them too. A lot of Riverdale citizens still have VCRs, it would appear - though that's certainly not the strangest thing about the people who populate this town. No, the strangest thing would be that not only have we skipped over Toni's reaction to finding Cheryl sewing up the rat-infested rotting corpse of her dead brother, Jason, but we've moved straight onto her acting like it's just sort of weird for Cheryl to be keeping him in the house and talking to him like he's still alive. Firstly, I would've liked to have heard the conversation they had about it and watched Cheryl attempt to explain how it's not that strange to Toni. And secondly, how is it that Toni hasn't called someone to come take Cheryl away to somewhere she can get some serious help? Hey, maybe she could join Polly where she's at now, getting deprogrammed (according to Betty, in response to Jugsis expressing her bitterness over Jughead being away at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness). Then again, the place Polly's at is called 'Shady Grove'...so I expect some shady shit to be going down at that place. Anyway, Toni appears to be getting sick of Jason's rotting corpse being in the house, as she keeps pressuring Cheryl to bury him already (surely the Blossoms did something to keep him from smelling, otherwise there should be flies all around and the stink would be unbearable). She reluctantly agrees, but says he won't be happy. Only in Riverdale could two people be so nonchalant about such a thing. IT'S NOT NORMAL. Also not normal is students wearing Halloween costumes at school of actual serial killers from their town. I mean, I get wearing costumes of serial killers from movies, TV shows, etc, but they're a special breed of sicko who dress up as the Black Hood and Gargoyle King, and this clearly upsets Betty, but Mr. Honey just tells them to remove the costumes. I wouldn't have been opposed to him giving them a slap upside the head for the emotional pain they caused Betty (but these Riverdale High principals - their priorities are all screwy). Also in pain is Moose, who thinks joining the army is a better option than staying at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness (and he'd be right! There's less chance of dying in the army). He just can't deal with being called 'Gargoyle Boy' (you think that's the worst thing, Moose? You should hear about half the shit Betty's had to deal with) after jerkwad Bret outed him and his dad being involved in the Gargoyle King plot last season. Betty, Archie, Veronica and Kevin hang out in the student lounge and discuss not only Betty's upsetting encounter, but also the creepy tapes and the fact that Veronica's dad managed to get into where she lives (shouldn't she be calling someone to say there's a prisoner who keeps escaping? I mean, if he owns the prison and everyone there is under his thumb, maybe she should call Sheriff Jugdad or something?). Reggie enters the scene and wants someone to accompany him in TPing Mr. Honey's office. Kevin's the only one who agrees, and that's because the principal apparently gave him a week's detention for going to the bathroom without a hall pass (like I said, it would appear Mr. Honey is continuing the tradition of the principals of this school being more concerned with trivial things rather than stuff that actually matters). Munroe then enters the scene and informs Archie that the lowlifes the masked vigilante beat up are looking to terrorise the town on Halloween night (again, CALL THE POLICE). He manages to stop himself from outing Archie as the vigilante, then Veronica suggests they have a Halloween party at the community centre to keep the kids safe/off the street. She says she can have costumes made up by a friend in New York who is an amazing designer and goes to the school of performing arts (this reference to the spin-off starring Lucy Hale and which Josie joined - Katy Keene - is not a show I've seen, but merely heard of. I missed this reference when originally watching the scene). At the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, Mr. Chipping has tasked the group with bringing in something written by their favourite horror writers. Naturally, Jughead's gone with H.P. Lovecraft - which Bret scoffs at, then Jughead returns the favour by remarking how predictable going with Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven' is, though Bret says his favourite story is one about a guy going missing and being sealed up behind a brick wall to never be heard from again. The fact that he's smiling creepily as he describes what a horrible way to go that would be makes it pretty clear that's what he'd like to do to Jughead. This brings up discussion of the 'Stonewall Four', who Jughead knows nothing about but later learns from Mr. Chipping that it's an urban legend from the school about four students who went there and disappeared suddenly (not all together/at the same time, but over the span of 30 years). According to Chipping, however, they just 'dropped out' (of a window to their deaths, maybe?). Later still, Donna (who seemed to be the only one of the group who was decent to Jughead) offers him some coffee...and, wouldn't you know it, he's just been drugged, collapses to the floor and sees the group standing over him with Bret doing his creepy smile thing. Clearly something sinister is about to go down at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness (who'da thunk it?). Something sinister going on elsewhere is Choni finding a creepy doll in the house after having buried Jason's rotting corpse. Cheryl's explanation? Jason's ghost is most displeased with his body being buried. Also not having an overly fun time is Betty, who has to explain her costume (which must be the cheapest/easiest-to-assemble Halloween costume EVER) as being 'Laurie Strode from the original Halloween' to Jugsis, who's reaction is like, "The original? You mean the 1998 one?". Poor Betty, being stuck with the younger generation. And to top things off, when there are trick-or-treaters at the door, it's more kids dressed as the Black Hood and Gargoyle King (I imagine all these kids dressing up in the same costumes getting into fisticuffs because others stole their idea and they thought they were being so original with their choice of costumes). Honestly, Betty could've easily scared them as payback for opening up old wounds if she'd wanted to simply by inviting them in and having them spend a few hours witnessing the live-action horror movie that is her life. Also living out a real life horror movie is Jughead, who awakes to find himself in a coffin (but, hey, at least he has a lighter. People who bury others alive are always so polite/considerate enough to let them have a lighter. Imagine being buried alive and not even being able to see anything? Now, that'd be truly scary). He starts off not overly impressed (he really should've yelled out "Live burial? You're as lame and predictable as your choice of favourite horror literature, Bret!"), but that only lasts for so long before he's freaking out. Another classic horror movie trope is playing out at Betty's house, as the phone rings and she only hears breathing on the other end, she hangs up on the mouth-breather, but then it rings again and this time it's a Black Hood wannabe claiming to be the real thing. Betty's not buying it since she saw the real Black Hood/her dad get his brains blown out by Penelope Blossom in last season's final, so she hangs up again and locks the door. Okay, firstly...WHY wasn't your door locked before this, Betty? You know exactly the type of creep-filled town you live in, and on Halloween night? You should've been answering every door-knock whilst holding a gun behind your back just as a precaution. And secondly, this prank caller is so amateurish. Repeated calling, breathing, claiming to be a serial killer? At least go for something new/inventive that hasn't been done a thousand times before. I mean, considering the stuff Betty's dealt with previously, this is juvenile in comparison. Speaking of juvenile crap, Jugsis pulls some on Betty when she hears a thud come from her room, runs upstairs and finds Jugsis lying on the floor in a pool of blood (I think she's meant to have a slit throat). She then jumps up and laughs at having contributed to Betty's already shit day and WHAT A BITCH Jugsis has turned out to be. Surely she knows all the crap Betty's been through...yet she pulls this shit?? Betty really needs to have a talk with Jughead, next time she sees him, about his sister being such a...well...little shit. Before that, though, Betty deals with the amateurish prank caller again. Too bad this show doesn't allow F-bombs and such, as I would've enjoyed hearing Betty subjecting the prank caller to an expletive-laden tirade (which they'd richly deserve). Instead, she's only allowed to say PG13-ish things to them and I was half-expecting it to turn out to be a friend or family member who was calling who'd interrupt her mid-shouting, but of course it's the the lame Black Hood wannabe and it seems there's no horror movie trope they won't pass up - in this case it's the good ol' "the call is coming from inside the house" trope. There's a knock at the door which turns out to be her half-bro, Charles, and he's brought pizza. Naturally, she invites him in (because it couldn't possibly be him who made the call...could it?). Turns out Veronica wasn't having her designer friend, Katy Keene, make costumes for the kids at the community centre Halloween party...but rather for Archie and Munroe. I felt sorry for both actors having to wear the ridiculous reject superhero costumes. Veronica tells them that Archie is 'Pureheart the Powerful' and Munroe is 'The Shield'. The latter's costume looks like something Captain America said "Pass." to and the former's costume is just like what you expect any generic superhero costume to look like...but with a big 'P' on the front. Pureheart the Powerful? Really, Veronica? You may as well have dressed your b/f up as Tenderheart from the Care Bears. After sticking Archie with this costume, she nicks off to go close up at Pop's her diner. I'm surprised Archie and Munroe didn't immediately ditch those embarrassing getups and wear something non-ridiculous while Veronica was gone and have someone as a lookout to let them know when she returned so they could change back into the costumes and she'd be none the wiser. Instead, they stay in costume and then expect to be intimidating/taken seriously when they have to deal with the lowlifes and their leader, Dodger, crashing the party. I think they maybe make one snide remark at some point in regards to the costumes, but I don't know how they're not laughing their arses off the entire time just looking at those two. Dodger wants to take one of the kids who works for him (and who Archie took a knife off of earlier), but Munroe and Archie (Munchie?) won't let him. It's crazy that they manage to get his gang to leave simply by saying that the community centre is private property, but somehow that works. Meanwhile, Choni are making out on Cheryl's extravagant bed, they hear Polly's twins making a racket and when they go down to investigate, the kids are asleep. Cheryl's creepy grandma is her typical creepy self and they find the creepy doll that Toni threw away has returned. She asks Cheryl if she's messing with her just to get Jason's rotting corpse that they buried back in the house, but she denies it and says it's Jason's ghost, suggesting they perform a séance in an effort to tell Jason's ghost to "QUIT IT!". At Pop's Veronica's diner, a trucker played by one of those 'Hey, It's That Guy!' guys, who it feels like I've seen in many different things (Ben Cotton is the actor's name and I'll forever think of him as 'Angry Fisherman' from Harper's Island), shows up when it's closing hours and Veronica lets him in, despite the fact that it's just her there alone on Halloween night IN RIVERDALE - how does none of this cause her to say an immediate "NOPE!"? While all this^ has been going on, Kevin and Reggie have been TPing Mr. Honey's office, but he catches them in the act, tells Kevin to accompany him and makes Reggie stay behind. Kevin and the principal have a chat, Mr. Honey steers him towards believing that Reggie made him do what he did to the office and basically says Kevin hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell of getting into NYU after what happened with his two musicals he directed and the craziness/deaths that resulted from them. The scene ends with Kevin ratting out Reggie as being the one with the idea of TPing the office (so it would appear Kevin's not just a shitty friend to Betty, but to Reggie as well, and will rat out anyone if it's of benefit to him). Mr. Honey's chat with Reggie goes a bit differently, as he goes talks about the persona Reggie puts on and how people don't laugh at his jokes, but rather laugh at him. He seems to be getting into Reggie's head (though considering the creeper vibe he's giving off, it also seems like he wants to get into more than that). He tells Reggie to think about what he's said to him whilst he cleans the office he made a mess of. Someone else dealing with a creeper is Veronica, as the trucker wants to show her a picture of his family...or are they? Speaking of family, Betty's eating pizza with her half-bro, tells him about the Black Hood wannabe calling her and he says next time it happens, he can trace the call - which is what they do. It's slightly amusing that Betty pretends to just have a normal conversation with the person on the other end, seemingly having changed her attitude towards them - though it's all just to keep them on the line while Charles traces the call's origin. I was also amused that when Charles got the trace and gave Betty the signal, she just ceased pretending like she wanted to chat to whoever was on the other end and immediately hung up. Unfortunately, when Charles informs Betty of where the call was coming from, it turns out to have been the Shady Grove place Polly's staying out. Betty gets Charles to pose as Edgar as they call back and this gets Polly to answer, desperate to hear from Edgar (as clearly she's not aware that her mum plugged him full of holes before he could fly his rocket ship away to safety), then Betty says the BEST THING EVER as she lets Polly know who it really is and that she's onto her. Go Betty! Also...go Veronica! After she hears on the TV in Pop's her diner about an escaped patient from the same Shady Grove place that Polly's been staying at (I KNEW some shady shit would be going on - it's right there in the name!), she wastes no time in locking the creeper in the diner and running downstairs to her speakeasy, filling a bowl with booze and turning off all the lights. The guy manages to escape from where he was locked inside and comes down into the speakeasy, using his lighter to illuminate the place. When he looks up, Veronica's standing on the bar and tosses the bowl of booze onto him which sets him alight, then she whacks him with a chair before running off. Any Veronica haters can STFU, as she just proved herself quite capable of being able to take out a maniac all by herself. It was awesome! Less awesome is Archie's storyline, involving him finding the kid who Dodger wanted earlier has been shot (that's what he gets for not listening to Archie when he told him to stay inside). Honestly, everything Archie's doing for these kids is going above and beyond what he should have to be doing, and they're just useless and stupid and don't listen. Sheriff Jugdad, who Archie had tried calling earlier, eventually turns up. I'm surprised he hasn't been doing the rounds, going from Betty's place to Pop's Veronica's diner to Archie's community centre to his son's coffin. Jughead has either lost consciousness or fallen asleep by the time he is finally freed by Chipping, who claims that he didn't know about it (which is an obvious lie) and acts like it's no big thing (yet he'd told Jughead previously that the school has a 'zero tolerance for fighting'. I knew that he'd end up having a tolerance for something much worse), saying it's a 'tradition' and 'not to be taken seriously' (how does one not take being seemingly buried alive - even though Jughead actually wasn't buried, the coffin was just in a classroom - seriously??). The group who were behind it reckon this now makes Jughead one of them, though Bret makes a point of telling Jughead that if he thinks they took it too far, he could just leave. So even after all this, he still hasn't eased up on his hatred for Jughead. Come on, Jug! You pride yourself on being smarter than everyone else...use your smarts to take care of this jerk! Someone else who needs to deal with a jerk is Reggie, as he finds his car has been given the same treatment as he gave Mr. Honey's office (but with added smashed windows), and it's blatantly obvious that the principal is behind this, having gotten revenge. What is it with the adults in Riverdale having vendettas against high school 'teens'? They're so petty! Betty is offered by her half-bro the opportunity to be a candidate for the junior FBI training program (but wasn't she already basically a member of the FBI, considering all the stuff you had her doing last episode...including defusing a bomb? Seems kind of 'backwards' to be going from that to having to do training). He reckons together they can find out who's behind the mysterious tapes. Varchie are in bed together and discussing what they got up to on Halloween night. Veronica's all, "I set an escaped mental patient on fire, what'd you do?" and Archie's all, "I kept wanting to beat myself up in that costume you forced me to wear, Ronnie...oh, and a kid got shot. It's okay, it was just his leg.", which leads to him doing the only thing that makes sense... calling the police deciding to become a costumed vigilante - though even Veronica has enough sense to be skeptical about him wearing that costume she got him. It's not exactly going to strike fear into the hearts of criminals. Archie is like, "Oh, Ronnie, don't be stupid. I'm not going to dress up in that ridiculous thing...first, I need a mask!". Honestly, with the way Veronica handled herself, she should be the one out auditioning to be the next 'Arrowverse' superhero...not you, Archie. It was kind of funny how he first said he couldn't believe she managed to do what she did all by herself, and then he immediately said the exact opposite to that, and reckoned he could totally believe it. Let's just pretend you didn't say that first part, huh? Someone else who could do with a good mind-wipe is Toni, as she's been dealing with Cheryl's crazy shit all night and has finally had enough when she finds the creepy doll they'd buried has returned. Cheryl admits to gaslighting Toni earlier (back when she said she wasn't), but on this occasion she swears she's not behind the return of Chucky. Her creepy grandma then chimes in that it was Julian who brought it back. Who the hell is Julian? Well, earlier Cheryl's creepy grandma explained that Penelope didn't just have twins, she had triplets (so that's who Cheryl's creepy grandma was ranting about in a prior episode, when she mentioned triplets burning in a fire!), one was named Julian and that one died... from being consumed by Cheryl in utero! This is pretty heavy stuff, but like Toni just seemingly accepting Cheryl talking to her brother's rotting corpse, Cheryl (and Toni) don't seem that fazed by this new information. It must also be pointed out the two of them dressed as Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn for Halloween. I remember in a previous season it was stated by one half of Bughead that Cheryl had 'gone full Poison Ivy'...and now it appears she's completed her transformation into becoming a super villain. All that's missing is her conversing with plants (do dead brothers count?). The episode ends with Bughead on the phone with each other and Jughead's telling Betty how Moose has seemingly vanished from their room, leaving no trace that he was ever there. Betty thinks he may have joined the army, but Jughead thinks that the ones who locked him in a coffin chased Moose away and the reason for the coffin prank was to prevent him from being able to do anything to stop them. They both express regret over not being there for each other during what they had to endure, though Jughead says Betty was there for him since it was the thought of her that kept him going. Aw. Not so "aw"-worthy is the fact that Charles is listening in on his half-siblings' conversation, apparently having tapped Betty's phone. Poor Betty, she seems to be the most 'normal' of her family (and considering she has a 'dark' self, she's not that 'normal' to begin with). Smash-cut/flashforward to Betty and Jugdad identifying what appears to be Jughead's corpse in the morgue. You know, they don't look as broken up about it as you might expect. Apart from all the other reasons to think Jughead being 'dead' isn't real, there's the fact that they have so little reaction to seeing him on a slab which pretty much guarantees there's going to be a faked death happening at some point in Jughead's future (hey, it wouldn't be the first faked death on this show). I have to say, I was a bit disappointed with this Halloween episode. Considering the series has been delving more and more into the 'spooky' and supernatural, it could've been a lot creepier than it actually was. I guess I'm 'spoiled' for Halloween episodes, as the last one I watched was from Season 1 of the show Evil - now THAT was a really good, unsettling Halloween episode. The Halloween episode may have been disappointing, but the next one was equal parts boring and infuriating. The most entertaining part was the beginning with Archie chasing off a purse-snatcher and getting maced in the face for his trouble when attempting to hand the purse back to the ungrateful woman. While a part of me felt sorry for him (hey, lady, what kind of mugger did you think he was when he just chased away the guy who was attempting to steal your purse and then he hands it back to you?), but the other part of me hoped this would teach him a lesson that being a masked vigilante ain't so easy. Though that woman isn't the only ungrateful person he's dealing with, as he's also got those ungrateful kids at the community centre who are stealing comic books (which Archie ends up paying for) or hubcaps off cars, and then they complain about the community centre closing at night and wonder what'll happen when Archie goes to college. To top things off, he's got neighbours of the community centre speaking out against his place because if they don't, Dodger and his lowlifes will go after them. Archie then holds a press conference saying he'll be keeping the place open later at night and they're also going to start a Big Brother/Big Sister program, which he encourages those speaking out against his community centre to come help with instead of complaining, as it'll keep kids from getting into trouble. And if they're not going to help...then stay out of his way! He also pays Dodger a visit in his masked vigilante getup and brandishing a tyre iron, basically telling him to, "Duh, stay out of Riverdale!". I'm sure he'll totally do what some guy in a mask tells him to and there'll be no retaliation whatsoever. Veronica's parents are having their trials around the same time as each other and Veronica's made it her personal mission to get her mum out of prison whilst making sure her dad stays in. Pop has been called to take the stand, but if he does he's not willing to lie and that's bad news for Veronica. Hermione's already in strife when a connection is made between her and Tall Boy (who is the one accused of shooting Hiram...and is also dead), which means she's going to get charged with attempting to have Hiram killed or whatever. Veronica visits her dad and he's his usual man-child self. It's looking bad for Hermione, even with her own daughter and Archie's mum on the case, but then Veronica has the bright idea for her to enter a plea of guilty to lesser charges (which apparently everyone already knows she's guilty of) before more serious ones come out. She then has a plan for how to get her mum pardoned - which involves blackmailing the governor. This isn't the first time Veronica's done such a thing, but she claims it'll be the last if he does what she wants - which he agrees to. However, Veronica finds she's got a new problem to deal with in the form of a half-sister she didn't even know about (what is it with this show and secret half-siblings?) and who has been called upon by Hiram to get him out of jail. She's also bugged Veronica's speakeasy, so she has recordings of the various deals Veronica's made with people that could get her into a whole world of trouble. Oh, and her name is Hermosa (which sounds like a name Hermione would've given a child, wanting their name to sound like hers, but that's not the case. Congrats, Veronica. You're the only member of your family with a 'normal'-sounding name). She's under the impression that she's Hiram's 'favourite' daughter and once he's out of jail, he announces his candidacy for mayor while Veronica attempts to kill both him and his 'favourite' daughter with eye daggers. At the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, Jughead's telling Donna (the one who drugged him before he was locked in a coffin on Halloween night) that he's done some investigating and found out the 'Stonewall Four' (which he learned about last episode) disappeared over the course of 30 years (you didn't find that out, Jughead. Mr. Chipping told you it!). He reckons this is what's happened to Moose, but Donna claims he's just at basic training (for the army) and the two of them text regularly (if I were Jughead, I would've asked for evidence of this). Later, Chipping hands out to the group advanced copies of the latest in a series of books that apparently Jughead's been a big fan of since he was young. Chipping says he wrote the latest one and he's the most recent in a long line of ghostwriters. Jughead goes home to search for his collection of the book series he loves so much, but finds his dad's stuck them in the basement because he reckons he 'outgrew' them, though Jughead begs to differ. At the school, he gets to meet the originator of the books and fanboys away, then the old guy says that a new ghostwriter is to be chosen to take over from Chipping. The group is given the task to write the next three chapters of the novel and an outline about what's to come. The theme is not yet decided (that's helpful). Jughead's looking through year books from the past at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness and finds the originator of the books he loves was a friend of his grandad. He asks the old guy about it, and he says Jughead's granddad was a great writer, but also a 