Create a superhero and/or supervillain...
Nov 24, 2020 4:31:24 GMT 1
AQUA JAR!™, Chalice_Of_Evil, and 2 more like this
Post by AQUA SALZ! on Nov 24, 2020 4:31:24 GMT 1
You don’t want to know the ones I made up as a kid. They had the most generic names and powers possible. So, naturally, I’ve gone hunting through my bookshelves to find my old story-journals and share my genius ideas with you.
Heroes:
Fastman (real name John Williams; I’d never heard of the composer). He ran fast. He was basically Flash, except that he was serious, super-strong, and the leader of the team and—in a remarkable costuming choice—had a gigantic “F” on his chest. He also had a cape. I showed my father my fine drawing of him once, and my father said, “The cape’s going to slow him down when he runs.” Budding-Stan-Lee-Salzmark had a difficult time dealing with that hard fact of life.
Magic Ring (real name Kul-Oo, Kevin McGinnis). Based on my carefully kept notes from the time, he was Green Lantern with Superman’s origin story. I didn’t write down anything else.
Catman (real name Robert Edwards). He could, and I quote, “do anything related to cats.” God knows what that means—or where he got his cat suit (complete with whiskers and, wow, little cat ears) from. He has a cape.
Mighty Woman (real name Susan Brown). Changed from “Magic Woman,” possibly because I realized this team was already overflowing with magic! She still has a little wizard hat, a magic wand, and—of course—a cape, though. Powers: “ ” Exactly.
Mr. Great (real name Jack White). Clearly the only surnames I could come up with colors or pluralized male first-names. Mr. Great has a giant G on his chest, a belt, and shape-shifting powers. No cape, though!
Sea King (real name Alni Poseidon Neptune Marino—clearly he owns a small Italian restaurant on the waterfront). He has a beard, a crown, an S-crossed-with-a-K-crossed-with-a-fish on his chest, and “the Ocean Septor [sic].” Not only does have possess “all the powers of the Sea and marine life” and “Super strength,” but he also “can turn his body into liquid.” Very useful if Don Corleone’s men come knocking on the door of that small Italian restaurant.
Amazing Man (nameless, probably because I couldn’t figure out any more names). He can control and read minds. He also apparently lacks a nose. But, unlike Fastman and his “F,” he has a big “A” on his chest!
Miss Invisible (real name Melody Falina or maybe Faliva. Maybe I should have stuck to namelessness). She has a perm. She can, you’ll be surprised at this one, turn invisible. Also, every Salzmark-superhero wears boots.
Brainy (real name ?, like how they billed Boris Karloff in Frankenstein). He has a head so gigantic I have no idea how it can support his flea-sized body. Fittingly, he’s the “Smartest Person Alive.” But from that goofy grin on his face it sure doesn’t look like he shows it!
Villains:
King Snake (real name Alti Zora—Sea King’s partner at the bistro? Maybe they can call it “I Due Re”?). I can do no better than to quote the backstory I had for him: “A snake with a human head King Snake is the leader of the snake men who want to rule the world.” I’ll be honest, it sounds better than 99% of serious dramas.
The killer (yes, uncapitalized. Real name ?, just like Brainy. I’m clearly running out of ideas at this point). He’s, wow, “addicted to a drug that gives him all the powers of the Justice Club members.” (Oh, did I forget to inform you that the heroes are all members of the Justice Club of America? More of that sparkling Salzmarkian originality.) His symbol is a giant “X” on his chest.
And, last but certainly not least, Zero (real name ?, a symbol I’m getting a lot of use out of). He can fly and cast illusions, which sounds boring until you realize he’s a giant floating blob with a bearded human head in the center. Let me repeat that: he’s a giant floating blob with a bearded human head in the center. No, how am I supposed to know what 8-year-old me was thinking?
And, I conclude the villainous installment, “Many More enemies.”
There was another installment, “VERSIONS OF THE JUSTICE CLUB from other universes,” but I see I put giant Xs through it (aha, The killer has been here!), so I’ll spare you the pain.