'brawler' (so he and Jughead have that in common). He then asks Jughead if his dad is a writer. Not so much, it would appear, as Sheriff Jugdad gives both Jughead (and me) whiplash, since he spent SO much time trying to convince Jughead to go to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, but now it sounds like he doesn't approve of that place and it seems to have something to do with his dad (who he got his name from and passed down to Jughead) having gone missing from there under mysterious circumstances. He rants about how those at that school think they're better than others, he talks about his dad (Jughead's granddad) being an abusive a-hole and not a writer, but a dropout, then when Jughead says he's been invited to attend a reception at the school, Sheriff Jugdad says he doesn't want to go (it was unintentionally amusing when he whined about how they'd probably make him wear a tie...when he was currently wearing one as part of his sheriff uniform). Later on, he's changed his tune yet again and it seems he's all for Jughead staying at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness (just as Jughead was about to unenroll from it and go back to Riverdale High). He then tells Jughead that the ones giving him a hard time at the school are only doing that because he's a better writer than them. At the reception, they play a game where one person gets a piece of paper that says they're a 'murderer' and they have to wink at their 'victims' (who fall to the floor, playing 'dead') until someone figures out who the 'murderer' is. It eventually gets down to just Jughead and Bret being left, but Jughead winks at Bret before he's figured out Jughead's the murderer. He tries to accuse him, but as Jughead points out...Bret's 'dead'. And so, Jughead wins the game and has a chance at being the next ghostwriter for the book series he loves so much. This, naturally, pisses Bret off who makes the mistake of insulting Jughead until he gets physical with him, though he refrains from punching him - though obviously Bret wanted him to, since Chipping firmly established the school's 'zero tolerance for fighting (but not for sticking people in coffins and making them believe they're buried alive - that we're fine with)' rule and it would've likely gotten Jughead kicked out if he had punched him. At the end of the episode, Jughead insists he go by his real first name instead of 'Jughead' (though I ain't typing 'Forsythe'. Screw that!) and the group is informed of what the 'theme' will be for the books - the 'perfect murder'. Which leads into the final scene that is a flashforward to Sheriff Jugdad interrupting a class to arrest Archie, Betty and Veronica for Jughead's murder. Betty, who I guess has now fully forgiven Kevin for his shitty treatment of her last season, urges him to join her at the junior FBI program that her half-bro, Charles, got her involved with. Kevin only seems to care about how 'hot' he finds Charles and asking Betty what sexual orientation her half-bro is. It gets pretty old pretty fast (imagine a guy asking this about someone's sister constantly, or a girl asking it about someone's brother - it's not funny, it's just annoying). Betty and Kevin are at the junior FBI program where Charles is showing mugshots of three men at a time, and they have to try to pick which one's the serial killer...which Betty guesses right every time. Charles then brings up those 'serial killer genes' that were introduced last season and which still make no sense whatsoever. Betty's reminded of her mum and sister telling her she had those genes (though, to be fair, they were crazy and involved with the cult farm at the time, so maybe don't take them at their word, Betty?). She goes to the doctor to confirm she's got the 'serial killer genes', which she's not happy to learn she does in fact have...though she lies to Kevin about it (eh, considering all the stuff he did, who cares?). The next scene was a very upsetting one, as it's Charles showing instances of animal cruelty/killings done by serial killers. I was so grateful that we don't actually see the pictures, but it reminds Betty of when she was being hypnotised by Edgar towards the end of last season and Polly was pretending to be Betty's 'dark' self, reminding her of the time she killed her cat, Caramel. Remembering this upsets Betty and she walks out of the class (I was upset enough from hearing about the serial killers' acts of animal cruelty). After the next lesson, in which she learns serial killers keep journals/diaries/notes and are the 'heroes' of their own stories, Betty checks through her old journals/diaries. She meets Kevin at Pop's Veronica's diner, confesses to him about having lied in regards to her not having the 'serial killer genes' and then tells him how she killed her cat when she was young. Apparently it didn't drown like Polly-as-'Dark Betty' said last season. What actually happened was after the cat had been hit by a car and was lying on the grass, her dad made young Betty finish it off with a rock. On the one hand, at least she was putting the poor animal out of its misery. But on the other hand, I don't think serial killer daddio was getting her to do this as a mercy killing (it's more likely he wanted her to get a taste for killing). As much as I hate young Betty for what she did (and the fact that we had to watch this scene play out), it's a good thing at least that adult Betty feels sad/bad about it, whereas if she didn't care at all, then I'd be worried about her current mental state. Kevin, still putting in an effort to make up for last season, tries to be a good friend to Betty by saying it was her dad who made her do it, but that's obviously of little consolation. He then suggests she stop going to the junior FBI program if it's bringing up bad memories, she tells Charles she wants to quit and admits to him about having the 'serial killer genes', but then he confesses he has them as well and says she should use being in the junior FBI program to curb whatever dark impulses she may have (so he's basically acting as Dexter's dad to Betty's Dexter?). She tells Kevin about her plan to stick with the junior FBI program, but it's not for the reasons Charles said - it's so she can keep an eye on her half-bro, because she suspects he's keeping secrets (and maybe because he admitted to having the 'serial killer genes' and he's not as good at keeping his serial killer impulses in check as she is? That might also have something to do with it). At the start of the next episode, Jughead voiceover explains that when the sun goes down...so does criminal activity (like we'd expect anything else in Riverdale). One of the ungrateful youths Archie's been helping out at his community centre hasn't learned from his past mistakes (or Archie's big speeches) and is trying to steal from a car, so Archie (in his masked vigilante getup) handcuffs the kid to the steering wheel, Sheriff Jugdad arrests him and he finally learns his lesson as he goes to jail - no, wait, that's what should've happened. Instead, Archie has his mum help the kid get released from jail and he gets work at Pop's Veronica's diner. That's right, reward the criminal! That'll teach him never to do it again! Dodger ain't happy that Archie's taking his minions and giving them honest work. Archie directs Sheriff Jugdad to the arcade where he should be able to find all the stuff Dodger's had stolen, but of course it's his minions who stole it, while he just sits back and acts all squeaky clean, so Sheriff Jugdad has 'nothing' on him (too bad Archie doesn't invest in a body camera, then he could just film all the dodgy shit Dodger and his lowlifes get up to and toss it to Jughead's dad like "Here's your proof."). Despite the many chances he keeps giving the ungrateful youths, they keep doing dodgy shit for Dodger and when Archie questions why, their excuse is "Because he gives us free pizza and let's us play arcade games!" (well, maybe you should eat healthier food and do exercise instead?). Of course, Veronica's there to help Archie out with getting arcade games for his community centre, but apparently not even that is enough, as Dodger still has free pizza! So then Veronica says food from Pop's her diner will be brought in for these greedy bastards. Honestly, they don't deserve all this stuff they're getting. Dodger's had enough of Archie's generosity and calls him out to verify his suspicions that he is the masked vigilante (yet another reason Archie would never make a legit superhero - bad guys have no problem figuring out his secret identity). When Archie goes home, he finds a black mask pinned to the door and is in the middle of explaining to his mum not everyone's happy with what he's been doing when, as if to prove his point, his house gets shot up and him and his mum narrowly avoid ending up like the house (as sad as I am to have not seen Vegas the dog for a while, I hope he didn't die of depression after realising Fred wasn't coming home. It's probably a good thing he wasn't present when this drive-by happened, otherwise he could've ended up shot). After this, I can kind of understand Archie going to Veronica's dad for help (after telling him he didn't want anything from him earlier on when he offered). Since Sheriff Jugdad's been no use in stopping Dodger and his lowlifes, Archie basically tells Hiram, "I want you to take care of Dodger...in the Mafia/You sense." and then seems surprised when that's exactly what happens towards the end of the episode, as he finds Dodger beaten and bloody (though, annoyingly, still alive), rolled up in a carpet, and Archie let's him bleed out and his problems are solved calls him an ambulance. Damn it, Archie! This whole community centre storyline is equal parts boring and annoying. I miss the days of you being in prison...wait, no I don't. Well, I miss the days of your Shirtless Army -- nope, that's not true either. I can't remember what your storyline in Season 1 was, but I'm sure it was less annoying than the ones that followed it (oh, that's right, you were boning Miss Grundy. Yeah, that was kinda weird, but also much less annoying). Something else that's annoying is Veronica's family. I had high hopes that Hermione had finally decided Hiram was no good for her and that she was going to team up with Veronica against him and his secret other daughter who's come out the woodwork...but nope. He appears to her shirtless and she jumps his bones in no time (honestly, it seemed more like a dream she was having, as it was SO soap opera-ish and over-the-top, how he just basically seduced her back to being on his side with shirtlessness. Then again...it works for Archie). So, about 5 seconds of her being a 'strong independent woman' and then she's back to being under Hiram's control. Meanwhile, his other daughter has no problem with her dad (unlike Veronica), and she claims he's told her how special she is/she's his 'favourite' (the exact same thing he called Veronica earlier). Unfortunately, Veronica doesn't get the hell out of there and go live with her dope of a b/f and his mum, but instead stays with her awful family. Very disappointing. Also disappointing is that Jughead's storyline basically amounts to him figuring out that his granddad wrote the first one in that books series he loves so much, despite the 'originator' supposedly being the old guy who he met last episode. He then accuses his former hero of plagiarism and the old guy shows his true colours by insulting Jughead's granddad, his background, his lack of wealth, etc. He's a snob/elitist through and through, and invades Jughead's personal space to threaten him if he tells anyone about these 'outlandish' accusations. Naturally, Jughead runs to Mr. Chipping, shows him what he deems to be 'proof' (different writing styles! That's all the proof you need...right?) and I was actually surprised that Chipping turned out to be a decent guy, as he admits he can't in good conscience let this plagiarism slide, so he's going to back up Jughead on this one...until he decides to throw himself out a window. Now THAT was a real surprise (I think I'd either read or heard about it previously at some point, but had promptly forgotten it, which is why it ended up being a surprise for me). Jughead tells the other members of his group to call an ambulance to help poor splattered Mr. Chipping...but they just remain seated, being all creepy/unfazed by their teacher's suicide. It was kind of morbidly amusing how it happened. He seemed upset about something, then just took a flying leap. Unfortunately, his replacement turns out to be the nasty old guy who Jughead accused of plagiarism. So...I guess Chipping won't be bouncing back from this (that's what you get for criticising the Riverdale writers, Sam Witwer!). Betty's storyline is pretty ho-hum this episode too. She's been following her half-bro, Charles, around and seeing that he doesn't get up to much - which is VERY suspicious, according to Betty. She goes and visits fake-bro, Chic, in jail where she asks him about Charles (who he impersonated in Season 2), he tells her they were involved and Charles killed a guy. Betty voices her suspicions of Charles right to his face and gets him to take a lie detector test, where she asks him questions, he mentions being a recovering addict and such, but the only important part is the bit about him killing a guy, though in his version it was Chic who did it (the scenario he describes sounds a lot like what happened with Chic killing a guy in Season 2, which Betty and her mum had to cover up). Oh Alice, you were awesome for ONE episode this season (the third episode, when you shot Edgar before he could fly away in his rocket ship), and now you're back to being annoying again. It seems she's pissed at Betty for going to Chic and distrusting Charles (though, to be fair to Betty, she'd said that she didn't trust either of them), especially since Chic's now telling his lawyer he knows about a murder Alice committed in the Black Hood's house. Alice wants Betty to apologise to Charles and make nice-nice with him after he helps Sheriff Jugdad dispose of the corpse that Betty and Alice (along with Sheriff Jugdad) disposed of in Season 2. Betty seems to be feeling bad about distrusting Charles (no, Betty! Trust your instincts!), but it turns out Charles is in cahoots with Chic, given the conversation they have through the glass at the prison. Poor Betty just can't have one single decent family member, can she? Speaking of family, Cheryl's appear to her in a dream at the foot of her extravagant bed, with her mum holding the creepy doll and saying that Cheryl's sibling she absorbed in the womb (according to her creepy grandma) needs a body...so they're going to give him Cheryl's. She awakes, screaming (as she often does), then has the bright idea to drown the doll (at first I thought she was going to give it an acid bath, but it quickly became clear that wasn't the case when she proceeded to stick her hands in it). And as if this isn't enough craziness, then other relations of hers show up (causing her to faint, as she also does quite often), and when she awakes from that she learns they're there because they want her to sign over the maple business to her since it hasn't been very profitable after her dad died and her mum vamoosed. With Toni's encouragement (saying it'll get them away from all the craziness), it seems like Cheryl's considering signing until her relatives say they want to go visit the chapel to light a candle for their dearly departed, then she loses it due to not wanting them to discover her brother's rotting corpse she's been keeping there. She says essentially "NO SIGNATURE FOR YOU!" and throws them out, but then later one of them (Cheryl's uncle) has found Jason's rotting corpse and he's going to have Cheryl locked away (her aunt had already threatened to do this earlier, but now there's proof Cheryl's off her rocker), he gets physical with her, but Toni whacks him with a candle stand (candles are clearly Cheryl's - and now Toni's - 'thing' just like bobby pins are Betty's 'thing' and beating people up is Archie's 'thing'). It's quite possible he's now dead. When Cheryl's aunt comes looking for him, Cheryl's like, "Umm...what uncle?". Sadly, this was another average episode (making it three in a row. I'd say the Halloween episode was the 'best' of the three, and it wasn't even that great. Seems like it's been all downhill after the rocket ship ).
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 2, 2021 8:16:20 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 7: 'Chapter Sixty-Four: The Ice Storm' and Episode 8: 'Chapter Sixty-Five: In Treatment'. {Spoiler}It's Thanksgiving in Riverdale...except Archie doesn't really have much to give thanks for, since it's the first one since his dad died. He visits Fred's grave with his mum (you know what would be nice? If we saw Vegas the dog there too!). One person who does have something to be thankful for is Veronica's dad, who has apparently run 'unopposed' for mayor and WON. It's kind of funny how we didn't even see him campaigning or anything. Then again, no matter what kind of campaign he had, it would've still been ridiculous that someone who just got out of jail and is a known Mafia boss would even be in the running for mayor. Not to mention everyone probably voted for him simply out of fear of what he'd do if they didn't vote for him. He seems pretty happy with himself. And I would be too if I were him - he's probably barely containing his Sideshow Bob-esque evil laugh now that he has ALL THE POWER. He wants Veronica to join him and the rest of the fam for Thanksgiving dinner, but naturally she would rather be serving food to poor people with her b/f at the community centre than spending Thanksgiving with her evil dad, doormat mum and annoying half-sister who's under the delusion she's the 'favourite'. Hiram says Veronica oughta be careful around the community centre, since Dodger's beaten body was found outside (which he obviously was responsible for). Speaking of he-who-is-now-comatose, his dickish family the Dickensons (more like The Dicks) plot their revenge against whoever put him in that state, and I can't say I'm happy to have Azura Skye's character return, as she annoyed me enough the first time she appeared in Season 2. See, Jughead? This is why you should've had your Serpents finish her off back then! At the present moment, he's wondering WTF was up with Mr. Chipping throwing himself out a window and none of the rest of his group seeming to care, while the old guy who was nasty to him claims Chipping was just a drunk. I'm not sure why Jughead even bothers asking whether Chipping had words with nasty old guy about the accusations of plagiarism he tossed at him, since even if Chipping had said something...what use would that be now? Naturally, nasty old guy reckons Chipping said nothing to him and he suggests Jughead drop these 'delusions' about his granddad being the actual original writer of the book series Jughead loves so much. Funny how nasty old guy didn't come clean and just admit to being a plagiarist, huh? Jughead gives nasty old guy an evil look as he walks off, and then he ropes Betty into helping him dig into Chipping's 'suicide' and what a romantic way to spend Thanksgiving! There's also an ice storm on the way (hence the episode title) and Bret continues to eavesdrop on conversations whilst lurking around the corner. Maybe always check that jerk's not listening in before you have these types of conversations, Jug? Veronica, who seems to have an endless supply of money, has gone all-out with giving the community centre everything it needs for a Thanksgiving party. Munroe questions Archie's plan to deep fry a turkey, but apparently it's a tradition his dad had. Then Sheriff Jugdad comes to deliver the bad news that as the new mayor, Veronica's dad wants to shut the community centre down, which Veronica knows is payback for her not accepting his invitation to spend Thanksgiving with him (the way Munroe reacts to the news, I was half-expecting him to say something to Veronica, essentially blaming her for all this, though she'd be justified in pointing out that she's basically been paying for EVERYTHING at the community centre and is pretty much the reason it even got off the ground to begin with. Thankfully, there are no remarks from him on the subject of the community centre being caught in the middle of a daddy/daughter disagreement). Despite delivering Hiram's message, Sheriff Jugdad reckons if he were Archie, he'd screw Hiram he'd be all like, "Screw Hiram!" (I think that's what he was getting at, anyway). He then goes home and expresses to Alice his desire not to be doing Hiram's dirty work anymore, but doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of quitting being sheriff either. Alice is only interested in two things: having sex at Pop's Veronica's diner and Thanksgiving dinner right now! Er...it might've been the other way around. When Veronica returns home, as her awful family sit down to a full Thanksgiving dinner, she gives a speech about how just when she thought her dad couldn't BE more petty, he does this - taking away the one place homeless kids have to go to get food on Thanksgiving. Then she proceeds to pull the tablecloth - along with all of the food - onto the floor. It was a fine gesture, Veronica, but maybe instead you could've just taken the food to feed those supposedly starving kids? To be fair, I don't think any of the food would've gotten that dirty, since it basically stays on top of the tablecloth even when it's on the floor. Anyway...take that, turkey Lodges! Toni's been feeling guilty over accidentally killing Cheryl's uncle, but Cheryl reassures her that no guilt need be felt since she was just saving her g/f. Also, they need to get a wriggle on if they want to toss his body in the river before it freezes over (I love the way Cheryl says this with a smile, like it's just another day in her crazy gothic life). Toni's too busy feeling the same as Luke Skywalker did after he landed on Dagobah, all "I feel like...we're being watched!" and blasts Cheryl's two still-breathing relatives with her blaster. Actually, no, that's not what happens. Disappointingly, they just turn up and want to know what's become of Cheryl's uncle. Luckily, Cheryl's conspired with her creepy grandma to set up an elaborate ruse where she tells them all a dark gothic tale (speaking at a glacial pace. Seriously, I was like "Hurry the hell up and get to the point, creepy grandma!") on Thanksgiving about distant relations who were forced to cannibalise each other, and then Cheryl's like, "How's your pie? Does it taste familiar? It should. You knew that meat pie well." and one of the two relatives finds a ring belonging to the 'missing' uncle. So, they're made to believe they've eaten him, and Cheryl threatens to out them as cannibals to everyone unless they bugger off, but when they don't quite believe Cheryl would do something that crazy, she has Jason's rotting corpse wheeled out and this is enough to convince them that Cheryl is indeed that crazy. I was amused by her line that was essentially asking them if they wanted a doggy bag to put the rest of her uncle in for their journey home. Bughead have the chance to make the story Cheryl's creepy grandma told a reality when trapped in the school, unable to order takeout food because of the ice storm and Jughead jokes about it now being the part where they freeze and starve to death since the room seems to be getting colder (if Sam and Dean Winchester were around, they'd say a cold spot means ghosts). When he goes to get food from the vending machine, he's accosted by a creepo in a rabbit mask and wielding an axe. It's so obviously Bret, even before his mask is removed, but thankfully Betty whacks him good in the back of the head with a golf club. Then another bunny-masked person turns up, and it's Donna. For all his bravado and trying to act tough/intimidating, Bret's actually a big wimp, requiring a belt to bite down on like he's being flogged when in fact Betty's just stitching up his stupid head. I'm glad Betty told him off for trying to scare Jughead. You and Jughead should've just eaten the two of them, Betty. It's not like the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness bothers asking questions about missing students. I doubt they'd be missed. Sadly, though, Bughead don't resort to cannibalism, and instead willingly play a game of 'Never Have I Ever' with the two jerks (I've seen this game played out in a number of shows, but this is the first time I can recall seeing those who participate holding up their hands and using their fingers to indicate when they have or haven't done the thing someone says). It basically ends up being an attempt to get Bret to admit he had something to do with Chipping's 'suicide', but of course he's not going to admit to it, Jughead! WHY do you keep expecting all the jerks who go to this school to tell the truth when they're so obviously LYING LIARS WHO LIE? Betty excuses herself to go refill the flask they've all been taking swigs from. After she held up the flask to Jughead earlier when they were forming their plan, I totally thought that meant they were going to spike the drink and use it to knock out the other two...but no, instead she just uses her time away from the game to go look through their things and eventually she stumbles upon a tie pin which Jughead found was a link between Chipping and the nasty old guy Jughead suspects of being responsible for Chipping's death. Apparently they were both in a secret society at the school called 'Quill and Skull' (wasn't that the fat and skinny bullies from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers?). Jughead's theory is that the nasty old guy used the secret society's initiation (revealing deep, dark secrets) to get information on Chipping which he then used to blackmail him into committing suicide. Once they're alone, Betty tells Jughead that sometimes killers take souvenirs from their victims as trophies. Since she's practically an expert on serial killers at this point, she knows what she's talking about. There's also the matter of a note Bret dropped earlier - which Jughead really should've hidden once he picked it up, rather than openly reading it so Bret could snatch it back off him. From what little of it Jughead saw, it looked like a suicide note of Chipping's, but Bret claimed it was just a writing exercise they were tasked with involving getting into Chipping's mind or some such - which Jughead totally wasn't buying. Elsewhere, The Dicks have crashed the Thanksgiving party at the community centre and Archie's eventually made aware of who exactly they are and what they want. They've also brought a gun. Does nobody have phones on them they could discreetly use to call for help? I guess that's what the purpose of the storm is - so that the bad guys conveniently can't be stopped. I was impatiently waiting for Archie's mum to actually do something besides stand there and be horrified at her son having a gun pointed at him. Azura Skye/Darla is looking ready to shoot him as revenge for what happened to her son (that's right, Dodger was apparently her SON. Azura Skye looks about the same age as the guy who played Dodger, which makes this thing feel very odd), but then the deep-fried turkey explodes which causes a distraction and Archie knocks the gun away, punches some people, Veronica stabs the hand of one with a carving fork (go Bet-- I mean Veronica!) and finally Archie's mum does something useful by picking up the gun and pointing it at The Dicks, telling them to piss off. Rather than letting them go, she probably should've just continued pointing the gun at them whilst others tied them up/kept them restrained until Sheriff Jugdad was eventually able to turn up. Instead, once The Dicks have run off to threaten another day, everyone at the community centre sits down to say grace (despite the fact that Archie's mum claims that her family have never been deeply religious. And here I was thinking after the first episode this season, when Archie prayed along with Shannen Doherty where Fred died on the side of the road, this show was going to be different from all the other ones these days that seem to treat being religious as a bad thing). Though the following day she claims that the exploding deep-fried turkey was a sign Fred's watching over them, so maybe they're going to start being slightly more religious now? It's kind of funny when Archie's mum is all like, "Yesterday was crazy, wasn't it?" and Archie's all, "That was a 'normal' day for me, mom. Welcome to Riverdale!". Someone else who wasn't having a fun Thanksgiving dinner was Sheriff Jugdad and Alice, after they saw Veronica's parents walk into Pop's Veronica's diner (on account of their daughter having pulled their Thanksgiving dinner onto the floor). Sheriff Jugdad was all like, "Don't look, don't look! If we pretend not to notice them, maybe they'll go away!", but then Alice called them over and invited them to join her and Sheriff Jugdad. The four parents were surprisingly getting along for a while, until Sheriff Jugdad brought up the subject of him not wanting to be Hiram's puppet anymore, which then led to them having words, getting into a physical altercation and Sheriff Jugdad almost shoving a broken bottle into Hiram's face. I imagine Hermione was thinking, "We should've just stayed home and eaten the floor turkey." while Sheriff Jugdad eventually got his arse over to the hospital after learning The Dicks caused trouble at the community centre, and just as a doctor was saying they keep an eye on their patients, the ironic segue proved him wrong since Dodger was suddenly missing from the bed he'd been in. The comatose walk! The following day, Jughead and Bret are watching Donna confess to the headmaster about her apparent affair with Chipping (which she earlier admitted to Betty who confronted her about Chipping's tie pin that she'd found in her room), claiming he got aggressive with her after she tried to break things off with him. Bret reckons this means the mystery of why Chipping offed himself is solved - it was due to a guilty conscience. However, Jughead doesn't seem convinced. The episode ends with everyone (well... almost everyone. Naturally, Hiram and Hermione aren't there, nor is Hiram's other daughter - who thankfully seems to have vanished- and neither are The Dicks...actually, 'everyone' just means all the people who it would make sense to be there) at the community centre, remembering Fred Andrews as Archie puts up a plaque on the wall to honour him (did he just have that lying around, ready to go?). The next episode begins with Jughead voiceover telling us that after a brief hiatus, the main characters receiving tapes with hours of footage just looking at their houses had started up again, only this time the footage was closer to their houses! On the one hand, this should probably feel 'creepy' because it's something that could actually happen (someone recording footage of people's houses), but on the other hand...it seems pretty weak as far as scare tactics in Riverdale are concerned. I mean, they've dealt with WAY worse stuff than this, so it just doesn't seem that 'scary' in comparison. Something that is scary for all the students is colleges sending out envelopes, some thin, some thick (quit body-shaming the envelopes, Jughead voiceover!) and there's at least one student in the Riverdale High hallway who is reacting over-dramatically. Since this is a time of over-stressing for the students, Mr. Honey has asked the guidance councilor (they've had a guidance councilor THIS WHOLE TIME and only now are these characters visiting her??) to extend her office hours. Her name is Mrs. Burble and she's played by Gina Torres, who it feels like I've seen in a million different things. Some characters she's played annoyed me, while others were okay. I wasn't sure if she was going to be playing an irritating kind of psychologist or one that I found to be decent. The first student she sees is Betty, who goes to her after the latest WTF-ness Alice has been up to involving her finding out Betty's not been accepted to Yale...by going through her mail, and then going through her room (finding birth control pills in the process) and her diaries as well. Understandably, Betty loses it after this massive invasion of privacy and that's why she seeks out therapy. Of course, then Alice butts in on Betty's therapy session (just like she butts in on the rest of Betty's life) and so follows a majorly cathartic scene for me as an audience member and Betty fan, as Betty proceeds to verbally unload every messed up thing Alice has put her daughter through. It'd be too long a list to include here, but suffice to say she covers pretty much ALL of it. Naturally, Alice interrupts several times in an attempt to justify her actions, but Betty just plows through everything her mum's done and I was especially amused after Mrs. Burble asked how all this stuff has made Betty feel and she answered with, "Like I'm filled with gunpowder and I'm one " Elizabeth" away from exploding." (doing a bang-on impression of the way her mum says her full first name all the time). I was glad that Betty pointed out to her mum that saying "I love you." was not an apology. Basically, it all comes down to Betty wondering why her mum puts her through everything that she does instead of doing it to Polly and she emotionally answers by saying it's because she 'loves' Betty the most/ more than Polly - which is kind of a BS answer, since it doesn't change the fact that Alice has a very odd way of showing she loves one daughter the most/more than the other, but it was still a good scene with really solid performances from both Lili Reinhart and Mädchen Amick. I was glad to see Mrs. Burble allowing Betty to air all her grievances towards her mum, as I was half-expecting her to interrupt Betty several times throughout to say, "Take it easy, she's your mum." or some such thing - to which my response would've been "SO WHAT? She needs to hear all this!". Towards the end of the episode, some progress is made in the form of Alice finally paying Betty back her college fund that she stole (when she was involved with the cult farm) and leaving Betty's mail unopened. They seem to have reached an understanding, as Betty returns her mum's "I love you the most" (suck it, Polly! You're not anybody's 'favourite' in your family!). Now...let's see how long Alice respecting her daughter/her daughter's privacy actually lasts. Archie's the next one up, as he's been falling asleep during class (on account of his extracurricular activities involving being a masked vigilante). I noticed a difference between how Mrs. Burble interacted with Archie and how she had acted with Betty. During Archie's session, she seems to 'push' him more, making him angry - and that's when he finally lets out all his feelings. He's sick of being treated like he's dumb/an idiot (well, there's a way to fix that, Archie... stop being dumb/an idiot) and admits that he is angry. I'm not sure how much of a 'breakthrough' this is, since I don't think Archie's had trouble expressing his anger when he's felt it. We've seen him hit things and whatnot, though I guess this is the first time he's really yelled. So, I guess that's progress? His main issue is that he 'hurts' and wants to keep the people in his life who he cares about safe, but Mrs. Burble reckons he's addicted to his vigilantism and is adamant that he quit going out at night doing the things he's been doing, as it'll lead to him getting hurt or worse. Too bad Archie took away the wrong message from all this - ie. to continue doing what he's doing, only changing the way he goes about finding lowlifes to beat up, as now he's set up a 'Tell Me Where The Bad Guy's At So I can Beat Them With My Bat' hotline at his community centre which kids in need of help can leave a message on and that tells him exactly who to go after. Yay progress? K.J. Apa did a good job in this scene, at least, showing more acting chops than I think he did throughout the entire first season of the show. If nothing else, this scene showed that he has steadily been improving, acting-wise, throughout the series. Cheryl is called to Mr. Honey's office where he cites her missing many classes and dealing with dead relatives, a mum on the run and raising twins as the reasons he thinks she needs to go see the school councilor. He's also threatening to take her cheerleaders away from her and put an adult in charge of them instead. This appears to greatly upset Cheryl, so she's the next one to pay Mrs. Burble a visit. I actually LOL'd when Cheryl's name came up on the screen (as all the characters' names do when they visit the councilor, along with whatever 'CASE No.' they are), as it made me think "Ooh, boy..." and how this session was really going to test Mrs. Burble's patience, as Cheryl Blossom has enough baggage to unpack that she and her issues/problems could take up an entire episode (or several) all by herself. I was amused that the councilor just brushed off every one of Cheryl's insults she directed at her. Like with Betty's issues, there'd be too many things to list here, but it seems that Cheryl is worried about being crazy (hey, at least you're aware of your own craziness, Cheryl. That's the first step - acknowledging you're nutso) and Mrs. Burble knows most of what's gone on with Cheryl. The only thing I wasn't so sure she knew the full extent of was Cheryl and her 'speaking' to Jason. I'm wondering if she just thought Cheryl goes to visit Jason in the chapel and speaks to him/he 'answers' back, but she doesn't know that Cheryl's keeping his rotting corpse in a wheelchair in her house. I would think that if she were fully aware of that part, she'd do something about it. Instead, she points out to Cheryl that it's much more likely that someone is gaslighting her by making her believe she's crazy than the ghost of her brother she consumed in the womb is haunting her. She then suggests Cheryl get a DNA test to see if she's got any part of her brother in her or not (she later finds out she hasn't got any bro DNA in her and vows revenge against whoever's gaslighting her). I think out of everybody, Cheryl was the one who made the most 'progress'. Though Mrs. Burble does break the news to her that she is recommending having someone take over the cheerleaders while Cheryl focuses on herself/getting better. Madelaine Petsch really killed it throughout this scene, but especially in the one that followed where she broke down in the girls locker room and muffled her scream with her 'HBIC' shirt. Veronica, meanwhile, finds out from her dad that at least she ranks higher than the first bottle of rum he ever produced (as well as his diploma from Harvard, which she's applied early to) as his 'greatest achievement' that he places in a glass case directly in front of that portrait of his other daughter which he's put on the wall (replacing the Veronica portrait and one of himself - both of which he liked to stare at creepily). Via phone call, Veronica later learns that she got into Harvard and she's extremely cute/adorable with her jumping up and down in excitement after hearing this news. We even see it from the perspective of the students still in class (which she walked out of when she got the phone call). It actually reminded me of Reese Witherspoon's character of Tracy Flick doing something similar in the movie Election. However, Veronica's joy is short-lived, as she then learns her dad was responsible for her getting in. There was a very amusing cut from her starting to curse, "SON OF A B--" to Mrs. Burble saying "Butterfinger?" as she offers Veronica one, since she's come to her to vent her animosity towards her dad. It basically boils down to her being pissed that now she'll never know whether she would've gotten into Harvard on her own merits or not, since he bought her way in (with a bottle of rum, of course). Mrs. Burble points out to her what everyone (including Veronica herself, it would seem) knows - that she is locked in a neverending battle with her dad that she needs to break away from. Much like Archie, it would appear that Veronica doesn't take the right message away from what the councilor is saying, as her 'solution' is to try to outdo Hiram at his own business - namely rum. She pretty much says, "My rum's gonna be BETTER than your rum, dad!" and walks out, then he realises what she's been drinking throughout their conversation is his first ever rum he produced (she drank ALL of it? How is she not stumbling out of there?). I was amused by the shot of the open glass case and his reaction of disbelief. Disappointingly, it appears Veronica's never going to be done with her dad. The last person to pay Mrs. Burble a visit is Jughead, after nasty old guy from the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness gives him a scolding for not only his tardiness but also not applying to colleges, saying if he wants a recommendation, he'll have to beg for one from his teachers at Riverdale High because no one else is going to give him one. Jughead's session with the councilor is about him being too focused on his mission to prove his granddad was the original writer of the book series he loves so much, and not paying enough attention to the fact that his dad has made it clear to him that his grandad was a mean drunk who treated Sheriff Jugdad horribly. Mrs. Burble points this out to Jughead and he realises he's been all about the 'principle' of the thing (ie. nasty old guy being a plagiarist of his granddad's work) more than anything else. He comes to the conclusion that he should direct his attention towards doing well in school and later gives his dad a good long hug, expressing his love and appreciation for him. Of course, then he does both - he catches up on his school work and also does some digging, finding out that all the members from the secret society that his granddad was in have died from suspicious 'accidents' and the only members left are his granddad and nasty old guy. He figures this means they were murdered (Betty suggests he get out of the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness ASPA, as clearly something sinister is going to happen to him if he's not careful. Smart Betty!). Speaking of murder, the flashforward that ends this episode involves Archie, Betty and Veronica standing in a lineup with Bret and Donna from the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness IDing the trio as the ones they saw 'kill' Jughead. This whole fake-out of Jughead being 'dead' doesn't really interest me that much, since I know he won't be dead for really reals, but I have to hand it to this episode for managing to be one of the best so far this season (probably the best since the Season 4 premiere). Despite it just being the characters having conversations, it was still really interesting to watch (and actually quite satisfying, hearing them finally telling someone about all the stuff they've been through and are still going through). I tallied up how many 'successes' Mrs. Burble seemed to have: +1 for Betty's session, -1 for Archie's and Veronica's (since they didn't really seem to learn a valuable lesson from their sessions), +1 for Cheryl's...and I'm not really sure whether Jughead's would be deemed a 'success' or not since he did what the councilor said about catching up on schoolwork, but still hasn't given up his investigating. So, that means two 'wins', two 'fails' and one half/half. I guess for dealing with students as messed up as these ones are, Mrs. Burble did alright.
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 3, 2021 11:24:31 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 9: 'Chapter Sixty-Six: Tangerine', Episode 10: 'Chapter Sixty-Seven: Varsity Blues' and Episode 11: 'Chapter Sixty-Eight: Quiz Show'. {Spoiler}I watched these three episodes in a row, so my thoughts on each one have kind of blended together. I was pleasantly surprised that there was NO Jughead voiceover at the start of the first one. Hurrah! Though the first scene still features Jughead, as he's now scored the role of ghostwriter for the book series he loves so much, but before he accepts it, he has his (and Betty's) half-bro, Charles, locate where his granddad is at so he can find out the truth about the origin of the first book in the series and who really thought of it. After Charles has tracked him down, Jughead goes to visit his granddad and is greeted with a gun in his face. Then his granddad takes him at his word that he's his grandson and invites him in. He finds out that although his granddad wrote the original book, he didn't know what to do with it, so he sold the rights to nasty old guy and then after the books became a success, Jughead's grandad was kicking himself and taking out his bitterness on his son - Jughead's dad. So once Jughead's learned that nasty old guy got the rights to the books the legal way, he accepts being the next ghostwriter and even tries setting up a meeting between his dad (who got shot in one of Archie's storylines - which I'll get to later) and his grandad, though he doesn't show - thus proving everything Sheriff Jugdad said about him to be true. Jughead then gets an invite to join the 'Quill and Skull' secret society out in the middle of the woods, where he has to smash open a skull with a rock and inside he finds the most boring toy surprise ever - a tie pin. You get better surprises in boxes of cereal! And does this mean Jughead's now going to do Selma Blair's 'secret society dance' from Cruel Intentions? Bret's ragging on Jughead's 'ancient' laptop, which he stupidly leaves unattended, he scores an interview with Yale, but is hesitant to accept it because that was Betty's dream college and she didn't get in, then he returns to find his old laptop has been replaced with a brand spanking new one thanks to him now being a member of the 'Quill and Skull' secret society who he has to participate in a game of 'Secrets and Sins' with, where they reveal their deepest/darkest secrets while holding a skull (I guess they must have a supply of them, since it's obviously not the same one Jughead smashed in the woods). Donna's secret is about her being 13 when her uncle made a pass at her, but she didn't say anything about it and instead started cutting herself, while Bret's secret is that when he was 14, his dad got him a hooker and forced him to get with her, saying it'd 'make him a man', but he just cried throughout and then didn't tell his dad because he feared he'd kill him. The other two...we don't even hear stories from, as they are of so little consequence. Instead, it's Jughead's turn to hold the skull and he tells the tale of how he used to be homeless and there was a guy called 'Doc' who kept the junkies away from him, but then one day some drunk business jerks beat the crap out of Doc and all young Jughead did was watch and not help him - that's his secret shame (which he apparently hasn't even told Betty about). Could've been worse, Jug. At least you don't secretly eat flowers. That's^ not the only thing he's kept from Betty, though, as he also keeps the secret of him joining a secret society from her too, but she later finds out when Veronica's cover (she teamed up with Betty for an undercover mission to get confirmation Bret beat up Munroe in one of Archie's storylines) is blown by Jughead calling out her real name and he unknowingly outs himself as a member of the secret society to Betty who's listening in (as Veronica is wearing a wire). When Bughead next talk, Betty says how Jughead keeping secrets from her makes her feel, and this just adds to the fact that she didn't get into Yale, but later when nasty old guy tells Jughead to make his g/f stop writing an exposé that could 'ruin' the reputation of the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, Jughead stands up for Betty and says he won't censor her. They make up at the big football game, Bret gloats about Betty's exposé being 'killed' and she says she's not giving up. Winter has come and Jughead learns he got into Yale following his interview with them - which he tells Betty after they've had sex (maybe he thought that'd soften the blow of hearing this news, considering she didn't get in?) and she's all, "You got into Yale...yay.", clearly not over-the-moon about having missed out while her b/f got in. Jughead is then informed by nasty old guy that the board in charge of the book series he loves so much liked his first draft for the new book enough that they want to see him, but they want a new mystery involving serial killers. He asks Charles for help with that, and he gives him stuff on serial killers, but mentions Jughead could draw inspiration from the real life serial killer that was running around town - namely the Black Hood/Betty's dad - but Jughead refuses to use his g/f's real life family trauma for his book. However, later on none of the ideas he proposes seem to impress the board, so then nasty old guy butts in and essentially tells Jughead, "Use your g/f's real life family trauma, idiot!"...which he does. BAD Jughead! Bret, shit-stirrer that he is, lets Betty know what Jughead's done (after she outs Bret as having only gotten into the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness because his dad bought his way in - info that she acquired thanks to Charles doing some digging. He seems to be doing a LOT of that during these three episodes), Bughead have a fight, she's angry at him and in the heat of the moment makes it clear that a part of her resents him getting into Yale when she didn't, he thinks that means she doesn't believe he deserved to get in, and I was already rolling my eyes at this being an excuse to break up 'Bughead', but thankfully they (again) make up, apologising to each other - and just as well, as Betty needs her b/f's support as she prepares to kick Bret's arse at a quiz show. Jughead introduces her to a recruiter from Yale who has come to watch her in action, she wins, but then thanks to her mum's meddling (more on that soon), she is accused of cheating and her chances at Yale don't look so good after that. It's all Bret's fault that she gets found out, so Jughead challenges him to a duel (as per the rules of their secret society). Backtracking a bit, Betty's storylines throughout these three episodes consist of her first finding out that Polly attacked a nurse at the place she's been staying at to get 'deprogrammed' (apparently they're doing a shit job of that). According to Alice, it was an unprovoked attack and Polly nearly cut the nurse's face off (I was SO glad that when Betty watched the video of the incident, we didn't have to actually see any of that - not that they would've been able to show such a thing on this series anyway, but even still...I appreciated them taking the same route as The Silence of the Lambs did when Clarice was shown a picture of one of Lecter's victims - ie. we don't see it, we just hear about it/see someone's reaction to it. The power of imagination is enough). Later, Alice answers a phone call at home and then is put into a trance-like state, where she casually grabs a knife from the kitchen and goes after Betty. Thankfully, Betty knows the trick to breaking a trance-like state is clicking her fingers (just as well that worked), which snaps Alice out of it and Betty puts two and two together, which leads her to dead Edgar's daughter/wife, Evelyn, who's in jail. She says she used a trigger word ('tangerine' - hence the episode's title) on both Polly and Alice, which has to be said three times to 'activate' them. It seems very convoluted when she explains to Betty that the trance makes them believe they're Betty...but then they're being made to kill the actual/ real Betty who they believe is 'Dark Betty'. I was confused by this and thought they could've just left out the part about the ones in the trance 'becoming Betty' and made it much simpler that they're just being told to kill real Betty. Anyway, Betty tells Charles about all this, then they do something really stupid and he says the trigger word three times. Luckily, she doesn't grab something sharp and plunge it into herself. The working theory is because she's 'already Betty'. Still, seemed a risky move. At one point Betty imagines herself approaching the red door of her home, she sees her child self about to kill her poor cat, Caramel, and then wakes from this vision. She tells Charles and theorises that she can put an end to all this if she offs the 'dark' part of herself which she believes began with her killing her poor cat. So, again Charles says the trigger word three times, Betty goes into a trance and takes the rock away from her child self before she has a chance to bash in her poor cat's skull, then tells her child self she can go 'play'. What I would've preferred (other than not having to see the poor near-dead cat AT ALL) would've been seeing Betty help her child self save her cat from being hit by a car to begin with. Sure, there's no going back and fixing it in real life, but since it was just 'visions' or whatever, it would've been nice to have seen a 'happy' ending where the cat lived. Instead, adult Betty keeping her child self from killing her cat just means that the poor animal continued to suffer or that adult Betty finished it off instead. In any case, I'm hoping this'll be the LAST TIME we have to revisit this horrible moment in Betty's life. After attending the Viking funeral for Cheryl's brother (more on that later), she attempts to check whether her 'dark' self is still with her by saying the trigger word three times whilst staring into the mirror. Her mum hears a crash, comes to investigate