Obviously I was a prodigy whom DC and Marvel should have hired and given a nine-figure salary then and there. And, if you liked this stroll down Memory Lane, just tune back next week for the imaginary countries Salzmark invented!
Heroes:
Fastman (real name John Williams; I’d never heard of the composer). He ran fast. He was basically Flash, except that he was serious, super-strong, and the leader of the team and—in a remarkable costuming choice—had a gigantic “F” on his chest. He also had a cape. I showed my father my fine drawing of him once, and my father said, “The cape’s going to slow him down when he runs.” Budding-Stan-Lee-Salzmark had a difficult time dealing with that hard fact of life.
Magic Ring (real name Kul-Oo, Kevin McGinnis). Based on my carefully kept notes from the time, he was Green Lantern with Superman’s origin story. I didn’t write down anything else.
Catman (real name Robert Edwards). He could, and I quote, “do anything related to cats.” God knows what that means—or where he got his cat suit (complete with whiskers and, wow, little cat ears) from. He has a cape.
Mighty Woman (real name Susan Brown). Changed from “Magic Woman,” possibly because I realized this team was already overflowing with magic! She still has a little wizard hat, a magic wand, and—of course—a cape, though. Powers: “ ” Exactly.
Mr. Great (real name Jack White). Clearly the only surnames I could come up with colors or pluralized male first-names. Mr. Great has a giant G on his chest, a belt, and shape-shifting powers. No cape, though!
Sea King (real name Alni Poseidon Neptune Marino—clearly he owns a small Italian restaurant on the waterfront). He has a beard, a crown, an S-crossed-with-a-K-crossed-with-a-fish on his chest, and “the Ocean Septor [sic].” Not only does have possess “all the powers of the Sea and marine life” and “Super strength,” but he also “can turn his body into liquid.” Very useful if Don Corleone’s men come knocking on the door of that small Italian restaurant.
Amazing Man (nameless, probably because I couldn’t figure out any more names). He can control and read minds. He also apparently lacks a nose. But, unlike Fastman and his “F,” he has a big “A” on his chest!
Miss Invisible (real name Melody Falina or maybe Faliva. Maybe I should have stuck to namelessness). She has a perm. She can, you’ll be surprised at this one, turn invisible. Also, every Salzmark-superhero wears boots.
Brainy (real name ?, like how they billed Boris Karloff in Frankenstein). He has a head so gigantic I have no idea how it can support his flea-sized body. Fittingly, he’s the “Smartest Person Alive.” But from that goofy grin on his face it sure doesn’t look like he shows it!
Villains:
King Snake (real name Alti Zora—Sea King’s partner at the bistro? Maybe they can call it “I Due Re”?). I can do no better than to quote the backstory I had for him: “A snake with a human head King Snake is the leader of the snake men who want to rule the world.” I’ll be honest, it sounds better than 99% of serious dramas.
The killer (yes, uncapitalized. Real name ?, just like Brainy. I’m clearly running out of ideas at this point). He’s, wow, “addicted to a drug that gives him all the powers of the Justice Club members.” (Oh, did I forget to inform you that the heroes are all members of the Justice Club of America? More of that sparkling Salzmarkian originality.) His symbol is a giant “X” on his chest.
And, last but certainly not least, Zero (real name ?, a symbol I’m getting a lot of use out of). He can fly and cast illusions, which sounds boring until you realize he’s a giant floating blob with a bearded human head in the center. Let me repeat that: he’s a giant floating blob with a bearded human head in the center. No, how am I supposed to know what 8-year-old me was thinking?
And, I conclude the villainous installment, “Many More enemies.”
There was another installment, “VERSIONS OF THE JUSTICE CLUB from other universes,” but I see I put giant Xs through it (aha, The killer has been here!), so I’ll spare you the pain.
Obviously I was a prodigy whom DC and Marvel should have hired and given a nine-figure salary then and there. And, if you liked this stroll down Memory Lane, just tune back next week for the imaginary countries Salzmark invented!