and Betty claims everything's fine/her 'dark' self is gone, though her mirror has been smashed. Betty's second storyline involves her finding out she hasn't gotten accepted to Yale and writing an exposé on the football team from the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness after they beat up/injure Munroe because they know he's the best member from Riverdale High's team and want to sabotage their chances of winning the game. Unfortunately, she has no luck getting real hard evidence of the sorts of dirty tactics that the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness team uses (even after interviewing their other victims). This is when she conspires with Veronica to go undercover and get Bret to brag about/admit he was responsible for what happened to Munroe. Veronica dons her trusty blonde wig and calls herself 'Monica' in an effort to trick Bret (since he hasn't seen her before), but thanks to Jughead being there/blabbing her real name, her cover's blown and she doesn't get the confession Betty needs. Consequently, Betty is only able to use quotes in her exposé and Mr. Honey is not satisfied with this, so he kills her article and that's what leads to Bret rubbing it in Betty's face after the football game. She then writes another article which manages to impress Mr. Honey and during her digging into the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness, she found they have a world-class quiz team (led by Bret) who always win the championships. Her plan is to put together her own quiz team and kick Bret's arse that way. Charles thinks part of the reason why she's so determined to beat Bret is because he, like Jughead, got into Yale whereas she didn't. She wants her half-bro to find out why that is and she later learns it's because of her dad having been the Black Hood. She's super-pissed that even after he's died, her dad's still screwing up her life and goes to smash his gravestone (which hasn't been cleared of any of the graffiti we last saw on it back in the first episode of this season) with a sledgehammer. Alice was told by Charles and she runs to comfort her daughter. So this, along with seemingly everyone but her getting into Yale (plus the fact Jughead is using her dad's serial killerness for his books) explains why she kind of loses it. Adding to her problems is Alice providing her with a list of answers for the final quiz show, which Betty doesn't want nor uses, but she makes the fatal mistake of only tearing the list up and throwing the pieces in the trash instead of burning them to ash or putting them somewhere they'll never be found. Naturally, Bret finds them and after Betty's almost single-handedly won the championship (while Choni were wondering what is even the point of them being on the team since Betty's doing all the answering, I loved Veronica's words of encouragement to Betty in regards to Bret: "It's all yours, B. Destroy that pleated khaki trash monster."), he's pieced the answer sheet back together and Mr. Honey is calling Betty to his office. Despite her claims of not having used the cheat sheet, there's of course nothing to actually prove that she didn't use it. As a result, she gets suspended, her team's win is overturned and the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness are now the winners (yet again). Finding out Bret was behind this is what leads to Jughead challenging him to a duel. In the flashforwards we learn that Betty seemingly killed Jughead, possibly in a hypnotised state, and she's not dealing well with that (obviously). Archie comforts her in Pop's diner. Speaking of Archie, his storylines in these three episodes involve him wanting to get revenge on The Dicks (after he teams up with Jughead's dad to go beat their arses and Sheriff Jugdad winds up shot as a result, so then Archie goes and pummels Dodger to near-death, telling him and his mum to "Duh, stay out of Riverdale!" otherwise he'll kill them - and all of this is witnessed by the kids at the community centre, so that makes Archie feel guilty and think of himself as a 'monster' which is complete BS, since he's done every single thing he can to help them), then wanting to get revenge on the football team from the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness for injuring Munroe, and lastly he is dealing with his dad's brother, Frank, who turns up (what is it with all these relatives of the main characters suddenly appearing in Riverdale? If they knew the town at all, they'd stay well clear of it) and causes some trouble, getting into arguments and fights with Kevin's dad, but claims to only want to 'help' Archie and Fred's work crew - though he achieves this by gambling and wanting to get involved with Veronica's dad, which Archie says 'no' to. He also gives drugs to Munroe to help him fight off the pain of his injury so he can play in the football game, even though Archie said 'no' to that too. Archie's mum knows Frank isn't the best guy for Archie to have around, and Kevin's dad says basically the same thing, but Archie keeps giving his uncle chance after chance. I was amused when the subject of boxing came up and his uncle asked him if he boxed, as my first thought was, "That was so last season. I'm sure this season Archie will have several new hobbies that he'll stick with for a little while, then move on from." (I was also amused when Archie mentioned that he once boxed a bear and I thought, "You liar, Archie! That bear beat your arse before you even knew what hit you!"). Archie comforting Betty in the diner during the flashforward suggests the possibility that they may 'go there', but it'd be a really weird thing for Betty to move onto Archie after Jughead has supposedly 'died' (though they hinted something would eventually happen with 'Barchie' from the very first episode of the show). All of Archie's storylines were, as usual, pretty snooze-worthy. Veronica's weren't much better, as she clearly didn't learn anything from the school councilor and is stuck in a neverending cycle of her vs. her dad (poor Marisol Nichols seems to have hardly been featured this season, so I can understand her wanting to step down from being a 'regular' on the show in the next season since she's hardly even getting the screentime of one as it is). Veronica wants to make her own rum, she talks to her dad's mum who gives her the secret family recipe (and gives her son a well-deserved slap for being such a crap dad to his daughter), but after Veronica makes her new rum (with added spices to make it 'different'), Hiram has it analysed and it appears it's not 'different' enough, so that's the end of that plan...or is it? Before getting a new idea for rum, she is Betty's undercover agent in getting Bret to incriminate himself in the attack on Munroe (but, of course, fails thanks to Jughead). She also gives a performance at her speakeasy, but a recruiter from Columbia (which was Veronica's second choice, after having found out her dad bought her way into Harvard and thus didn't wish to go there anymore) has been brought there by Hiram and it appears as if her finding out Veronica has a speakeasy where she performs might hurt her chances of being accepted (though the recruiter doesn't necessarily think that's true). The song that Veronica sings - 'Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)' - is intercut with Archie beating Dodger to a bloody pulp (because, yes, they're just that obvious with their song choices on this show). At the football game, where Munroe manages to play despite his injury (thanks to the drugs Archie's uncle gives him), Veronica has a lick from Cheryl's maple snowcone ( not a euphemism) and this gives her a brilliant idea for a new flavour of rum - mixing it with maple syrup (of course! Though considering how obsessed with maple syrup Riverdale is, it's amazing no one else has thought of this beforehand). So she teams up with Cheryl and together they make their maple rum, though they're not allowed to sell it at the speakeasy (thanks to Hiram), but keep it there - that is until Hiram screws it up for them and leads a raid of the place, then proceeds to smash all their rum bottles (what a bastard) as all Veronica and Cheryl can do is watch. Since it becomes clear that Hiram's just going to keep doing this, Cheryl has the bright idea to keep their rum elsewhere and that leads to them using her mum's old brothel as a place to do their rum business. They make it into a gentlemen's club and even have Penelope working there (albeit wearing a mask to hide her identity from the customers) and Hiram's free to raid the speakeasy all he wants, but he's not going to find their rum there. It was good to see Veronica and Cheryl paired up, as I can't remember the last time they were any sort of 'team'. Though enlisting Penelope to be the full-time live-in manager at her old brothel seems a bit sketchy. Then again, Cheryl's been keeping her locked up in dead Dilton's bunker after she discovered her mum was the one who'd been gaslighting her with the creepy doll and such - and the way Cheryl discovers this is equal parts crazy/funny/awesome, as she appears to be gassing herself to death, holding the hands of her brother's rotting corpse and the doll supposedly possessed by the spirit of her other brother who she consumed in the womb, which flushes out Penelope from her hiding spot and it's revealed Cheryl's wearing a gas mask and it was all an elaborate ruse! Cheryl then proceeds to put her mum on trial for the various crimes she's committed (it was nice of Cheryl to remember her mum tried to kill the core four as well as the fact that she actually succeeded in killing Betty's dad in last season's final, listing those among her mum's crimes along with killing her dad and uncle). As for why she did all this to Cheryl? She's jealous that she's been spending time with Jason's rotting corpse and talking to him like he's alive...or something to that effect. Anyway, instead of turning her over to the police or just outright offing her, Cheryl locks her up in dead Dilton's bunker and leaves her there to think about what she's done, I guess (though she doesn't remain in there very long). While it was nice for the core four to join Cheryl and Toni at the Viking funeral for Jason's rotting corpse (that strangely never appeared to actually rot that much), being there to support her as she set it alight and said her teary goodbyes to her long-dead brother, I did wonder if any of them were thinking, "WTF? Cheryl's been hanging onto her brother's rotting corpse all this time? How did we not know this??". I also wondered what anyone who stumbled upon that flaming boat would think, but at least now that storyline is finally over with and Jason's well and truly gone. As usual, Madelaine Petsch did an excellent job of portraying Cheryl's grief over the loss of her brother and having to finally say goodbye to him. In the next episode, Cheryl had to deal with her cheerleaders having a new coach in the form of Ms. Appleyard (which reminded me of Natalie Dormer's character with the same last name from the TV mini-series Picnic at Hanging Rock). She doesn't make a good first impression on Cheryl, though, after stating that the cheerleaders will now be focusing on cheers instead of sexy dancing to pop songs (that's crazy!). I was amused by Cheryl's reaction/response after Ms. Appleyard suggested she spend a little less time baking muffins and a little more time in the weight room. Cheryl manages to convince the other cheerleaders to go on strike and tells Mr. Honey about it, but then later they've changed their tune and want to follow Ms. Appleyard. While it would've been reasonable to assume that they got sick of Cheryl referring to them as 'bitches' and whatnot, it's actually because of Mr. Honey saying they're banned from senior prom if they don't do what they're supposed to. Cheryl's solution? Lock Ms. Appleyard up so she can't come lead the cheer squad, which allows Cheryl to take over and they dance sexily/cheer to the song 'Cherry Bomb' (sadly, I don't think any use of this song will ever outdo how it was so fittingly used at the end of one episode in the first season of The Boys. That was just perfect. Still, they give a fine performance). By the following episode, Penelope's already being released from what Cheryl amusingly describes as "that petri dish of a teen sex bunker" so she can now work for her daughter and Veronica at what was once her brothel and is now a gentlemen's club. Damn it, she deserved to be imprisoned for longer than that! Anyway, I think that^ about covers all the main characters’ storylines from these three episodes of the show. Oh, I almost forgot about Kevin and him getting involved with making ‘tickle porn’ videos...actually, I wish I could forget about it, as that’s probably the MOST ridiculous thing this show has ever had (and that's including a crazy cult leader wanting to fly off in his rocket ship).
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 5, 2021 12:10:06 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 12: 'Chapter Sixty-Nine: Men of Honor'. {Spoiler}After Jughead challenged Bret to a duel last episode, I was hoping it'd be pistols at dawn (hey, in this show, nothing's out of the question), but rather disappointingly, it's just suggested that they do fencing instead, though Jughead's more for brawling. And so, like the Old El Paso Taco girl, they figure...why not both? And if they need a tie-breaker, then it's Magneto's and Professor X's favourite pastime - ie. destroying all humans/recruiting mutants chess! Also, Bret's gotten a restraining order against Betty. It was amusing when she wondered why and her mum answered, "Apparently you cracked open his head with a golf club.", to which Betty responded with, "Oh, right. I did do that." (funny how Bret was able to get a restraining order against Betty, when he was the one terrorising Jughead whilst wearing a bunny mask and wielding axe and that's the only reason she whacked him in his stupid head to begin with). I did enjoy Betty and her mum teaming up, as Alice is much more tolerable when she's working with her daughter rather than against her. However, it was a tad ridiculous when they were snooping around Bret's room and found that he had seemingly been making videos of couples at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness having sex without their consent (after a tip-off from Moose, who'd returned from the army briefly and told Betty about Bret's tapes as well as the fact that Chipping was the one who made him leave before he offed himself), and while Betty called him out on it, Alice barely said a word as Bret basically threatened to release what we were led to believe was Bughead's sex tape. I mean, Alice is a grown-up and had no choice words for this brat as he threatened to ruin her daughter? I expected more from Alice. I was really hoping she was going to give him a dressing down, but no such luck. The most we got was her shooting him dirty looks. Still, at least she and Betty spent some quality mother/daughter time together, so that's progress (which is why I think they were one of the only ones to benefit from their session with the school councilor). Speaking of spending some quality time with someone, Veronica caught up with her old friend (aka the one with a spin-off from this show. No, not Sabrina, the other one) - Katy Keene. It was nice to see Lucy Hale (as I think the last thing I saw her in was the TV series Life Sentence, which unfortunately got cancelled...as did her Katy Keene series, I heard. Poor Lucy Hale hasn't seemed to have much luck with shows post- Pretty Little Liars. Here's hoping she has better luck with her next show she's starring in). They catch up, have a fashion montage and chat, where Katy reveals her mum is sick and 'they caught it late', which doesn't bode well. Veronica's a good supportive friend and it was nice to see her interacting with someone other than her awful family. I'm not sure if Katy Keene will ever be released here on DVD, and I don't think I'd even be that interested in checking it out, but as far as 'backdoor pilots' are concerned, this didn't even really feel like one (if that was indeed what this was supposed to be). At least the episode wasn't entirely focused on kick-starting that show and a bunch of characters we didn't even know nor care about (like most 'backdoor pilots' seem to be), so that made it more tolerable. It was just a small segment of this episode and didn't take up too much screentime. Unfortunately, Veronica returns to her awful family (every time she says she's done with them, I wonder why is she still living with them? Can't she find/afford a nice place away from them?) and while she was in NYC catching up with her friend, her dad was finding out he's suddenly 'sick' with some unspecified life-threatening illness (which her mum tells her about). Nope, don't buy it for one second. I wouldn't put it past Veronica's dad to fake being sick just to keep his daughter around (even worse is the idea of Hermione helping him with this lie, since she's supposed to be the 'good' parent...well...'less bad' one, anyway). Someone else with not-so-great relatives is Archie, whose Uncle Frank has a buddy return and Archie's just fine with inviting this guy he knows nothing about for dinner and to stay at his place (since his mum's out of town). Frank's 'buddy' seems okay, but when Archie leaves for school one morning, he attacks Frank with a knife, tries very hard to kill him, Archie returns to hit him in the back of the head with a frying pan (he says he forgot his phone), but unfortunately Frank's stab-happy 'buddy' manages to escape. Archie finds out out that not only was the guy who tried to kill his uncle a mercenary, but Frank himself was one too and his stab-happy 'buddy' was sent to take him out. Archie enlists Sheriff Jugdad's help, and along with Frank, they lure the guy to the community centre, where Sheriff Jugdad arrests him (but not before the guy says all bets are off since Frank broke the 'code' or whatever about meeting him alone). When Frank's stab-happy 'buddy' pretty much asks Sheriff Jugdad, "If I'm in jail for being a mercenary...then why isn't Frank in here too?", his response is basically, "Who's Frank?" and he just leaves, but unfortunately he's put someone incompetent on guard duty and they fall for the oldest trick in the book with Frank's stab-happy 'buddy' pretending to be dead on the floor of his cell or whatever. Does anyone still fall for that trick? Clearly people in Riverdale do. Naturally, the guy escapes, Archie receives a phone call at school from Sheriff Jugdad informing him the guy has escaped, and Mr. Honey clearly hasn’t beefed up security after peeping toms and paparazzi got into the school, as the guy attacks as soon as Archie hangs up the phone ("Thanks for the heads-up, Sheriff Jugdad!"). What follows is a bathroom brawl that's like a much less impressive version of the one from Casino Royale (2006) which continues out into the halls and then into classrooms (with Kevin randomly appearing to more or less say "WTF?!" and shortly thereafter get his head shoved into a wall and knocked out for questioning the weirdness of all this) until the fight finally comes to an end with Frank arriving (after he'd seemingly left Archie earlier because he thought he would be the 'scapegoat' for everything mercenary-related) and clobbering his stab-happy 'buddy' over the back of the head with a school trophy (that guy just keeps getting taken out the same way over and over again, Maybe learn from your mistakes, dude?). Anyway, Archie is miraculously still alive after having his arse handed to him, and once he's home again, Frank says he's going to turn himself in for the stuff he did as a mercenary and even as he said it, I knew he'd nick off - which, of course, he does (and apparently Archie knew it too, or so he tells Sheriff Jugdad, then he reckons his own dad was a 'simple and honorable' man and that's what he hopes to be. Well...you've got the 'simple' part covered, Archie). Which brings me to another 'nick' - everyone's least favourite date-rapist, Nick St. Clair, who's back in town and visiting Veronica and Cheryl's new gentlemen's club. Although Toni is unaware of what sort of person he is, she's soon informed by Cheryl who takes one look at him and it brings up all the emotional scarring he left her with after his attempted rape of her. Naturally, Toni is going to make the bastard pay and this connects with Kevin's 'tickle porn' storyline (which is still THE MOST ridiculous storyline this show has ever had), as she enlists his and Fangs' help in luring Nick into taking part in one of their 'tickle porn' videos which they're recording (without his knowledge) and then blackmail him with it, saying they'll release the video if he comes near Cheryl/returns to Riverdale/assaults any other women ever again (I'm not quite sure how they're going to monitor that last one, but whatever). Choni and Kevangs (Kangs?) watch Nick's 'tickle porn' video while they all recline on Cheryl's extravagant bed together and laugh. Some comments I've read seem to consider it 'hypocritical' for the show to, on the one hand, present the videotaping of Nick (without his knowledge) as 'good' comeuppance for him, while Bret videotaping students having sex at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness without their consent is presented as 'bad'. To me, the difference is that the students Bret's videotaping without their consent AREN'T RAPISTS (as far as we know, anyway), whereas Nick most assuredly is. So, no, I don't feel sorry for the a-hole one bit. As for the Bret vs. Jughead 'duel' - Bret wins the fencing match, though Jughead amusingly takes Bret out with one punch during their brawl. It then comes down to a chess game (which is interrupted when Betty and her mum trigger the silent alarm as they find the video tapes Bret's been making, though he claims they're just of the deep dark secrets the students reveal as part of their initiation into the 'Quill and Skull' secret society), and although Jughead could've probably won at chess, he throws the game (after looking at Betty and realising he doesn't need the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness) and says Bret's more of a 'Stonewall man' than he'll ever be (which clearly isn't intended as a compliment), then walks out with Betty, leaving Bret looking like he's rather disappointed by this turn of events. The episode ends with Betty showing Jughead a video she managed to steal that has Donna giving a confession about her affair with Mr. Chipping, but she reckons it sounds rehearsed and is almost word-for-word the same thing Donna told her when she uncovered her secret affair back in the episode with the ice storm. This causes her to suggest that Bret might not be the evil mastermind they've thought him to be, and maybe it's Donna instead. I have no problem accepting Donna is smarter than Bret, but I'm dreading the thought of the show trying to 'redeem' his character and making out that he's 'not so bad' after all. Bleh. Episode 13: 'Chapter Seventy: The Ides of March'. {Spoiler}The episode begins with feeling the need to tell us it's 'Monday' (it's not like I can ever keep track of what day/week/month/year it is in this show anyway), Archie eats doughnuts and then asks Mr. Honey what chance he's got at applying for colleges, to which Mr. Honey pretty much answers, "NONE!". Well, can Archie at least walk with his friends who will be graduating? "NO! That'd be a hollow gesture and you don't deserve to walk with people who've graduated!" Mr. Honey basically says. On the one hand, he does point out Archie's been preoccupied with doing everything BUT putting in the work to graduate, but on the other hand...he didn't have to be such a dick about it. Also being a dick? The supposedly 'sick' Hiram, who's shakily holding a cup at breakfast and ends up spilling it all over himself, then when Veronica tries to help, he yells at her that he doesn't need help and thus ensures that'll be the last time she tries to give him any. Pissed at her dad, this puts Veronica in the mood for SEX with Archie in a school classroom (naturally). She says she doesn't know what their future holds, so she wants to make the most of their time together...by having SEX at school (at least find a room with no windows, guys), while at another school - the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness - there's NO SEX going on (not currently, anyway), but instead Jughead's being informed by nasty old guy that he's out of the secret society (because Betty and her mum broke into their vault of secret videos) and also that his contract with the book series he loves so much has been terminated because he hasn't delivered a new work by the Ides of March (which, apart from being the episode's title, is also mentioned umpteen times throughout the episode - LIKE, WE GET IT). It's not quite THE IDES OF MARCH yet, though, so there are still five days for Jughead to write a whole new novel. He calls Betty, fills her in on what's happened, mentions that the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness has a big party in the woods on THE IDES OF MARCH (so we know we're getting close to catching up with the flashforwards with Archie, Betty and Veronica in the woods in their underwear and burning Jughead's stupid beanie) and Betty suggests Jughead draw inspiration from the crazy year he's had thus far for what to make his new novel about. It's now 'Tuesday' and after Jughead reads to the group what he's written so far, they are unimpressed and nasty old guy says "ten pages of autobiographical hokum won’t save you." (though ripping off Betty's real life trauma with her dad being the Black Hood was okay?), but Jughead essentially says, "There'll be more than ten pages, you'll see!" (that's showing 'em!). In fact, he's so confident in his work that by Wednesday, when he reads it to the group, he also apparently reads their minds and can tell they're intrigued - especially since it's basically about them covering up a MURDER. Archie's involved in some boring storyline involving his dad's construction business that I don't care enough about to even mention other than at least the actor who plays Kevin's dad is given some screentime (between him, Sheriff Jugdad and Archie's uncle who buggered off last episode, it appears to me like Archie's trying to fill the void left by his dearly departed dad with other father figures - that's about all I took away from his storyline this episode). What are Choni up to? There's a 'high roller' at the speakeasy with a blank cheque and because of the lighting, the white wig and the glasses she's wearing, I wasn't sure at first, but then it became clear it was Veronica's annoying half-sister in disguise. Choni share a sexy dance with her. Thankfully, neither are fooled by her and they take her to the gentleman's club where Veronica's waiting for her, she confronts her annoying half-sister about the fact that she was obviously trying to infiltrate Veronica and Cheryl's rum business, figures Hiram put her up to this, then learns her dad trusted her annoying half-sister enough to tell her he was sick but she had to learn it from her mum. Veronica gets angry enough to throw her half-sister's wig at her and then storms off. This just added insult to injury, as she was already dealing with her flask she takes swigs from being found in Archie's locker at school by Mr. Honey and that was going to further hurt her chances at going to the college she wanted to go to, especially since a recruiter had already seen her drinking at her speakeasy, but then Archie swooped in and covered for Veronica, saying the flask was his (his excuse being he'd had a rough year, so Mr. Honey just gave him detention). Later, when he told Veronica (who yet again seemed to want to have SEX with him in a classroom - this time during detention) he covered for her because he had nothing to lose, he then wondered what was up with her being so horny all of a sudden and denied her another classroom quickie, which pissed her off. So, she's got all of that (PLUS the fact that she just learned her dad trusted her annoying half-sister with knowing about his sickness, but not her) that she's dealing with and later when Archie pays her a visit, he asks what's up, she explains her dad's dying and from Archie's reaction it appears he's thinking, "He's pretty spry for a sick guy." as Hiram's been coming to his community centre gym to work out. I'm not quite sure why Archie doesn't tell her about this...but I guess if he did it'd mean she'd work out her dad's not really sick sooner rather than later and the show isn't ready for this fake sickness plotline to be over yet? Anyway, all Archie does say is he regretted not spending more time with his own dad before he died and...that's a really odd comparison, Archie, since Veronica's dad is NOTHING like your dad - so don't been encouraging her to fall into her dad's trap of keeping her close by faking a fatal (and what continues to be unspecified) disease! Veronica's takeaway from what Archie said about giving her dad some of her 'strength' or whatever is to go antagonise him, calling him out on trusting her annoying half-sister over her and getting him riled up over her rum kicking his rum's arse in blind taste tests as well as the fact that there's going to be plenty of it being made. This does indeed anger him, he storms off, Veronica's mum and annoying half-sister are all, "WTF? Are you wanting him to die quicker, Veronica?" and she's all, "Getting him mad about something is more constructive towards his health than anything you two have been doing and I'm totally going to save dad this way!"...or something. Later, when Archie's making up for the fact that he wouldn't have SEX with Veronica in detention, he informs her he won't be walking the stage with her or Bughead as they graduate because stupid Mr. Honey cares more about him having missed classes than he does about keeping the school free of peeping toms, paparazzi and MERCENARIES. Archie has a plan, though - summer school, gap year, apply to colleges for Spring. I was amused when Veronica got a text from Betty asking her to attend the party in the woods that the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness was having and then when she asked Archie if he wanted to go, his response was, "Those people suck." (they certainly do, Archie). As if to back up Archie's statement, the group and nasty old guy have all conspired to frame Jughead for plagiarism, saying Jughead ripped off a short story that got him into Yale. I was amused that Jughead just assumed it'd be Bret who was accusing him of plagiarism, but then it turned out it was one of the two preppies who hardly ever speak (the guy one) and Jughead was all, "It was you?!...Who are you again?", then said he had proof on his laptop that he wrote his short story before he'd even heard of the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness. Unfortunately, that was his old laptop which he (stupidly) left Bret alone with for a period of time in one of the previous episodes and it's clear from the group's smugness that Jughead's not going to find it, as they've obviously stolen it. Again, Jughead enlists Betty's help and together they sit the group down for a lie detector test...except it's not so much a test for them as it is for Jughead, as Betty asks him questions and he answers truthfully, including about him writing the short story before the guy preppy who hardly ever speaks claims he wrote it. While Bret and Donna wonder what this was supposed to prove, Betty says it proves (by process of elimination) that the LYING LIAR WHO LIES is indeed lying about having written the short story before Jughead did. I was amused when Donna smugly interjected that it proved nothing and Betty whipped out her favourite special word (which she seems to reserve only for the most bitchy of bitch characters in the show) in response. It would appear the lie detector test was only the first step, as what's next involved in Bughead's master plan is...what else? Breaking and entering! After finding nothing in the room of Donna and the other one of the two preppies who hardly ever speak (the girl one), they move onto breaking into nasty old guy's desk where Jughead finds a story he wrote (based on Jason Blossom's murder) that he was told wasn't 'dark' enough for winning the contest to write the next book in the series of books he loves so much. He reckons it's definitely his story, just with a few rewrites. When they confront nasty old guy with this, he claims that the people in charge of the book series Jughead loves so much own every story he submitted and they changed stuff (keeping what they liked/tossing what they didn't), then had a ghostwriter revise it (including contributions from the other four students in Jughead's group). Bughead review a 'murder board' Betty's set up and wonder how Donna came into possession of Mr. Chipping's tie pin (which Betty found in her room during the ice storm episode) if she didn't actually have an affair with him (which Bughead have been theorising is in fact the case). Jughead surmises that nasty old guy took the pin from Chipping, gave it to Donna to back up her story and he's the one responsible for driving Chipping to suicide. Betty then meets with Donna at Pop's Veronica's diner and basically tells her all this that she's figured out thus far, hoping she'll admit she lied about the affair with Chipping and that nasty old guy has been orchestrating this whole thing. Naturally, Donna maintains that she doesn't know what Betty's talking about and leaves after only having one sip from her milkshake and then scraping some cream off the top of it as she goes. What a waste! I wonder if Betty drank it (though, knowing Donna, she probably ordered a really horribly-falvoured milkshake to match her personality that Betty would never drink in a million years) or Pop ended up tipping it down the sink, shaking his head at these wasteful 'teens'. Meanwhile, Jughead's writing more of his novel and Bret's there being his usual annoying self, saying it'll be Jughead's final night at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness. However, while Jughead says that when he goes before the tribunal, he's going to tell them about all the shady shit that's been going on, Bret is all, "Oh...did I say I didn't make a Bughead sex tape? I lied. And if you don't want everyone to see it, you'll keep your trap shut.", then when Jughead is brought before the disciplinary committee, nasty old guy says that Jughead has a choice - go quietly or fight the accusations and most likely lose. Thinking about Betty and the sex tape being released, Jughead goes for the first choice - which confuses his dad, since they'd talked earlier about him not letting the preppies win, and so he gets angry at his son, but Betty's smart enough to realise that Bret blackmailed Jughead with their sex tape. Bret and Donna then actually have the gall to say they hope there are no 'hard feelings'. Jughead totally should've been like Fat Tony from The Simpsons with his response. Bret and Donna - who, from this point on, I'm going to refer to as 'BretDonna' - then invite Bughead to THE IDES OF MARCH party in the woods, telling them to bring their friends (which doesn't sound suspicious at all). Once BretDonna depart, Jughead tells Betty he's got a plan (I think "I've got a plan." was uttered several times throughout not just this episode, but the next couple of ones as well). First, he has to go get Bret's leverage over them, then he'll fill her in. Cut to him grabbing a knife, putting on his Serpent jacket and carrying one of those bunny masks BretDonna used to try to scare him during the ice storm episode. Betty, Archie and Veronica are at THE IDES OF MARCH party, then (amusingly) Varchie go into the woods for SEX (there's not a single inappropriate time or venue for Varchie to have SEX, as far as they're concerned) while Betty goes in search of Jughead, who has put on the bunny mask and is attempting to act creepy towards Bret by not speaking (see, Bret, this is what you should've done on the night of the ice storm rather than relying on an axe to intimidate Jughead. Just standing there with that head of a bunny that looks like it's been abused is much more effective), which then leads to them both walking out into the woods to 'settle this once and for all'. Jughead removes the bunny mask and puts his stupid beanie on so everything matches with the flashforwards. Betty follows Donna into the woods, says she knows about Bret blackmailing Jughead into not defending himself at the tribunal, then tells her that being the daughter of the Black Hood means she's dealt with much worse than some evil preppies, so she really DGAF about some Bughead sex tape. After Betty says she's going to expose everything they've done, Donna seemingly has an ace up her sleeve in the form of learning the trigger word from Evelyn, who she apparently visited in jail (someone really needs to shiv that bitch before she causes anymore problems), though Betty points out that saying 'tangerine' three times no longer works on her. However, Donna says it's a different word and it's what makes Betty 'fugue' and hurt the ones she loves. After Betty's asked whether she wants to hear the 'magic word' (please?) or not, she really only has two (sensible) options available to her: 1) She answers emphatically "NO!" and then covers her ears, yelling "Lalalalalala, I can't hear you!" whilst running away or 2) She whacks Donna in the mouth so she can't say any words at all. Unfortunately, it appears Betty goes for a third (dumb) option - ie. allowing herself to be told the word that 'triggers' her. After having SEX for all the woodland creatures to see (as well as any pervs who are around - I wonder if Bret was out there filming it?), Varchie return to the party, ask the girl preppy who hardly ever speaks where Bughead are at, she directs them back to the woods and that's what leads into one of the previous flashforwards we've seen where they discover Betty with a bloodied rock in her hand standing over the seemingly lifeless Jughead who it appears she's tried to do the same thing to that she did to her poor cat, Caramel, when she was younger. Either Archie's in on Jughead's fake-deadness or he's just really bad at checking for a pulse, as he declares him ' Jugdead' and asks Betty what she did. "I couldn't take it anymore! I just really really hate that stupid beanie he's always wearing!"...is what she should've said. Episode 14: 'Chapter Seventy-One: How to Get Away with Murder'. {Spoiler}At the start of this episode, something happened that rarely ever happens for me when I watch this show - I was amused by the Jughead voiceover (though if they legitimately wanted to make people believe Jughead was Jugdead, I don't think they'd have him voiceovering. It's not like he's in Desperate Housewives, narrating from the beyond), as he almost broke the fourth wall. Shut up about your stupid beanie burning, supposedly-dead Jughead! Also funny was how he just casually said "three friends in their underwear covered in blood" - it was like you could almost hear him wanting to add to the end of it "...which is a requirement from the network when you have hot 'teens' in your show. Can't show them naked on screen, so what's the next best thing? Near-nakedness!". Still, I wasn't complaining about it, since it was probably the longest we've seen both Betty/Lili Reinhart and Veronica/Camila Mendes with so little on (whereas shirtless Archie is a regular thing in this show). Bask in the Beronica near-nakedness! I'm not sure when the show will next be able to write such a thing into the story as an actual plot point again. Anyway, now that we've rewatched that flashforward scene play out, we finally get to see what came after it. All three are driven back home in Archie's truck whilst still in their underwear, which is a somewhat amusing sight - just imagine how that'd look to anyone they passed by. They then attempt to sneak back inside their homes with no one noticing...and fail miserably at it. I was also amused at the three very different cover stories each of them came up with to explain why they were sneaking home dressed in only their underwear at the early hours of the morning. Veronica's excuse she tells her parents who catch her sneaking in is that she was coaxed into an 'intense' game of strip poker and lost her shirt, which she shrugs off like "Oh well. C'est la vie.", while Archie's excuse that he gives to his mum is that he went skinny-dipping at the preppies' party and his clothes got stolen. Betty, who gets caught by her mum and has to come up with an excuse for not only the near-nakedness, but also what looks like blood on her bra strap, says that stupid Bret spilled wine on her and she took her clothes off to soak them in a sink...but then later on couldn't find them. To her credit, Alice isn't buying any of this BS, but Betty just ignores her reasonable line of questioning and runs upstairs, obviously dealing with some pretty heavy stuff, thinking she may have offed her b/f...or does she? This episode is chock-full of the characters acting in such a way that it makes you wonder "Do they know that Jughead isn't Jugdead or not? And if they do know, then why are they acting like they don't in scenes when it's just them who are in on it?". My answer to that second question would be 'keeping up the charade'. It's been proven the preppies have eyes and ears everywhere, so if an elaborate ruse were to be pulled off, naturally it'd require full commitment from everyone involved. Speaking of full commitment, none of them really act as emotional as you'd expect them to (though at least Betty goes and throws up, so that's something). The following day, the trio meet up at Pop's Veronica's diner (now fully clothed) to discuss their cover stories, realising that they probably should've gotten their stories straight on their long near-naked drive home instead of making them up once they actually got home. Dunderheads! Also, Archie wonders if they made the right move in calling Betty's half-bro, Charles (which we didn't see happen) and Betty says they can trust him. Personally, I'd be more worried about discussing the possible murder/cover-up of your friend somewhere, I dunno, less public? So, they just continue discussing this stuff in the diner, Veronica wonders if Betty really did kill Jughead and Betty admits it was dumb of her to pick up the bloodied rock. Kevin comes over, all "Hey, guys! Want to hear about the weird stuff I've been up to lately?" and Archie's all, "We don't have time for your 'tickle porn' shit, Kevin. Piss off!", so then sad Kevin walks away and Betty's all, "You call that 'acting normal', Archie?" and calls Kevin back over who is now all, "Seems like you guys were discussing some pretty shady shit..." so then Betty's all, "Never mind that. What musical are we all doing this season year?". Once they each return home, Archie finds his mum chatting with her naval academy friend from last season who was impressed by Archie's ability to faint in the boxing ring and is now willing to recommend him for the naval academy, while Veronica and her awful family are gathered together to update Hiram's will - which Veronica just assumes is going to be a bad thing, yells at her annoying half-sister for putting this idea in their dad's head and she hits back that Veronica's a 'terrible daughter', so Veronica lets loose, yelling at them and no longer pretending she doesn't know her dad's 'sick', before ripping up the will and storming off. I was half-expecting Hiram to say, "But...I was going to leave you everything, mija." (which would've been amusing). Charles has supplied Betty with a pre-written script on what to say when she calls Sheriff Jughead, asking about Jughead being 'missing' and then commends her on a performance well-done, before giving her a bug to plant in Bret's room so they can find out what the preppies know, what they think happened and what they thought was going to happen. She finds BretDonna in Jughead's room and they try to convince her that she went into the woods with Jughead even though she remembers talking to Donna in the woods and then Betty says she's informed Jughead's dad of his MIA status. On her way out, the girl preppy who hardly ever speaks bumps into her. Archie and Veronica decide the speakeasy is the best place to have discussions about Archie possibly joining the naval academy, Veronica's dad changing his will and, oh yeah, Betty possibly killing Jughead. Veronica tells him about that time Betty almost drowned Chuck in the hot tub, thinking she was Polly and Chuck was Jason, then the following day she had no memory of it. Veronica believes this makes it seem more likely Betty did bash Jughead's beanie head in with a rock. The potential Jughead murderer in question has gone to visit Evelyn in jail (damn it, WHY won't someone shiv her already?!) and she confirms Donna found out from her what the 'magic word' was (thank you?). This was the perfect opportunity for Betty to use her own special word on Evelyn - I would've LOVED to hear her call her 'bitch' since she so richly deserves it. Alas, all we get is Betty asking what happened, Evelyn telling Betty that she already knows the answer to that and then she says they have a special cell in prison for b/f killers - which is where Betty will find herself soon enough (really? Special b/f killer cells? That sounds like it'd be a DREAM for all the b/f killers, where they can compare notes/enjoy each other's stories/bond over their shared hatred of men). Betty then goes to ask Charles whether BretDonna have said anything incriminating, but no such luck. While Archie's chatting with his mum at home (and she randomly informs him that her naval academy friend is more than just a 'friend'), they're interrupted by Betty's call and she tells Archie to go pick a fight with Bret, saying it'd kill two Jugheads birds with one stone - getting revenge for Jughead and getting the preppies talking, hopefully slipping up/revealing something that gives away them being the ones who killed Jughead. Archie obliges, acting like...well...however he acts when he's really pissed off (so not that much of a stretch), Bret is amusingly looking like he's shitting his pants when he sees Archie coming for him, he attempts to flee to the safety of his room, but Archie just slams him around the place and demands to know what he and his friends did to Jughead until Donna breaks up the fight, saying campus security is on the way and Bret claims innocence, blaming Betty for Jughead's murder (though he did amuse me by referring to Archie as 'Elmo'). After Archie's left, Betty and Charles listen in via the bug Betty planted in the room and BretDonna discuss what that was all about, with Bret saying that Archie wanted him to confess to Jughead's murder. Unfortunately, they've worked out that Betty put Archie up to this and speak directly to her via the bug she planted, saying she'll have to up her game and then they destroy the bug. Betty's peeved that BretDonna have something resembling brains and they're not so easily outsmarted. At home, Archie's mum asks him what him beating up Bret was all about (he should've answered, "Have you met Bret, mom?"), and because she seems to be very genuine in her feelings/emotions (unlike almost everyone else in the episode), and even brings up Archie's dearly departed dad in the conversation, he can't keep lying to her/is ready to spill the beans...then he gets a phone call and it's from Betty, who's creepily staring at him through the window of her house that's directly across from his bedroom window. She tells him all stone-cold-killer-like to not say a word to his mum about Jughead, pretend it's Veronica on the phone and end their conversation - which he does, then he uses Veronica's dad being 'sick' as an excuse for why he has to leave. Sheriff Jugdad's found Jughead's phone in the pocket of Betty's jacket after Jugsis suggested tracking it, they wonder why Betty has it, and her excuse is that he left it at the house, she picked it up and then forgot about it - this doesn't really satisfy Sheriff Jugdad and Betty suggests that Jughead be declared a 'Missing Person' (he wasn't already? I guess now he's been upgraded to having his face put on a milk carton). Elsewhere, Veronica's dad sits her down for a talk, where he apologises for her not learning he was 'sick' from him (but instead from her mum), saying he didn't want her pity, and I think he's playing her like a fiddle, as then she says she wants to do anything she can to help him and he'd really like it if she could get along with her annoying half-sister (too bad she doesn't say, "Well...anything but that."). Sheriff Jugdad tells Betty he got a tip from a hiker in the woods who discovered a bloody rock and he's going to check it out, Betty asks Jugsis for leftover fake blood from her stupid prank on Halloween night (continuity!) and then finds a rock in the garden which resembles the one used to 'kill' Jughead. As she's painting it with fake blood, she's on the phone to Charles and telling him that a bloody rock has been found, but he knows she tossed away the real murder rock, so this means the preppies had a backup murder rock and that's what has been left in the woods (complete with Jughead's blood and Betty's fingerprints on it, presumably). After Sheriff Jugdad retrieves the murder rock, Charles takes it to get examined, but in fact exchanges it with Betty's decoy murder rock. Veronica has discovered her admission to the college she wants to get into is being re-examined thanks to an anonymous tip about her drinking at her speakeasy, she knows this is the work of her annoying half-sister the preppies (seriously, her first thought was the preppies? I totally expected her to say it was her annoying half-sister who was behind it). She reckons she'd follow Betty to the ends of the earth, but since she's now getting dragged into all her drama, she wants to make doubly sure Betty's not a murderer. Just when I was thinking, "Gee, way to show faith in your friend, V!", she somewhat redeems herself when she and Archie meet up with Betty and discuss what really happened and Veronica states that Betty would never be dumb enough to pick up the murder rock (yay! You DO believe in your friend, V!). Betty thinks Donna used whatever 'magic word' (abracadabra?) she got from Evelyn to trigger her and then seeks out Charles' help since he helped her the last time she dealt with such things as hypnotism and trigger words. He continues to prove himself useful (though whatever happened to him conspiring with Chic against Betty and her mum? Has that plotline been dropped or is he just really committed to playing a long con since he's really proved crucial in helping Betty during all of this?), getting Betty to think back to when she was in the woods, causing her to remember she was last with Donna...though instead of using a trigger word, she blew some powder in Betty's face, thus proving Donna and Evelyn were bluffing about using a trigger word on Betty. The powder - called 'Devil's Breath' - leaves those who inhale it disoriented and Charles reckons if Betty did indeed inhale it, she would've been incapable of bashing Jughead's brains in with a rock and it's far more likely Donna put the rock in her hand. Betty goes and accuses Donna of doing exactly this, but she counters that not only does Betty have no proof, she and her friends must've helped move Jughead's body and if it's found, all the evidence will lead back to her, not to mention she's got a history of mental illness, so Jughead will become one of the 'Stonewall Four Five' and people will eventually 'move on'. Betty has yet another plan, which she discusses with Varchie (stop discussing information you want to keep secret in a diner that other people frequent!), she says that they need to make a move that the preppies couldn't possibly anticipate, so they're going to have Jughead's body found - though Betty specifically wants Sheriff Jugdad to be the one to discover it. We then get to see how several of the flashforwards at the ends of previous episodes play out - the one with the search party involves Archie drawing Sheriff Jugdad's attention to where Jughead's body is, while the one with Sheriff Jugdad and Betty IDing Jughead's body involves BretDonna bursting into the morgue to see Jugdead, but Betty pushes them back out. Two scenes unrelated to the flashforwards feature Archie's mum expressing how sorry she is about him losing both his dad and best friend in the same year, he can't take lying to her anymore, shuts his bedroom curtain (no more spying on him, Betty!) and then later Veronica confronts her annoying half-sister about being the one who gave the anonymous tip-off about her drinking at the speakeasy to the recruiter from the college she wants to go to. She tells her that their dad wants them to work together, so they tell him they're going to work side by side, but Veronica's annoying half-sister knows that she's hiding something and reckons she'll find out what it is. Oh, SHUT UP, Veronica's annoying half-sister! Someone else who needs to SHUT UP is Donna, who has another rendezvous with Betty in the woods and wonders why she would want Jughead's body found when all the evidence would lead to her. Betty proceeds to deliver an awesome, kick-arse speech to Donna about how if she's going down, she's taking Donna (not the other preppies, just Donna) with her. AT LAST Donna (who has seemed overconfident throughout all this) looks rattled - and it's damn satisfying to see. Go Betty!
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 8, 2021 7:43:15 GMT 1
Riverdale - Season 4, Episode 15: 'Chapter Seventy-Two: To Die For'. {Spoiler}The episode begins with Betty, her mum, Jugdad and Jugsis sitting at the breakfast table until Betty answers a call that makes her cry - what elicits this response? Is it because she's been accepted into Yale? Is it news of Jughead's 'murder'? Answer: It's a mix of both - she got into Yale because of Jughead's 'murder' (she gets his spot). Teary celebration! Or not. Alice being Alice, she decides to make a documentary about Jughead's 'murder', saying her went to a party one night and it ended with him 'dead' at the bottom of a ravine. The first person she interviews is also the oldest in the town - Cheryl's creepy grandma - and she asks her when the 'darkness' began to take hold of Riverdale. I'd say probably when the town was first built (which is basically what Cheryl's creepy grandma says). They're living on a Hellmouth, aren't they? At Pop's Veronica's diner, Cheryl offers her heartfelt condolences and says how the 'Blossom family curse' finally caught up with Betty (which isn't particularly comforting), then begs her cousin not to take her own life and Betty's all, "Um...I wasn't planning to?", but obviously Cheryl over-identifies with anyone who loses someone close to them and tells Betty she knows what it's like to lose her 'other half'. She has appointed herself Head of the Betty Suicide Watch, which Betty makes clear to her she neither wants nor needs, but that's TOUGH because Cheryl's attached herself to Betty's hip and offers to drive her to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness to collect Jughead's things (what is there to collect? His one and only worldly possession that mattered - the stupid beanie - went up in smoke. What else is left?). Okay, so he apparently he has some other stuff, which Betty packs up, including his 'Quill and Skull' tie pin which she puts in her pocket. Bret enters, tells Betty she doesn't need to pretend to be sad over Jughead's 'death' (since he reckons she caused it) and says they're the only two who are going to Yale. After he's gone, she goes into the room of Donna and the other preppy girl who hardly ever speaks. Elsewhere, Varchie are having SEX (because OF COURSE they are. When are they ever not?), but aren't sure of Betty's plan to antagonise the preppies (like she started to do in the previous episode). They're interrupted by Veronica's annoying half-sister who knows something's up with Veronica after learning that she delayed her attendance at the college she wants to go to (it was kind of funny when she commented on how she could understand Veronica getting lost in Archie's abs, Archie started pulling the bed covers up over said abs and Veronica helped, like she was thinking, "Only *I* may get to admire Archie shirtlessness!"), then she vows to find out what secret Veronica's keeping and tell their dad and I DON'T CARE. Go away, Veronica's annoying half-sister! Alice's next interview isn't Varchie (though it would've been amusing if they were and she just barged in there and stuck a camera in their face, questioning them), but instead it's Sheriff Jugdad, who really isn't acting as upset as one might expect from someone who just found their son's body in the woods. He tells Alice that the coroner performed an autopsy, the cause of Jughead's 'death' was blunt force trauma to the head (you don't say! What gave it away? Was it the gushing head wound?) and he's sent the murder rock off to be analysed - except, of course, it's Betty's decoy murder rock that she had Charles swap out for the backup murder rock BretDonna planted with Betty's fingerprints on it. Speaking of BretDonna, he informs her that her room is being searched and when she declares that such a thing can't happen without a warrant, Sheriff Jugdad whips one out and rubs it all over her face (okay, maybe not that last part - though he really should've). After he finds Jughead's tie pin, she turns on the waterworks and claims to have feared for her life because of murderous Betty who she and Bret reckon they saw standing over Jughead's body in the woods and accompanied by Varchie. This^ leads to another catchup with one of the flashforwards - specifically the one where Sheriff Jugdad arrests Betty, Archie and Veronica for Jughead's murder during the middle of class. Betty reassures Varchie that it's all part of the plan (though sounds slightly less insane than when the Joker said it in TDK). Oddly, I don't recall seeing a replay of the scene where they're all in a lineup (as per one of the flashforwards). There's a brief cut to Alice interviewing Pop at his Veronica's diner and he says how his family's been in Riverdale forever, but unlike Cheryl's creepy grandma who was all "Bad shit happening in this town is nothing new!", he finds it never gets easier when bad shit happens in the town. The three members of the core four who aren't 'dead' are in a cell together until they're interviewed one by one, and although Alice isn't allowed to stick her nose into the interview room, she films outside of it. It would've been funny if she tried lipreading what they were saying and just got all of it completely wrong. Sheriff Jugdad's line of questioning basically boils down to, "Did you off my son?", Veronica's dad and Archie's mum pretty much say "No!"/"You don't have to answer that." on behalf of their kids, then before it's Betty's turn to be questioned, she gets to spend some brief time talking to her mum with the security cameras off. Alice basically says, "I knew you were a nutbar, Betty, and feared you'd off someone one day!" and Betty's all, "Gee, thanks. Nice to know what you really think of me, mom.", but then Sheriff Jugdad interrupts and says the test results on the (decoy) murder rock came back and the blood was actually just corn syrup used to make fake blood (which is probably the second time in his career that Skeet Ulrich has played a character who's talked about such a thing - the first instance obviously being the movie Scream) and all three suspects are free to go. This no doubt made things awkward between mother and daughter, and Betty really should've given her mum the stink-eye whilst saying, "I'll take that apology now, thank you!". Donna informs Bret of what's happened and they work out that either Betty swapped out the backup murder rock for a decoy or that Sheriff Jugdad is lying about it (since they both watched the guy preppy who hardly ever speaks smearing Jughead's blood on the backup murder rock). Donna then calls Betty to tell her she's figured out her elaborate ruse and is convinced she's keeping Jughead alive somewhere, which she intends to prove. While that's happening, Veronica's annoying half-sister has prepared a passport for Veronica (under her alias of the blonde-haired 'Monica Posh') which basically tells her that her annoying half-sister is trying to run her out of town so she can take over hers and Cheryl's rum business. Veronica reacts about as well as can be expected, ripping up the passport. We learn via Alice interviewing Choni that Toni and Jughead 'spent the night together' (whether that definitely means SEX or not is, I guess, left open to interpretation), but the funniest part is Alice asking what Cheryl has to say on the topic. She knows it was just a one-time thing for them, and as for her thoughts on Jughead? Well...she does express regret over one thing she said to him in the past. After Betty suggests it to Sheriff Jugdad and her mum, they hold a wake for Jughead. All the main characters (and some recurring) are there, but then the preppies show up. Sweet Pea (hey, I don't think I've even mentioned his character since last season!) wants to tell them to bugger off, but Donna's determined to prove Jughead's still alive and she makes a comment about the closed casket being 'convenient'. Sheriff Jugdad gives a short speech about his son, while Betty reads a passage from Jughead's favourite Sherlock Holmes story involving the 'deaths' of Sherlock and Moriarty (gee, could this be FORESHADOWING something?). Hiram suggests Sheriff Jugdad take time off from being sheriff, so then he becomes Ex-Sheriff Jugdad since he quits (whatever happened to you not wanting to give him the 'satisfaction' of you quitting, Ex-Sheriff Jugdad?) after telling Hiram to go to hell - which I'm sure was more than Hiram could've hoped for. Hell, at this point Hiram may as well just make himself sheriff since he either appoints ones he can control or gets rid of the ones he can't. Donna decides to harass Jugsis into admitting Jughead's still alive (if only Jugsis had her trusty slingshot that she nailed Penny Peabody between the eyes with, that could've really come in handy here - as Jugsis hasn't been worth a damn since that first episode she appeared in) and that's when Betty's had enough, kicking out Donna who orders Bret to open the coffin (though Sweet Pea stops him), then Betty kicks out all of the funeral crashes. I did love that this was the third episode in a row where Betty whipped out her special word she reserves for the bitchiest of bitch characters - and the fact that she's now used it on Donna thrice must mean she deems her the BITCHIEST OF THEM ALL. The preppies aren't the only ones sticking their noses where they don't belong, as Veronica's annoying half-sister has been doing some digging and has found out from talking to Archie's mum and Betty's mum that Archie, Betty and Veronica told their parents wildly different stories when they returned home in only their underwear on the night of Jughead's apparent 'death'. She's all, "I want the TRUTH!" and Veronica's all, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" threatens to tell all the parents that they've been lied to if Veronica doesn't tell her the truth. Someone else who's getting suspicious of events is Kevin, who apparently believes everything he hears, and so he asks Betty if Jughead is indeed alive, as not only is Donna saying it, but so are people at school (if Donna/people at school told you to jump off a bridge, Kev...), then when Alice interviews him he says that he remembers back when he barely knew Jughead who was obsessed with The Adventures of Tom Sawyer in which the title character fakes his own death to see how people would react (so just to recap, the list of people who believe Jughead is alive includes the preppies, people at school and Kevin). Alice then questions Reggie, and he's angry not because of all this talk about Jughead having faked his 'death', but rather because if he did, it'd mean he pulled off the greatest 'prank' ever and Reggie doesn't like the thought of anyone out-pranking him (wow, you can really feel the love from Jughead's fellow students after his supposed 'death'. I'm surprised he doesn't get wind of these subdued reactions to his 'death' and come out from wherever he's hiding to yell at everyone, "THAT'S IT?! That's all I get?! This is some half-assed mourning if ever I saw it!"). We then get to see how another one of the flashforwards played out - the one with Archie comforting Betty at Pop's Veronica's diner, because she reckons it's making dealing with Jughead's 'death' harder since everyone's saying he's alive when he isn't (of course, Cheryl's eavesdropping). The next day, Barchie see that Cheryl's arranged a shrine to be made in Jughead's honour at his locker, then Barchie slip away into the music room, Betty says she just wants to feel good/better, Archie says he's always there for her, then he illustrates this by sharing a snog with her as Cheryl takes photos and shares them around the school...though she's 'decent' enough to go show Veronica in person. So then Veronica goes to give Archie hell for this, saying the music room is apparently where he takes ALL his women (listing off each of them: herself, Betty, Josie, Miss Grundy - so, there's been four in total...though it feels like there should be more. Did she forget Valerie?), but is willing to cut Betty a break since she knows she's grieving. However, Betty admits that she's the one who instigated the snog and Veronica quickly changes her tune from "I don't blame you, B." to "You scheming two-faced bitch!" in the space of a nanosecond, before telling Barchie to burn in hell, then Toni pipes up, "That's right, you tell them, girl." (cram it, Toni. You've had a hate-on for Betty from the moment you met her and seem to always be looking for any excuse to attack her. You've got Cheryl, and Jughead's now Jugdead, so make like Elsa and let go!). Alice conducts another interview with Kevin (wait...he gets TWO? I would've rather seen Cheryl interviewed again so she could remember - and express regret over - calling Jughead a 'hobo' that other time she did, when she referred to Bughead as 'Hobo' and 'Bride of Hobo') and she asks him why everyone's so quick to believe Barchie are dating - this is when the show actually fully makes use of the 'ship' names 'Barchie' and 'Bughead', as he says that there are a lot of 'stans' of the former and those who believe the latter should've never happened. Way to embrace those shipper wars, show! I wonder if Casey Cott who plays Kevin had trouble uttering those ship names or not. It would've been highly amusing if Alice had been like, "Huh? Who are these strange-named people you're speaking of? I don't think those are real names, Kevin.", but instead she asks about the rumours of Jughead being alive and Kevin's now convinced Jughead is for really reals Jugdead because why else would Betty move onto Archie? Donna believes the opposite, still convinced Jughead's alive and just wondering where Betty's stashed him while the two of them build a case to exonerate her from Jughead's 'murder'. Donna says she watched the Bughead sex tape (which, CREEPY) and from that she knows Betty can't go too long without Jughead. She's been stalking Betty, following her to 'that petri dish of a teen sex bunker' (Cheryl's words), and after Betty's gotten food from Pop's Veronica's diner, it really looks like she has Jughead hidden away...but to Donna's surprise, she finds that it's not Jughead, but in fact Archie who is in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker with Betty and she's interrupted them in bed together. They're all like, "Get outta here, perv!" and Donna rushes out. We cut to Alice asking Betty how long she's been with Archie and she says it happened just after Jughead 'died' (I'm surprised Alice didn't respond with, "Well, I guess that's better than it happening before Jughead died...though not by much. You move on quick, daughter of mine."), then she tells Alice something 'off the record'. Turns out the whole Barchie hookup thing was just to make Donna doubt herself, as Varchie are very much still together and he compliments her on her performance at school, though she wonders if he really did have feelings for Betty when he snogged her, but he says Veronica's the only girl for him (that's not a 'no'!). We then cut to Jughead, who's very much a rotting corpse alive... WHAT? JUGHEAD'S ALI -- oh, forget it, I can't even pretend to be shocked/surprised. After the biggest non-reveal/non-surprise EVER, it's made clear that Bughead have been hooking up in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker like Donna thought, but after her seeing Barchie there, hopefully she's now second-guessing herself. I was pretty amused that Jughead mentions how his STUPID BEANIE was what saved his life, as apparently the 'braining' he received (courtesy of the preppies) was not part of the plan, but luckily the stupid beanie was tougher than it appeared, as it cushioned the blow from the original murder rock. Since the stupid beanie hero of headwear went up in flames, Betty presents Jughead with a brand new one which is basically an exact replica of the old one (though she knitted this one personally), and as Jughead puts on his replacement beanie, he questions whether letting Betty's mum in on their elaborate ruse was a wise idea, though Betty lists off all the other characters who are in on it (the list is quite long, as it obviously includes Varchie...but also Charles, Ex-Sheriff Jugdad, Jugsis, the coroner - who supposedly performed Jughead's autopsy - and Archie's mum), so why not add one more to the list? Er...maybe because your mum's been pretty sketchy in the past, Betty? There was that whole cult farm thing, remember? *I* certainly wouldn't have trusted her...then again, there's no way I would've trusted Jugsis either. Are kids even physically capable of keeping secrets? Maybe Betty told her, "If you blab to anyone about your brother being alive, then he will end up Jugdead... for realsies!" to scare her into keeping quiet? Jughead has the same thought as Veronica did, and asks whether Betty snogging Archie meant anything to her, and she's all, "If this elaborate ruse which I've helped orchestrate hasn't proven my devotion to you, then nothing will!"...or maybe she just echoes the same words Archie said to Veronica (except with the word 'man' in place of 'girl'. So...Betty describes Jughead as a 'man', but Archie refers to Veronica as a 'girl' and not a 'woman'? You a-hole, Archie! And while we're at it, did you and Betty rehearse what you'd say to your significant others if they asked about the snog? Because it's a weird coincidence that you two basically said the exact same thing as your answer. It's almost like it was rehearsed...and there's been quite a lot of rehearsed things being said during this whole elaborate ruse). Alice, continuing to make a tough time for everyone even tougher, outright asks Veronica if she's worried at all about Barchie snogging when interviewing her. She claims that she 'trusts' her friends and the thought never crossed her mind (HA! - for two reasons: 1) The thought did cross your mind, you liar! And 2) Oh, poor ignorant Veronica, unaware that your trust in your 'friends' is somewhat misplaced), then naturally we see Barchie texting and Archie wants to text something, but then backspaces it due to thinking it might be overstepping to say what he originally wanted to say. It's official, BARCHIE BEGINS! Alice interviews this love-triangle-to-be and asks why the elaborate ruse? Betty explains it was the only way to get the preppies to crack. Sure enough, it appears they're starting to...or at least Donna is, anyway. She's still convinced Jughead's not Jugdead because she spotted three milkshakes in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker and this must mean Jughead hid when she entered. Bret, meanwhile, doesn't believe this is conclusive evidence (I mean, what if one half of Barchie is just a real greedy bastard who drinks the same amount as two people would? You ever think of that, Donna?) and thinks Donna's losing it...so she bitch-slaps him and not only reminds him that she's the 'brains of the operation' (I KNEW it!), but also says that if he undermines her authority again, he'll wind up like the preppy guy who hardly ever speaks (and now, apparently, never will again). At Veronica's request, her annoying half-sister finally makes herself useful by digging into Donna's past (I guess because it allowed her to use her nosiness for good rather than evil like she was doing every time she went sticking her nose into Veronica's business), and Veronica delivers a file to Bughead in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker. It would seem this file is the final piece of the puzzle (according to Jughead) and will allow him to take down the preppies once and for all! Episode 16: 'Chapter Seventy-Three: The Locked Room'. {Spoiler}The Jughead voiceover bitches about having spent the last two weeks in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker while he pretended to be Jugdead...though considering it's known by Cheryl as 'that petri dish of a teen sex bunker', I can maybe understand not wanting to spend weeks stuck somewhere multiple couples have had sex, especially if nobody's bothered to clean the place or at least sprayed some air freshener around. Hey, that sounds like just the job for Jughead to do while he can't go anywhere else! But, no, instead he's typing on his typewriter. Apparently there were two obituaries published for him (one in the town newspaper and one in the school newspaper), townspeople cried over them (it would've amused me if Jughead had typed up his own obituaries to give to Betty to pass along to the newspapers), and he watched footage from his own wake (since Betty had set up a camera in the room beforehand, as they knew the preppies couldn't resist making an appearance and watching the recording would allow Bughead to study them or something. What's to study? They're evil preppies). However, the 'hardest part' for Jughead was Barchie pretending to be a thing. I would've been mildly amused if Jughead had blown the whole elaborate ruse out of jealousy and gone to pummel Archie. And, okay, it would seem that Jugsis has officially redeemed herself, since we learn that she'd figured out Jughead was alive all on her own when Betty asked for the fake blood from Halloween and she heard her whispering on the phone with Charles. She told Betty she didn't need to know anything about what was going on except that Jughead was okay. So, naturally, Betty told her everything? She then told Sheriff Jugdad, after letting him know the murder rock he found was in fact the decoy murder rock, then she asked for his help with the search party. Another character who seemingly 'redeemed' herself somewhat was Veronica's annoying-but-helpful-half-sister who used her nosiness to figure out the secret everyone had been keeping...that Beronica killed Jughead together so they could be lesbi-gay with each other! That^ amused me, and consequently I'll no longer refer to her as 'Veronica's annoying half-sister'/'Veronica's annoying-but-helpful-half-sister', as she's now earned being referred to by name. Hermosa is a Beronica shipper! It also amused me that she was so nonchalant about the idea that Beronica were a pair of murderous lovers. Anyway, after she threatened to use her nosiness for evil again if Veronica didn't fill her in on what was going on, Veronica spilled the beans and used Hermosa's nosiness for good/her own advantage (by getting her to dig up the info on Donna last episode). In that petri dish of a teen sex bunker, Jughead's combing over all the clues to help him solve the mystery of the 'Stonewall Four', nasty old guy's classmates' 'accidental' deaths and his own attempted murder. Betty returns to help, she informs him that Charles and Ex-Sheriff Jugdad found 'him' (him who?) and Jughead decides it's time to 'go blow Stonewall Prep out of the water'. They achieve this by just walking straight into the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness (how is it Jughead wasn't stopped on his way there by anyone asking, "Hey, aren't you supposed to be Jugdead?" or anything?), interrupting the preppies' and nasty old guy's discussion of the philosophical novel Crime and Punishment (GOOD! I can't stand philosophical BS!). How I wish Jughead had actually said this as he and Betty entered the room... Sadly, it's not quite as awesome an entrance as that^, but I did like seeing everyone's reactions - especially that of Bret (who was so convinced Jughead was Jugdead) and Donna (who was so convinced Jughead wasn't Jugdead). When nasty old guy started to say that they 'all' thought Jughead was Jugdead, Donna really should've immediately shot up her hand and said, " I DIDN'T!". Jughead being Jughead, he goes on and on about how out of all the different kinds of crime stories they talked about in the group, they never bothered with the 'locked room mystery'. I think he's gotten himself a little mixed up here, as he describes it as being "Where all the suspects are sequestered in a room. One or more of them could be the killer, but the door is not unlocked until the identity is revealed.", whereas Wikipedia describes it as being "a crime (almost always murder) is committed in circumstances under which it was seemingly impossible for the perpetrator to commit the crime or evade detection in the course of getting in and out of the crime scene." (get your facts straight, Jughead!). Anyway, I kind of loved Betty's looks/reactions she was giving as Jughead talked on and on, then when she answered the girl preppy who hardly ever speaks asking, "What is this?" with "It's called 'Getting Your Comeuppance', Joan." (so THAT'S her name), I was amused, just like I was with Betty's movements towards the door as she proceeded to lock it. I saw some comments complaining about Bughead's 'smugness' throughout all of this exposition, but considering what all these jerks put them through, Bughead had earned the right to be smug and enjoy themselves during this prolonged sequence with them recapping everything that happened (both stuff we saw and stuff we didn't see). If you don't enjoy seeing evil preppies being taken down several pegs...why even bother watching? I personally found it very gratifying. Donna eventually points out that she knew all along that Jughead wasn't Jugdead, Betty asks for their phones (yes, we do have to just accept that all the preppies and their teacher just go along with this and the fact that they're kind of being held prisoner...though I think if they really wanted to, the four of them could've at least tried to overpower Bughead. Then again, the two of them are Serpents and know how to handle themselves in fights, so maybe not. We saw how weak Bret was against Archie when he pummeled his face. Even Donna was able to bitch-slap him. If anyone were going to try to take Betty on, it'd be Donna...but I'm fairly certain she'd lose). Anyway, Bughead proceed to tell everyone 'this isn't a story about murder, but about grandparents and their grandchildren and sins of the older generation being passed down to the younger generation'. Jughead reckons it started with him and Moose being invited to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness during their senior year, he asks if it was the same for his granddad and nasty old guy, then mentions how he was locked in a coffin during Halloween and after Mr. Chipping freed him, he found Moose was gone. He'd wondered if Moose had 'disappeared' like the 'Stonewall Four', but after talking to Moose and finding out that Chipping was pretty forceful in trying to get him to leave, it became clear that the reason for Chipping acting that way was because he knew Moose would likely end up murdered if he didn't leave. Another satisfying moment during the middle of Jughead's monologuing was when nasty old guy tried to interrupt and Jughead told him to shut up (take THAT, nasty old guy!). After Halloween, nasty old guy gave the challenge to write the next novel in the series of books Jughead loves (loved?) so much. Jughead found out his granddad wrote the first one of the book series and nasty old guy stole it from him. Jughead clarifies it was indeed stealing (despite claims that it was done 'legally') due to him taking advantage of Jughead's granddad and his inexperience. Betty makes it clear that he was exploited, and nasty old guy wanted this secret to be kept hidden because if it got out, it'd ruin the reputation of the book series. Jughead told Chipping about it, then the next day he pulled a Tommen Lannister out the window and all the preppies who watched it happen didn't budge, acting like a teacher committing suicide was the norm. Bret brings up Donna's allegations in regards to the supposed affair she had with Chipping, but Betty explains that they know all of that was complete BS because she used the exact same wording in regards to another teacher she claimed she had an affair with on a tape...except the teacher doesn't exist. To make a long story...less long, Jughead worked out that each ghostwriter who took over the book series was given the challenge of not just devising the 'perfect murder', but actually committing it. So when one ghostwriter took over the book series, they'd off a student, and then the next ghostwriter would do the same and that pattern continued on which led to there being the 'Stonewall Four'. Chipping had offed one student and then later felt bad about it, he knew the same thing was going to happen to Moose and that's why he chased him away before offing himself via diving through the window. So, that now brings them to the 'present' where Jughead became the latest student who'd wind up joining the 'Stonewall Four'. He asks which one of the preppies supposedly 'killed' him and then he says nasty old guy was how he got his answer - that they all contributed to Jughead's 'murder' (just like nasty old guy had told Jughead they'd all contributed to the rewrite of his story he'd found that they used). Donna's job was to keep Betty busy, Bret's was to lead Jughead into the woods, Joan's was to actually clobber Jughead with the original murder rock (lucky his apparently thick beanie saved his head!) and the guy preppy who hardly ever speaks (and now never will) was given the task of checking Jughead's 'body' for a pulse...which he failed miserably at. Where is he now, Betty wonders, and Joan reveals he 'grew a conscience' (much like Chipping did), while Donna claims he has food poisoning (though it's pretty damn clear that they offed him, going by what Donna said when she was threatening Bret in the previous episode). I'm surprised Bughead didn't immediately react to that with, "You killed him, didn't you?!" since it's so damn obvious. After Jug's head met murder rock, Donna blew 'Devil's Breath' in Betty's face, led her to Jughead's 'body' and put the bloody murder rock in her hand. They'd hoped that when Betty's friends appeared, they'd turn her in, but instead they helped her cover up Jughead's 'murder'. We once again see Archie declaring Jughead as 'Jugdead', but then he does what he does best...namely hitting things with his fists, in this instance Jugdead's chest, while Betty performs CPR, which revives Jughead long enough to mumble not to take him to a hospital. Donna questions why he'd say such a thing in the state he was in and it would appear Jughead could think straight enough after being brained by a rock that he knew the preppies were going to try to frame Betty and he wanted to 'give her a fighting chance'. Betty then called Charles who arrived with an FBI med-van to meet them after they carried Jughead through the woods, he instructed them to clean the scene of the crime and get rid of their clothes. They threw the murder rock in the swimming hole, stripped down, burned their clothes and also Jughead's stupid beanie hero of headwear (it was thinking, "Noooo! WHY are you killing me?! I saved Jughead's life! You bastards! ARGH!! Why can I feel pain?! How did I gain sentience?! AHHHHHH!!!"...or maybe not). As they stood around the bonfire in their underwear, Veronica asked what would happen if Jughead croaked and Betty responded they'd make a pact to never speak of this again, graduate and go their separate ways. Donna brings up her and Bret seeing Jughead's 'body' briefly when they tried to get into the morgue, but Betty reveals she's acquaintances with the coroner and simply paid him off to fake the autopsy and all of that. Bughead then worked on solving the mystery by visiting all the previous ghostwriters who answered whether they were guilty or not by automatically saying they wanted their lawyers. Jughead finally gives nasty old guy the chance to speak and he claims he never told anyone to do any murdering...not specifically, anyway. Jughead says nasty old guy offed three members of the original secret society he was a part of to protect the secret of him ripping off the original book idea from Jughead's granddad, and speaking of, the only two still alive are nasty old guy and Jughead's granddad...who Betty lets into the room along with Ex-Sheriff Jugdad and Charles. Jughead's granddad says that he was told by one of the other members of the secret society that nasty old guy had offed two of them, then the one who told Jughead's granddad about this got offed too. This is why Jughead's granddad dropped out of college and left (as he didn't want to get offed), but now he's back to take down nasty old guy who rambles on about being a 'builder' (as in Bob The?) and how he 'built' the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness with the series of books Jughead loves (loved?) so much. It then becomes bleeding obvious that he's preparing to pull a Chipping out the window, but no one seems to realise this until it's too late. I was half-expecting him to have a go at it only to be knocked backwards because Bughead had been SMART enough to work out he'd try this and so they had the foresight to have the window reinforced with something stronger than glass...but apparently not (for all your smugness, Jughead, you didn't consider this might happen??). Unfortunately, before Charles can make an arrest (hey, Ex-Sheriff Jugdad, bet you wish you hadn't quit being sheriff last episode, eh? Then you could've had the satisfaction of arresting the guy responsible for the attempted murder of your son!), nasty old guy leaves a nasty old corpse on the schoolgrounds down below the window after crashing through it. You couldn't have even bothered to put an air mattress outside, guys? At the FBI office, Charles has recovered text messages between Donna and Joan, who uses the old "diplomatic immunity!" excuse (because she's the daughter of an ambassador) and sadly this doesn't go the same way as it did for the head bad guy who used that excuse in Lethal Weapon 2. Instead, Charles just informs her that once she leaves the country she can never come back and her friends will take the wrap, while Joan is all, "What friends?". Donna, meanwhile, says it was Bret's idea to kill Jughead and that nasty old guy gave her Chipping's tie pin, telling her to lie to the headmaster so Chipping's death would be counted as a suicide, then she expresses happiness that nasty old guy (who she calls the 'true monster') is finally dead. Someone who probably wishes he was dead is Bret. After Charles tries to make a deal with him to have his sentence of attempted murder and possession of illegal tapes reduced, Bret refuses, Charles steps out, Jughead and Ex-Sheriff Jugdad (complete with brass knuckles) step in, then when Charles casually steps back into the room with his coffee, Bret's been beaten to a bloody pulp and it's very satisfying to see that smug smile of his has been wiped (or rather punched) off his face. He's now more willing to give up the location of the tapes, Bughead destroy them, and Alice reports on them, saying that while the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness remains open, its not-so-secret society has been disbanded. Betty has one last order of business in the form of confronting Donna, who's apparently not being arrested and is instead just leaving the school and taking over the book series Jughead loves (loved?) so much. Betty states that Donna masterminded the whole thing to get revenge against nasty old guy because one of the people he murdered in the past was Donna's grandma (plus, he also stole her book character idea). Betty threatens to out her if she doesn't walk away from the book contract. As far as punishments go...it's not jail, but I guess it'll have to suffice. At that petri dish of a teen sex bunker, Jughead's bummed he 'wasted' months at the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness and wasn't with his friends, while Betty points out, "Uh...we solved eight murders, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.", plus they gave closure to the families of all those students who were murdered, while Jughead's all, "Closure schmosure, I feel cheated!". It was amusing that Cheryl seemed unfazed by Jughead being alive and was much more interested in Barchie, which Betty insists was just 'pretend', though this doesn't convince Cheryl. At Pop's Veronica's diner, Jughead reckons the 'one good thing' to come from this whole fiasco is that it got his dad and granddad talking again, Betty doesn't pipe up with, " Again you forget that we SOLVED EIGHT MURDERS AND GAVE FAMILIES CLOSURE!", Archie suggests they make a vow, everyone else amusingly groans at this suggestion (since when have any of their vows ever worked out for them?), Jughead mentions that he and Archie obviously won't be graduating with Beronica since both of them have been slacking off with doing schoolwork (maybe you should've spent all that time locked in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker studying, Jughead?) and Veronica says that she and Betty will put aside all the investigating mysteries stuff to help both their boys study and graduate. Kevin then shows up to say he's posting a signup sheet for the variety show tomorrow and expects them all to participate. Well, they just got done with solving eight murders and the elaborate ruse of Jughead faking his death...maybe give them a bit of a break, Kev? I will say that although this episode was mostly exposition/talking, it was a mostly satisfying wrap-up to the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness storyline. Episode 17: 'Chapter Seventy-Four: Wicked Little Town' and Episode 18: 'Chapter Seventy-Five: Lynchian'. {Spoiler}This episode starts with Jughead returning home to find a videotape left on the doorstep (since this is apparently the umpteenth time this has happened, maybe they should've invested in a video camera secretly placed above the door to see who's been leaving these tapes?) and yet again it's just hours of footage of the house, then after he watches it with Betty, their parents and his sister, they sing about it. Then everybody starts singing about the videotapes left on their doorsteps. It's the VIDEOTAPE SONG. Veronica is trying to make sure her dad goes to his appointments with the doctor, but instead he works out at the community centre gym, Archie has to rescue him from the bench press (damn it, Archie, that bench press could've solved all your problems if you'd just let it!) and then he tells Archie to mind his own beeswax (bet now you wish you'd let that bench press finish him off, huh Archie?). Betty's trying to help Jughead catch up on all the studying he missed while pretending to be Jugdead (again, you could've been doing this whilst stuck in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker, Jughead!). She wants to keep him from getting distracted by other things and at one point they even have a fight about it because all she wants is for him to graduate with her, but instead of studying he's watching the videotapes and doing investigating which they swore last episode they'd give up for the time being. It feels like such forced/manufactured drama, as does Varchie getting into a fight because Archie didn't immediately tell Veronica about what happened with her dad at the community centre gym. It all just leads to a really unpleasant-to-listen-to song that features the core four singing/yelling at each other, and that's just one of the many songs during this episode that I didn't really think much of. Of course, the song/fight mainly exists to lead into a Barchie song that ends with a Barchie snog. Afterwards, Veronica and Jughead make apologies to their other halves for the fights, but by this point it's too late since the cheating has already occurred. Naturally, Barchie then have to sing about it (they also develop teleporting abilities, with one ending up inside the other's house) and we flashback to when they danced together at the semi-formal/we're treated to Season 1 footage of both (Archie/K.J. Apa looks a good deal younger, whereas I don't think I noticed as much of a difference with Lili Reinhart between now and then). And so the dreaded love triangle love quadrangle begins! Damn it, they almost made it four whole seasons before resorting to this sort of thing! Can't say I'm overly interested in Barchie as a couple, as it seems like the writers just did this to change up the pairings and, in doing so, piss off Bughead and Varchie shippers alike. Everybody loses...except Barchie shippers (though even they probably didn't want that ship to start off like this). Damn you, musical! You're supposed to bring people together, not split them apart (unless you count bringing Barchie together - in which case, mission accomplished!). I think I may have heard of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, but I have no clue what it's about and wasn't even aware there was a musical of it. Apparently it's too risqué for Mr. Honey's liking, but this is what Kevin wants to perform and according to Kevin, what Kevin wants...Kevin GETS. Of course, he sings about it, but I can't say I thought much of his song. Naturally, he's backed up by everyone at the school, as well as all their parents, and they gang up on Mr. Honey, attempting to force him into allowing Kevin to perform the musical he wants to perform, but Mr. Honey isn't having any of it no matter whether everyone dresses up like Kevin in drag out of protest or Cheryl sings on the counter at Pop's Veronica's diner (amusingly, she actually proves Mr. Honey's point that the musical isn't 'appropriate' and he asks her if she even listened to the words she was just singing. I will give Mr. Honey this - he got one good dig in at Cheryl by throwing her catchphrase back at her when he said, "As you like to say, Ms. Blossom...Toodles." after he'd refused to budge on the subject even after the big song and dance number she'd just performed in the diner). It takes everyone until near the end of the episode to make the obvious decision that if they can't have the musical they want at school...might as well have it somewhere else - namely the speakeasy. Earlier in the episode, Archie had signed up the core four to perform (this was, of course, before the whole Barchie snog thing - which makes it a bit awkward now) and he looked almost ashamed to admit that he'd taken it upon himself to call them 'The Archies' (why not 'The Beronicarcheads', you egotistical jerkwad?). I thought their debut song wasn't very impressive/memorable and they finish it up on the roof of Pop's Veronica's diner. We then end the episode on a rather 'dark' note, as Jughead watches one tape that isn't just footage of houses, but is a reenactment of his 'death' in the woods, featuring two people wearing masks that resemble the animated versions of Betty and Jughead, with the former seemingly killing the latter with a rock and doing a creepy head-tilt. It was the only interesting part of this pretty lacklustre musical episode. I haven't actually minded the musicals this show's done in the two previous seasons, but I wasn't overly fond of this one. The next episode begins with Betty writing in her diary, remembering when she and Archie were kids and she first met him (her comment about him having a cute dog but him being 'cuter' was total BS - nothing can be cuter than a Labrador! And speaking of, WHY does this show continue to refuse acknowledging Vegas the dog's existence in the present? He just seemingly vanished. WTH? Fred would not be happy about this). She has conflicting feelings after her snog with Archie, and the two of them apparently enjoy just simply laying together in that petri dish of a teen sex bunker on that cot that Cheryl previously said a lot of people have had sex on. While Betty's always had a thing for him, she's also grown/changed as a person since then and...eh...Cheryl pretty much covers it with what she says. Speaking of Cheryl, her storyline was one of the only ones I was really paying attention to/not entirely bored by in this episode, as it involves her and Veronica receiving threats from some hillbillies who reckon Cheronica's rum has been cutting into their profits and they want them to cease, but Veronica's convinced it was just a threat from her dad (you know, the usual). However, she learns that he wasn't behind it, as he knows those hillbillies are bad news, then later after they've smashed up Cheronica's place of business and Hiram finds out about this, he goes to beat up lead hillbilly who makes the mistake of calling Veronica a 'tramp', which causes Hiram to pull a gun....but he shows mercy, and this leads to him getting the snot beaten out of him when he tries to walk away. I thought this might've been a decent place to end the Hiram character, whose battles with his daughter to one-up each other have been tiresome for quite a while now. It would've shown character growth for him if he finally displayed some mercy and that's what got him killed. But, of course, this show seems to not want to let go of his character (or the actor who plays him), so we're stuck with him. Seeing her dad beaten up and hearing that this was a result of him showing mercy makes her decide he's a good guy after all and want to go into the rum business with him...but, naturally, we see that he went back later and finished lead hillbilly off by shooting him dead, which shows Hiram hasn't changed at all and I don't think he and Veronica will ever stop with their family drama until one of them is actually dead. Sad to see Veronica and Cheryl no longer in business together, as the show barely explored their characters working as a team, which is a shame. As for Veronica and her flip-flopping on how she feels about her dad from episode to episode...I think it can be summed up with two lines she uttered in this episode. The less said about the whole 'tickle porn' storyline (which was already ridiculous when it was just a minor subplot Kevin and Fangs were involved with, but in this episode it expands to include Reggie, Toni and both the football team AND the cheerleaders), the better. It's easily the most stupid thing this show has ever come up with...so, OF COURSE it'd make total sense to feature more of it, right? Basically, after Reggie's sucked into it, he suggests to Kevangs/Kangs/Fevin/whatever that they should start up their own 'tickle porn' business, which they do, then they decide to cater to both sexes by including Toni and the cheerleaders, but the guy who got Kevin involved in all this stupidity to begin with isn't pleased and wants a cut of the profits they're making and it's BEYOND INSANE that this is all being treated so seriously. It's like Cheronica's storyline with the hillbillies...only FAR MORE STUPID. Unfortunately, things aren't any better in Jughead's storyline, as it involves the return of (UGH) Ethel Muggs. WHAT did I say in my review for last season would happen if I had to watch Jughead sharing a scene with this psycho bitch one more time? I believe I said I'd cut a bitch and it'd probably wind up being Archie because he's always dumb enough to be standing around waiting to have his torso slashed/stabbed. Anyway, Jughead links her to the snuff film he watched at the end of the last episode, she claims innocence, but Charles doesn't buy it, she directs them to the place where the videos are (admitting she watched the Bughead one, which just further shows how creepy she is in her stalkerish behaviour towards Jughead. She probably just covered Betty's face in the video with her hand when watching and pretended it was herself having sex with him - I wouldn't put it past her, she's that obsessed), Charles raids the place where the snuff film came from and has it shut down (which the clerk at the store informs Mr. Honey about - showing he's somehow involved) and then Jughead gets a call from Cheryl who is upset after having watched a tape she's been sent that is another snuff film like the one he watched at the end of the previous episode, only this time it involves two people reenacting Cheryl's dad offing her brother, Jason, complete with them wearing Clifford ( not the Big Red Dog) and Jason ( not Voorhees) masks, and the one in Clifford mask turns creepily to look at the camera after shooting the one in the Jason mask. I felt so bad for Cheryl here. Not only would she have watched it once (when they received it), but it appears she had to sit through it again when Jughead watched it. How DARE anyone cause Cheryl emotional pain! They MUST DIE NOW. Episode 19: 'Chapter Seventy-Six: Killing Mr. Honey' (the Season 4 final). {Spoiler}It's quite obvious this episode wasn't originally intended as the season final and only ended up being so because of production on the show being shut down due to COVID. Anyway, this one's all about Mr. Honey and how the 'teens' feel he's pretty much a tyrant, as the latest victim of his tyrannical rule is Betty, who's worked her arse off getting the yearbook ready to print, but he says that's not happening anymore. First he says it's because she's two days late, but then when she mentions that she checked with the printers and they said they could still get it done, he adds that he hasn't yet approved its content and reckons he won't have the time to do so. As usual, he's pretty much a dick about it. Clearly, this is the last straw for Betty and she vents her hatred for Mr. Honey to the rest of the gang in the student lounge. Everyone soon joins in, and I can understand how they would view him as the 'bad guy' given that he's barred most of them from prom...though not Archie and Jughead, which leads to a predictable 'Jarchie' slash fiction joke (which, of course, comes from Kevin). Meanwhile, Jughead's got to write a story if he wants to get into the University of Iowa and the bitching about Mr. Honey session has given him an idea. Betty casually suggests that they kill Mr. Honey, and when they all give her looks like she's gone full-on 'Dark Betty', she then reduces the severity of the payback to just simply scaring him. That's an idea they're willing to roll with, as each of them contributes to the plan - Reggie's willing to stuff Mr. Honey in his car's trunk (after he TP'd Reggie's car, 'Bella', on Halloween as revenge for Reggie TPing his office), Veronica offers up her family's cabin in the woods where they can make Mr. Honey think he's going to die, and Cheryl reminds her of that time they 'maple-boarded' her 'mumsie' - which she thinks would be an appropriate punishment for Mr. Honey. It's like the scene in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring where they're all "You have my sword.", "And you have my bow." "And MY AXE!"...only far more psycho. Reggie's more 'old school' and just goes for a 'classic senior prank' in the form of putting glue on Mr. Honey's chair so that when he sits, he finds he's stuck to it (fast-acting glue, apparently) and then when he tries to use the phone to call for help, his hand becomes stuck to it too, so then he yells for the old lady secretary and is amusingly wheeled out in his chair he's stuck to, which seems to satisfy everyone...except Betty, who is sounding more and more like she's embracing her 'dark' self. When Betty wakes up the next morning, Jughead's started writing his story and it begins with Archie, Jughead and Reggie kidnapping Mr. Honey whilst wearing those bunny masks which seemed to be the popular thing to wear this season. Unfortunately, they're not very good kidnappers (I wonder how the real Archie and Reggie would feel after reading how incompetent Jughead portrays them in his story?), as they've somehow misplaced Mr. Honey's glasses. Not that it matters much, since he already knows from their voices who they are and that the girls are involved in this whole kidnapping plot too, so Reggie pulls off his bunny mask (I was amused at how over-the-top/cheesy Archie's line to Reggie was in reference to Mr. Honey - "Dude, he played you like a cheap violin!". I don't think real Archie would ever utter such a thing) and then Mr. Honey is riling him up, reaching the point where Reggie starts pummeling him (he asks if that's what Reggie's dad does to him), then the others calm Reggie down and get him out of there. It's too bad we never got to see Mr. Honey wear a bunny mask, because then I could've referred to him as 'Mr. Honeybunny' (and I'm sure Betty would've liked him to suffer the same fate as Mr. Honeybunny did in The Simpsons too). Back in reality, Betty tells Jughead she loves how 'dark' his story is so far, but then she gets a call from Charles and has to go see him while Jughead continues writing his story where next up on Guarding Mr. Honey Duty is Cheryl, who he tries to convince to let him go, saying it's not too late/she can still make it 'right', though Cheryl believes they are indeed making things 'right' by doing what they're doing to him, as she's still sore about being banned from prom and he reminds her she locked the cheerleaders' coach, Ms. Appleyard, in a room (according to him, she had a panic attack and quit - which explains why we never saw her again after that one episode). Cheryl reckons she'll only release him if he makes a video saying all of them can go to prom and that he won't punish them for what they've done to him, but his counteroffer is that she call the police, and although they'll all get into trouble, it won't be as bad as it would be if they don't let him go. She's all, "I like my offer better. Toodles!" and is gone after he's made it clear he won't do the video she wants him to. Back in reality, Charles wanted Betty to come see another snuff film which was delivered to the mum of Midge (who died during the first musical episode of the show back in Season 2) and it's the footage of her actual death put side-by-side with another creepy mask-wearing reenactment. In the story, Varchie go to check on Mr. Honey, but find him unconscious on the floor, and I was amused that in Jughead's story Archie is asking whether Mr. Honey has a pulse and Veronica is the one to check it since Archie proved his inability to accurately tell whether someone's got a pulse or not when he thought Jughead was Jugdead after his 'murder' (which proved to be a false diagnosis of deadness). However, Mr. Honey really does seem to be dead...at least in the story. In reality, though, he's returned to school after being separated from his chair and phone, announcing that he's cancelling prom unless the people responsible for gluing him to parts of his office come forward. This leads to Cheryl demanding Reggie come clean about what he did to Mr. Honey, as a cancelled prom means she has nothing to 'crash' (like she'd planned on doing), Reggie points out he did what he did for ALL of them, then Archie tries to get Cheryl not to turn on Reggie and says they need to "think tactically" about their next move...before immediately looking to Betty ( he knows she's the one with the plan). Her suggestion is they find whatever dirt they can on Mr. Honey and, displaying an eerie calmness, she advises that no one panic - ironic segue into the story where all the characters are panicking over Mr. Honey being dead...well...all except Betty, of course, who says she refuses to let this 'accident' ruin their lives since they've all got future plans. Veronica asks who's got experience burying a dead body and everyone (except Reggie) raises their hands, which I thought was amusing. Back in reality, Betty's found out that Mr. Honey has a history of cancelling proms at the different schools he's been at and all the 'teens' seek their parents' help in forcing Mr. Honey to reinstate prom - this leads to a mildly amusing slow-mo power walk down the halls of the school involving all the parentals, and each of them more or less verbally threaten Mr. Honey (except for Kevin's dad and Ex-Sheriff Jugdad, who claim they are 'just the muscle' and stand there, attempting to physically intimidate him instead) and then it apparently comes down to a vote. Elsewhere, Betty's reading Jughead's story that is up to the part where Archie, Jughead and Reggie are preparing to dig a hole and fill it with dead Mr. Honey. I think this is where, back in reality, Cheryl interrupts Bughead and amusingly refers to them as the same thing she's referred to them in the past (and it's even funnier when you factor in that Cheryl claimed to be 'sorry' she called Jughead this back when she thought he was Jugdead). At Pop's Veronica's diner, Cheryl's standing on one of the tables (which she seemingly likes to do a lot, as I remember her only recently standing on the diner's counter during her song in the musical episode, though it can't be very hygienic since people eat off those surfaces) and announces that prom is back on. Everyone's present and there are cheesy speeches from both the 'teens' and their parents. Honestly, this part felt more 'fake' than Jughead's story did. I actually was half-expecting Jughead's story to turn out to be the 'reality' and everything we thought was going on in reality was in fact his story. However, some reasons that wouldn't have quite worked included the fact that then all these students would've been responsible for a principal's death, plus the fact that they weren't exactly acting entirely normal (I wonder why Betty wasn't more weirded out at Jughead portraying her as a cold merciless killer, like her dad was, when reading his story?). Anyway, the actual story continues with Mr. Honey now buried and Reggie being unable to keep it together afterwards, as he's feeling guilty. He freaks out, some of the others tell him to shut up (Archie especially gets angry/physical with him about keeping his trap shut) and then Kevin makes his cameo in the story (if Kevin ever read this, he'd be like, "Gee, thanks, Jughead. I really appreciate the one line you gave me.") to inform everyone that a camper in the woods found Mr. Honey's glasses. Art really does imitate life (or is it supposed to be the other way around?), as in reality Kevin shows up to inform Bughead that Mr. Honey wants to see them. He's with Charles, and they proceed to show Bughead a tape that's been sent which features footage exploring the empty school (that's obviously been shot when no one else was there). Mr. Honey takes this as a threat towards the school and everyone in it, and now he has a good solid reason for cancelling prom. However, Bughead aren't convinced by this video and suspect Mr. Honey made it (which they later get confirmation of, since they spot his reflection is some glass when rewatching the video) just so he could cancel prom for really reals this time. They confront him about it, he naturally denies it and claims that although they've viewed him as being 'too hard' on them or whatever, he's just been preparing them for the outside world...or something. Bughead have no time for Honey's BS and already reported him to the school board. While things are looking 'up' in reality, in the story things are very much going in the opposite direction, as it would seem Reggie has died (it was kind of funny how there was no lead-in to it, they just mention it casually). Interestingly, Cheryl is the one who is being portrayed as the most upset over Reggie's death in the story, and Veronica's not happy about it either, while Bughead and Archie (hilariously SO un-Archie-like with his attitude) are pretty blasé about cutting Reggie's brakes. I think I'd have liked to see more episodes set in Jughead's story universe, as I could totally envision Bughead becoming like this deranged murderous couple who get a taste for it and go on a killing spree. They'd probably keep trying to ditch Archie who tagged along. Either that or they'd become a murder threesome (a love triangle of a different kind). Alas, we cut back to reality and Jughead's assuring Betty he'll change all the names of the characters before submitting his story to the University of Iowa (here's hoping he's more creative than simply changing them to things like 'Alfie', 'Betsy', 'Monica', 'Lughead', 'Beryl' and 'Ritchie'). Kevin shows up again to remind everyone of his existence and also to inform them that Mr. Honey's finally been fired. All the characters involved in Jughead's story are there to see Mr. Honey off, he defends everything he's done (including making the fake tape just to have an excuse to cancel prom) as being in their 'best interests' or whatever because all the crazy shit that goes down at that school AIN'T NORMAL, but then Betty says, "Well, it's normal for us, which is why we had to stop you.” (that really says it all. It's like with people who watch this show and criticise it for getting 'too crazy/bizarre' or whatever. To *us* it might seem like what goes on in the town of Riverdale is weird/not normal, but for the characters who live there...it is what it is). Anyway, it appears Mr. Honey's getting the last laugh, since he reckons he was prepared for being fired and will now be headmaster at...the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness! Everyone basks in the warm glowing warming glow of a school without Mr. Honey...but then old lady secretary has to come and ruin it by ranting about how Mr. Honey did SO MUCH for the school, listing off things that we never actually saw happen (maybe if we'd SEEN some of these 'acts of kindness', it might've made a difference, but all we saw was him being a supreme a-hole who seemingly had a vendetta against this group of students and gave off creeper vibes when he interacted with Kevin, then Reggie, one-on-one during Halloween) and SHUT UP, OLD LADY! This is the most dialogue she's ever gotten...and here's hoping it's the last, as I just couldn't stand her (who knows, maybe Mr. Honey made her feel 'special' or whatever and that's why she defends him so strongly?). Anyway, it's unfortunate that SHUT UP OLD LADY's words have an impact on Jughead's story (I guess it's like a commentary on how fans' making their feelings known online sometimes impact the writers of shows...or maybe not) and he changes his story so that in it their characters take Mr. Honey to the hospital instead of burying him. Lame! When Betty asks why the change, he cites SHUT UP OLD LADY's words for making him see he was reveling in the darkness of Riverdale with his original ending and enjoying the suffering of another person (it was fiction!), while Betty (as clever as ever) works out his change of heart was more likely because of a letter SHUT UP OLD LADY gave him during her big speech that Mr. Honey wrote to the University of Iowa (was it a recommendation they accept Jughead or was it him telling them "By no means accept this student. He's pretentious and has a psycho g/f and wears a stupid beanie! Avoid at all costs!"? Who knows?). Before he can open it, Jugsis calls them to say they've received another video tape at home, and when they watch it they see the cabin where Veronica's mum offed Replacement Sheriff last season. So, what do Bughead do? Naturally they go to pay a visit to the creepy cabin in the middle of nowhere, find someone's been staying there and then get the hell out of there before they're axe-murdered stay to play a video tape which depicts a bunch of creepos wearing masks of all the gang from Jughead's story, and they're slowly walking towards someone wearing a Mr. Honey mask, then proceed to give him the Julius Caesar treatment, before they all look at the camera and do a creepy head-tilt in unison. Dang it! Things were just getting interesting (after the last two episodes were pretty blah), and now I have to wait until who-knows-when for Season 5 to be released here on DVD! I thought this was an interesting idea for an episode, but it definitely felt like things were cut short. I wonder if what the writers had planned for the last few episodes of this season will now end up being the first three episodes of next season or whether they'll revise things and stretch out the mystery of these masked psychos (as it'd maybe feel a bit odd for the mystery to be solved in the third episode of the new season. Then again, they took care of Edgar by the third episode of this season, so I guess it's possible). Due to this not being intended as the season final, it doesn't really compare to the actual finals of the three previous seasons, but at least this season didn't end on either of the two previous episodes (which would've sucked). Final thoughts on this fourth season as a whole:Well, it was noticeable that they ditched any hints of the 'supernatural' this season (after some people complained about the inclusion of such things last season) and therefore it was slightly less insane than Season 3. I thought this season started off well with an excellent memorial episode for Luke Perry, and I enjoyed the conclusion to Edgar's story...but then things got a bit less interesting. Honestly, I hadn't expected last season's cliffhanger about Jughead's 'death' to be so involved with the Clearly Sinister School of Pretentiousness storyline this season. It caught me unawares that it played such a big part and became the main story arc. I do think the show managed to have everything come together pretty well with a satisfactory wrap-up of the mystery, though it was unexpected that it happened before the end. The last few episodes almost felt 'tacked on', but I guess they were originally intended to lead into finishing off the mysterious videotape plotline (if only it hadn't been for COVID). As for the characters, I was somewhat disappointed that yet again it felt like they spent the majority of the season separated. I thought the show had learned their lesson from last season that the 'teens' are at their best when they're all together - that's why this episode felt 'old school'/like Season 1, because they all interacted as a group. I think this season did a decent job of not just having Archie mourn Fred for a while and then basically forget about him. Sprinkled throughout the season there were mentions of Fred and it was clear that Archie was always missing him (though would it have KILLED the show to have at least mentioned what happened to Vegas the dog? He was an important character, damn it! Just because he has four legs instead of two doesn't mean he deserves to be treated like he never existed! Correct this wrong next season, show!). While Archie has 'grown' as a character in some respects, in others he's the same old Archie. He makes boneheaded decisions, likes to solve most problems with his fists and has anger issues at times, but he also still shows he cares and wants to help people out (sometimes when they don't even deserve it). His biggest 'crime' this season was the whole Barchie snog thing. Speaking of... Betty was pretty awesome throughout the majority of this season, as she continued to do her sleuthing, managed to solve a lot of mysteries and got quite a few really awesome moments/lines. At times I felt like she should be the lead in this show, and not just because I think Lili Reinhart is one of the 'stronger' members of the cast, but also because Betty has all the characteristics of a strong female lead character - she's clearly very intelligent, though her 'darkness' is a bit of a problem. I do wonder how much further the show is going to explore it, as they can only take her so far before she becomes a 'bad guy'. I was glad that she got her mum back to relative normalcy this season and they were able to team up on at least a couple of occasions. While I'm still not super-fond of Alice, as I haven't forgotten what she put Betty through, she was at least more tolerable this season than she was last season - so that's something. I wish we could've seen more of Betty interacting with characters other than Jughead this season. We got a few Beronica scenes, but not nearly enough, and I wanted more Betty and Cheryl scenes together, as I enjoy Cheryl's interaction with her cousin (and the way she always calls her 'cousin'). Speaking of, Cheryl continues to prove she has many sides to her when some might think she's pretty 'simplistic'/'stereotypical'. There's actually a LOT to her character, and I like seeing the show explore that. When she has quiet scenes with a character or she's really emotional, Madelaine Petsch really excels at portraying those moments. She plays the role so effortlessly and almost always steals every scene she's in. Toni didn't get a whole lot to do besides be there for/supportive of her g/f (I believe the actress who plays Toni got pregnant around this time?), but at least she was more likeable this season than she had been previously. Jughead was pretty much his normal self. Not once did I ever seriously think he was Jugdead, it was more the mystery surrounding the 'why' of it than whether or not he really was killed. We did get to see more emotions from him this season, as he lost his anger at times, we saw him show real fear (when he was locked in the coffin) and I think I just liked him more this season (I guess because at this point I've grown used to him/the way he acts). Veronica is a character I know some people aren't fond of, but I think she's pretty awesome (along with Betty and Cheryl). She really helps out her friends a LOT (as she always seems to do. Though I'm not entirely sure where this seemingly unlimited supply of money that she has is coming from. Her speakeasy must be really raking in the dough), but she's kind of wasted as a character being stuck in this neverending cycle of competing against her dad. Their storyline has played out over three seasons now and it's time to move on! Veronica needs something fresh to do that gets her away from her awful family. I liked that she teamed up with Cheryl, but it was way too brief/barely got any focus. They really need to have her interact with Betty, Cheryl, and Toni more, shake things up and explore different character dynamics. Camila Mendes deserves better material than what she's been getting. As does Marisol Nichols, since she was hardly featured this season. What a waste of her as an actress. I can understand her not wishing to continue as a 'regular' in the show since it didn't even feel like she was one this season. Honestly, I can't remember anything Hermione even did this season. If she has a reduced role in the show next season, I hope they make better use of her. The addition of Veronica's half-sister, Hermosa, didn't really add much to the family dynamic and I wasn't that fussed on the character. Unless they can find a way to make her more interesting, I can't say I'm eager to see her return. As for Hiram, nothing about him really changed that much this season. His character's been stale for a while now. The constant flip-flopping between being a horrible dad and one who maintains he 'cares' about his daughter has gotten very 'same-y'. They need to find something new for him to do besides have vendettas against 'teens'. Other characters such as Ex-Sheriff Jugdad, Archie's mum, Kevin, Reggie, etc didn't really leave much of an impression/impact on me this season. I barely remember what any of them did, though I do recall Archie's mum ended up being pretty helpful at certain times and Reggie got a bit of focus towards the start and end of the season. I have seen people complain about this show being everything from 'cringey' to 'trash' and I wonder, "Why bother watching it then?". You either embrace the craziness or move on. It's been a while since I found a show as interesting as this one. Yes, there are a lot of things here that you can see in other teen dramas, but there's also a lot that separates it from the rest. I personally enjoy the mixing of genres and find that doing that gives this show its own unique 'feel'. Could some of it be described as 'cringey'? Probably, but you can also find 'cringey' moments in most other shows as well if you want to look for them (though with some shows it seems like people just ignore the 'cringey' moments). I do think there are some really strong actors/actresses in this series playing the 'teens'. I've seen enough teen dramas to know that compared to some of the other ones that have existed, this cast are actually pretty decent. It's been a wild ride bingeing four seasons of this show. I didn't know what to expect when I started it, and now it feels like a show I can't do without watching. I guess I'll find out whether I can handle not having it to watch for a while, and move onto watching one of the many other shows I have on DVD now. I'm so glad I started this series, as I've really come to enjoy it (even with its faults). I'll miss your crazy arse, Riverdale. The release of Season 5 on DVD here can't come soon enough! Note: My reviewing for episodes of Riverdale will be going on hiatus until Season 5 of the show gets released here on DVD. It's crazy to think I've binge-watched 76 episodes of this show, and written a review for each one. Now I think I'm going to take a break from episode reviewing (assuming I don't feel compelled to write individual episode reviews for whatever the next show is that I decide to watch on DVD or Blu-ray). Thank you to anyone who actually read any of my reviews for this show.
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Post by taylorfirst1 on May 19, 2022 22:13:51 GMT 1
Season 7 will officially be the final season and it will premier mid-season which means probably March-April 2023.
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on May 20, 2022 0:25:29 GMT 1
Season 7 will officially be the final season and it will premier mid-season which means probably March-April 2023. Well, seven seasons is a pretty good run. I actually have Season 5 on DVD which I haven't started watching yet. I'll forever be glad I bought this show and didn't watch it for quite a while as it allowed me to binge the first three seasons (which I wouldn't have been able to do if I'd started watching them as soon as I bought them) just before the fourth season was released here on DVD (which I went straight onto). I'll also forever be grateful to the show for introducing me to several actresses on the show, but especially Madelaine Petsch who plays Cheryl Blossom and gave me the avatar I have today. Not sure when I'll next watch a show as wackadoodle as this one was.
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